Page 40 of Chaos Kills

“Where would we go?” I mutter, crossing my legs and tucking my feet underneath me. “We’d have to get normal jobs.”

“That part sucks,” he confesses evenly, pulling the paper to his lips and inhaling a deep shot of cannabis. “However, I’m willing to try, if you are.”

Fuck, I never thought he’d ask me that question.

I’ve thought about it a million and one times, but I never thought we’dactuallydo it.

My answer is suddenly clogged in my throat because I don’t want to commit to anything. Through all its faults, South Shore is our home. The only one I know; the only one Levi and the girls know. Can we really throw our middle fingers up and say fuck all this?

“That’s a scary thought,” I admit softly. “How do you think Ellie and Mae would do with it?”

“Fine,” he replies confidently. “We’d go somewhere sunny with good weather. Maybe a beach.”

“Ellie has Peter.”

His face skews at that comment and grumbles, “Fuck that kid. I’m not basing our whole existence on some seventeen-year-old punk.”

I know, but…

“Her immediate answer is going to be no.”

“Well, she’s stuck with us, and this place is death.”

I bob my head and extend my hand for him to give me the blunt back. He does, and I take another generous hit, feeling the weight of the world around me lift.

Ellie will be the hardest to convince. She loathes change. This place is a reminder of Dad and her entire life. However, Levi and I both crave stability; we have our whole lives ahead of us, and we need to get them out of this mess.

“We might be able to warm them up to the idea,” I reply. “Let them sit on it for a little bit.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid of what Ellie will do if we bring it up too soon. She might pull a Bay Astor on me.”

My nose wrinkles. “What?”

“You were nine,” he begins. “I told you that you weren’t my best friend because you were a girl, and it royally pissed you off. You climbed out of your bedroom window that night and walked up the quiet street after telling me you were going to go off and find another best friend.”

“Oh, right.” I smile weakly. “I was.”

“You’re lucky I was out fucking around. Only God knows where your ass would've landed.”

“You sure about that?” I press, passing the blunt back to him. “I may have ended up somewhere else, and you wouldn’t have had to deal with me anymore.”

“Like in a grave?” Levi scoffs at my bullshit response. “Yeah, probably.”

I smile a bit wider, but I don’t argue. This man has been my damn warrior throughout my whole life. He’s also given me the respect and freedom I needed when I was younger to make my own decisions. But we’d still fight about it.

Needless to say, though, he’s never left my side.

“I think we should,” I state through the emptiness of the space. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“Yeah?”

I bob my head, even though an emptiness forms in my stomach. “I’ll set up a few runs, then. Get The Nameless set up with a new leader, and we’ll pick a place.”

“I’ll put the word out for a few races. Big money. We’ll start stashing.”

“We’ll set a goal to get somewhere else before the new school year starts. But I’d like to be settled in a few months before.”

“The sooner the better.”

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