Page 54 of Burn for Me

“Do you want me to run you a bath?” I murmur against her lips. I've never been good at comforting others, and I've never cared for the women during Chaos enough to provide any aftercare. But now, it feels as if there's a living organism inside my chest, clawing through my muscles, yearning towrap its arms around her and alleviate any pain she might be experiencing.

Breaking the kiss, she tilts her head towards the ceiling as if collecting her thoughts and shakes her head.

“I–” Clearing her throat, she uses my leg as leverage to stand, her legs trembling. I wrap my arm around her waist, hoping she’ll let me help stabilize her.

“I need a moment.” She whispers as she pushes against my chest and rushes off to the bathroom.

Nineteen

9-1-2024

It’s a beautiful view—one I could sit and admire forever.

-Jasmine

No matter how long I stand under the steaming hot spray, I still can’t gather myself. I want to cry, scream, and laugh all at the same time. What just happened was horrifying, yet I feel my thighs clenching at the mere memory of it. Another knock hits the door, and I almost groan at the sound.

Since I came in here, he has been trying non-stop to get in and help, but I don’t want any aftercare.I don’t want to think about this any more than I already have.

This time, instead of waiting for my usual “I’m fine,” he pushes the door open, and his shadow emerges behind the curtain.

“Listen…” he whispers. I cross my arms over my chest, contradicting the motion by leaning closer to the thin barrier between us. “I, uh… can answer any questions you want to ask. You’ll just have to be patient with me.”

I shake my head, even though he can’t see it. He can’t answer my questions right now; everything is too monitored. Why does his voice suddenly sound so gentle? It’s usually harsh and devoid of any emotion, but right now, it almost sounds—

Right, cameras.There I go again, thinking more deeply about this than I need to.

“I want to show you something when you're done.” There's a shuffling sound like he’s setting something down. “I'll be in our room.”

His hand rises toward the barrier before he pushes his hair back and rushes out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I tilt my head under the water, fighting back the feelings burning through my skin.This was never supposed to lead to this.

Despite my inner turmoil, curiosity wins. I slide open the shower curtain, wrap a towel around my chest, and use another fluffy one to dry my hair. I skip my usual brushing routine and stare at the silky pajama set I know I didn’t lay out.

This adds yet another question to my growing list. Pulling on my clothes, I take a deep breath, letting the comforting scent I’ve held onto for too long envelop me.

When the door opens, I almost collide with the bare chest of the man I should fear. Instead, I find myself leaning into the warmth he radiates, squinting at the scars and tattoos I’ve been trying to memorize.

Sam clears his throat, drawing my attention to a barely visible grin spreading across his face. However, before it can transforminto that toothy smile I adore, he turns away, leaving his scent to envelop me like a toxic cloud, ready to overwhelm my senses.

I rush after him, nearly drooling from how his gray sweatpants hang low on his hips and strain against his thighs with each large stride. Jesus Christ, you’d think I would be put off by now. I should be avoiding anything remotely sexual when it comes to him, but I can't. He has transformed something that terrified me into something that makes me eager to show him how willing I am to let him hold my life in his hands.

I trust him. While he may fear the control slipping through his fingers, I relish how it falls into my palms.

I gnaw at my bottom lip, mesmerized by how his muscles ripple with each step he takes, from the curve of his waist up to his shoulder blade. We walk through the hotel room door and down the hall. I’m supposed to be gathering myself, but I can’t. He has awakened a part of me that I knew existed but had refused to acknowledge. He makes me feel seen and wanted while also evoking feelings of fear and punishment.

Instead of heading toward the elevator, he turns and enters a staircase. I pause, glancing up the two flights and then down to the various spiral staircases leading to the bottom floor.

“What are we doing?” I nearly laugh as I watch him glance back at me, the flashing light from the exit sign casting a mischievous, boyish charm across his features.

I’m so utterly screwed.

“You'll ruin the surprise,” he grumbles, though his tone is softer than usual. “Stop being difficult, and come on.”

Kicking into gear, I try to take two steps at a time to keep up with his movements, but I end up winded by the time we reach the top. Sam presses his palm firmly against a metal door and turns his head to study me as I lean against the wall, placing a hand on my chest to calm my breathing.

“You’d think with all the trekking you do on the wall, you’d be able to handle a few flights,” he mutters.

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