Page 65 of Burn for Me

“I’m triggered,” I say curtly. She doesn’t deserve a detailed explanation right now, but I know she deserves a warning.

“I’m overwhelmed, and I don’t—” My words are abruptly cut off as she rushes to open her door, but I reach across and slam it shut, refusing to let her out.

“Don’t ever silence me again! I understand you’re mad and that things are overwhelming, but I refuse to let another person I love do this to me!” She yells, but I can’t concentrate on her words as I focus on the red splotches blooming along my wrist in straight, deep lines.

Is that from her? How much force did she have to use to try to pry me off? Did I—

My heart starts to race at an uncomfortable speed, making me almost nauseous, so I quickly grip her chin and turn her head towards mine.

“Stop touching me! You’re supposed to be the person who sees me! Who listens!” she snaps, trying to push me away. I know all too well what it’s like to be touched when I don’t want to be, but I can’t let go. I won’t.

I just need to make sure…

“I didn't mean to... I lost—” I swallow hard as I look at the color of her cheeks, trying to determine if the red tint is due to my hold or her emotions. “I’m sorry. Just let me check.”

Her eyes soften momentarily but then harden again. Even though she appears to be fuming, she remains still, allowing me to raise my other hand to brush her hair out of her face and trace her features with my thumbs.

“Melione O’Hanson.” I open my mouth to speak, but her jaw flexes under my hands, so I nod, and she continues, “If you want to do your digging, my notebooks have everything you need. You would've known that by now if you weren't such anasshole!”

I can handle her yelling or even a hit if she wants to throw one. I’ll take her rare cursing, too, as long as I can feel her skin for a little longer. I’m certainly angry, but I’m also terrified of the rage I’m holding inside. I have never wanted to hurt her like I’ve hurt others who made me feel this way. The thought of it makes me want to drop to my knees and beg the devil for forgiveness–even though she’s the one putting me through hell.

“Did I hurt you?” I ask softly.

She relaxes slightly but quickly responds with a short, “Not physically,” before stepping out of the car. An uneasy feeling wraps around my chest, prompting me to exit the vehicle, toss my keys to the valet, and follow her. As my palm finds the small of her back, she looks at the receptionist with a bright but fadedsmile. I’ve taken her shine away, and I don’t know how to bring it back.

“Jasmine.” I swallow against the tightening in my throat as we approach the elevator. There’s no response, and panic washes over me as the fear that I’ve pushed her too far sets in—the worry that I’ve driven her away.She looks down at the floor as we stop, and I shift closer. I wish I could express everything I want to say, but the words won’t come, no matter how hard I try to form them. Instead, I focus on every event that led to this moment while studying her profile.

“You love me?” The words feel like a prayer on my tongue—reverent and pleading.

“I may be good at changing into what people need me to be, but I’ve never been adept at changing my emotions.” The elevator doors open, and I try to guide her inside, but she dramatically pulls away.

“I don’t want good. I want all the bad—every dark, deep, horrid thing—so I can…” I growl as she tries to corner herself. Snaking my arm around her waist, I turn us until she’s trapped between the wall and my chest.

“I want it all. Just be patient with me.” Brushing my knuckles over her cheek, I let out a breath of relief, seeing the hue has lightened a shade.It was simply her emotions; I didn't hurt her.

She raises her hands to rest on my chest, but they drop back to her sides.

“Tell me what you need,” she mutters quietly, drawing my attention to her furrowed brows and the concern growing in her eyes. I know exactly what I need: a moment to collect myself, a way to regain control, and a reminder that I can still hold myself together. I need the one thing that helps me go blank and calms the storm brewing inside me—her.

I focus on her lips as the elevator rumbles below our feet, hitting another floor and breaking the silence I hadn't meant to let linger.

“Look, I know you're upset and have every right to be, but it’s never been fake with you. It’s just…” She trails off, turning her head to break my gaze but quickly looking back to avoid the metal reflections surrounding us. “You don’t have to trust me, but if you can try to look past my mistakes and give me a chance to prove—”

“Stay still,” I mutter, my brows furrowing as my mouth brushes against hers. As much as I love her endless rambling and desperately want to memorize every word she says, I know I won’t be able to focus on any of it right now.

The hue starts to return, but it’s more pink than red. It’s the color I recognize—the woman I’ve always known, now just with a few more skeletons in her closet than I expected. That’s okay, though. I can bury those skeletons when this is all over. I’d do it right now, but I can only focus on those three dangerous words she said. Even if they weren’t intended the way she expressed them, I refuse to believe otherwise.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, and her lashes flutter open. Tears are welling up again, and it tears me apart because I know she feels remorse for what she has done.

The elevator opens on our floor, and I take a deep breath, trying to memorize how she looks at this moment. I thrive off her fear, but this is different, and I know I never want to see it again.

“I know.” My mouth crashes back into hers without restraint. It’s a chaotic collision where my teeth clash with hers, and she grips the wall to keep herself balanced as we tumble down the hall.

If anyone were to see us right now, they might say we’re kissing as if we’re the air that the other needs to breathe. They’d be wrong, though. I’m kissing her in a way that makes her feelexactly how loving her is: rough, messy, and painful, yet so fucking good. It’s like trying to douse a fire with gasoline.

Her back hits the door, and she gasps, tilting her head against the barrier as I finally pull away.

“Please don’t be another one to push me aside.”

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