Page 25 of Girl Like Me

“It’s because the one guy you want is a dick, he isn’t good enough for you.” I say, knowing Chev will never give her what she wants.

Her shoulders droop and her voice is tearful when she says she knows. Mac gently strokes her forearm and offers her a slight smile. She visibly relaxes and sinks comfortably in her seat. My guys watch the exchange with a silent fury burning in their eyes. They’re always going to be cautious of Mac. I get it but he is my friend and I plan to keep him around.

We all dig into the food Mercer made, the chatter around the table helps take my mind off knowing I have to leave them and go back to the strangers I call my family. The tightness in my chest eases the longer I’m in the presence of any of them.

“Who wants to go swimming?” Rocky exclaims randomly. He hates doing nothing. I can tell he is trying to act like his normal self, but I don’t miss the lack of movement. The one thing about him is that he is always moving; whether it be bouncing his leg, tapping his pencil against his desk, strumming his fingers along something, he even sucks his lip in and out of his mouth, though that is usually when he is trying not to talk. Yet the whole time we have been sitting here eating, he has just sat there and watched the exchanges between everyone else. He barely spoke and that is out of character, he is always the first to have verbal diarrhea.

Come to think of it, they have all been out of sorts. Levi isn’t as bossy as he normally is, he likes to be in control of everything, it’s how he processes his anxieties of not having control of his life.

Mercer and Rory are harder to read, Rory keeps his emotions at bay, he isn’t one to share. I can see the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. He also smelled like a pub, stale beer and musty old smoke when I arrived last night. Mercer would never admit it but I see the rage in his eyes especially when he looks at me. I know I have hurt him, I promised I wouldn’t leave them and I did, just the way his family did. I knew it was a risk trying to do it on my own, but I didn’t want anything to happen to him. He would never tell me he was angry with me, he just walks away, uses whatever techniques he was taught to calm himself down. I hate that I have caused that, he has always held anger inside him, things he thinks no one can see. I notice the way he grinds his teeth when he thinks no one is looking, the vein in the side of his neck bulging the angrier he gets.

Maximus may always be quiet, his eyes and body language is how we communicate. Upstairs pushed him too far, he isn’t ready emotionally. He is a teenage boy and his dick may be ready but he’s in a constant war with himself, he doesn’t know what he should like because of his past. His anxiety is at full peak, he has bright red scratch marks on the inside of his right wrist. I have been watching as he scratches when he thinks no one will notice. His plate is still mostly full, only picking at his food. We need to spend time together, I need to make sure they know I’m not leaving them forever. I’m just useless to them until I know what happened to me and I don’t have to worry whoever hurt me will come back again.

“I want to go swimming.” Everyone turns to me, I realise I must have zoned out for a second. Levi pulls me further into his body so there’s no space between us.

“We’ve already established we’re swimming. Rory has gone to check if his mum has any swimsuits.” I scrunch my nose, there are just some things you can’t do and one of them is wearing used swimmers.

“You should see your face right now.” Mac shouts, his laughter carrying throughout the whole patio. “Sorry, his mum should have some that haven’t been used, something about not wearing the same suit twice and wasting his father’s money.”

“Oh, okay.”

Rory walks back outside in a pair of black shorts that hang to his knees. He removed his shirt and it takes all of my effort to keep my eyes from wandering over his tanned torso. He is the darkest of all the guys, his natural tanned skin and his dark features does something to me.

I’m shocked from my thoughts when Levi gets hard underneath me. He brushes my hair from my shoulder and leans in close, whispering in my ear. “You know, the way you watch us all, turns me on. I know you enjoyed Rocky and I touching you at the same time and Maximus watching. Just wait until next year when we have no excuses to be away from each other.” I have to squeeze my legs together, trying to dull the ache between my thighs. I figured when we first started dating that anything sexual between any of us would be one on one. I never stopped to consider that I might like multiple guys at once. I just thought they wouldn’t want their best mate to see them naked and with the girl they like. But this morning opened a door, one that Rocky and Levi are clearly open to explore and maybe Maximus.

A mix of emotions washes over me at the thought, excitement and pleasure, and dread. There is no way a body is equipped to be sexual with five guys. How would that even work? I mean technically I have three holes and two hands, but that would require serious multitasking skills. My mind starts singing Johnny works with five hammers.Damn it brain this isn’t the time to try and be amusing.

“You’re thinking about how it would feel for me to be inside you, while the others watch.” He continues, whispering in my ear. My eyes still follow Rory, I haven’t been able to look away since he walked back outside. I watch him give Chloe her bathing suit and with more force than necessary, throw a pair of shorts at Mac and point them out towards the pool house. I gain my composure, counting in my head and evening my breathing.

Mercer, Rocky and Maximus have been clearing the table and when they walk inside with a handful of cups I turn my attention back to Levi.

“Actually, I was singing that, Johnny works with five hammers, song.” He snorts at my comment, his chest vibrates from behind me. Rory lifts a brow, a questionable look on his face, as he walks our way.

“What’s so funny?” Rory asks playfully, leaning against the glass table. His long hair is pulled back from his face, a slight stubble on his jaw that makes my mouth water. I feel a flush creep across my cheeks as I grimace at the thought of repeating my thoughts again. It was easy to tell Levi after this morning, but Rory, he is the hardest to read. Will he have an issue with sharing me?

“Nothing.” I blurt out quickly. Levi leans forward and rests his chin on my shoulder.

“I wouldn’t say you, picturing the six of us naked together, is nothing.” I watch Rory for a reaction, scared of what it might be, but all he does is smile. “Though her Johnny works with five hammers song stuck in her head might be an issue.” It's Rory’s turn to laugh.

“My balls are so blue, I would be willing to take you right here on the table and not give a shit if your friends saw.” Rory keeps eye contact with me, his tongue sweeps across his lips. My breath hitches and Levi chuckles behind me.

“Over my dead body!” Mercer booms from out of nowhere. All three of us jump, not having expected it. I’m glad he has diverted the sexual tension and disappointed he isn’t interested. I respect his decision, but he could be a bit nicer about it.

“There is no way that weasel is ever seeing you like that. When you’re spread out for us to see, it will only ever be us. One or all, I don’t give a fuck, but if another man’s eyes dare to look at you I will rip them from their sockets. You may think I’m a nice guy JD but I’m not. I protect what’s mine and make no mistake. You. Are. Mine.”

I’m elated at his words, even though he just claimed me as if I’m some inanimate object. Rocky and Maximus walk outside unaware of what’s unfolding in front of them. I’m distracted by the fact that now Rocky is also shirtless, his abs more defined than the others from the amount of training he puts himself through to burn all his energy. Maximus wears a sun shirt, more modest about his body. He isn’t as ripped as the others, but he needs to know that I find him just as attractive as the others.

I extract myself from Levi’s arms. I don’t miss him adjusting his pants, how he thinks he can hide that anaconda is beyond me. I haven’t seen him naked, but I have seen him in just his basketball shorts and they leave nothing to the imagination. He does always make sure to wear skins now that I pointed out how visible it is, not that I was complaining.

I walk over to Maximus and grab him by the hand and start to drag him inside. Rocky yells out that it isn’t fair that he gets to come watch me change, but I have to talk to one of them and Maximus rarely talks back so I get a chance to hear how my thoughts sound out loud before I voice them to the other guys. Rory’s comment about having blue balls has made me think and as much as I want to be able to relieve that issue, I’ll never pressure Maximus into anything.

I wrap my arms around my waist trying to cover my very naked body. I went to change in Rory’s bathroom and ripped the damn tags from the bikini, or should I say the two pieces of barely enough fabric to even be called a bikini. Maximus gasps as his mouth falls open, rapidly blinking behind his glasses.

I inhale, gather my courage, and drop my arms. I don’t need to be self conscious around him, but it’s hard as his eyes take in my body.

The white suit barely covers half my breasts. At least my vag is covered but my ass on the other hand is confused. It doesn’t know if the material wants to cover what's back there or slip up and wedge itself between my cheeks. I have no doubt Rory picked this one on purpose, little does he know it may send Mercer over the edge.

“Ready?” I ask him and he visibly swallows before nodding. “You know I wouldn’t mind seeing what you have under there.” I point to his shirt. His eyes instantly bulge and I see terror wash over him. I race quickly to his side, wrapping my arms around him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about why you would want to be covered, but no matter what I would never judge you, okay. To me you are perfect in every way. I love the way you are.”

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