Page 19 of Veil of Shadows

“I always have.”

“Why is that?”

He shrugged. “I’ve spent most of my life observing others. In my line of work, it’s needed if one’s to survive.”

I knew he meant his raids, not his princely duties, and I remembered again how he always sat in the corner of establishments, with a clear view of the vicinity, whenever hewas in public as the Dark Raider. He was constantly scanning the room, watching others, reading the situation.

I cocked my head. “Have there been many close calls where you were almost caught? Other than that time you already told me of where youwerecaptured?”

“Why do I have the feeling you’re trying to change the subject?”

Because I am.

His finger coasted over my cheek, the touch so fleeting that it felt as if I’d imagined it. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

His quiet demand, while not laced with a Mistvale command, broke through my resolve. A bubble of emotion clogged my throat, and tears began to fill my eyes. “It’s Guardian Alleron.”

His nostrils immediately flared. “What did he do?”

I scoffed quietly. “Nothing new. I just—” I looked down and interlocked my fingers, playing with each digit. “I just fully realized tonight that he’s never cared for me. Ever. He’s used me my entire life. What I thought was fatherly love was all a show. He never loved me. Never cared what happened to me. I was just a pawn for him to use.” More tears welled in my eyes, and I tried valiantly to blink them back. “I mean, I knew that,” I added in a rush, “when you made him speak the truth back at that campsite in the Ustilly Mountains, but I don’t think it fully sank in until just now. I kept hoping that I was wrong or that some part of him did care, but now...”

Jax released a breath. “Now you see him for who he really is, and it hurts.”

“Yes.” I laughed self-deprecatingly. “Does that make me stupid?”

His voice grew even softer. “No, Elowen, it doesn’t make you stupid. It makes you fae. Anyone in your position would be feeling that way.” He closed the distance between us completely, and pine and spice clouded around me, wrapping me up asthough in a warm embrace. “He hurt you unforgivably. He doesn’t deserve your tears, but you are justified in how you feel. Your pain is warranted for what he did.”

His gentle words snapped something inside me. The dam that had been barely holding back my bruised heart burst. Tears flooded my eyes. They spilled in earnest down my cheeks despite me trying to hold them back.

“Will anybody ever love me?” I whispered. “Is something wrong with me, Jax?”

“Elowen,” Jax groaned. In a blink, I was in his arms. “Nothingis wrong with you,” he said so fiercely that his growl vibrated all the way to my bones.

He held me tightly, his arms like steel. It felt as though he was trying to stop the realm from hurting me, seeing me, torturing me.

And that simple act of kindness, his genuine act of concern, undid me completely.

I sobbed, my arms curling around his waist as wetness from my tears coated his chest. I cried so hard that I could barely breathe. I wept for the child who’d been used and caged. Wept for the young fairy who tried so hard to please the only male she ever had as family. Wept for the lorafin forced to wear a device that suppressed who she really was for her entire life. And wept for a blood family that I once had but had never known.

I cried it all out, and just when I thought I was done, I cried some more.

And through it all, the Dark Raider, the male feared by the most powerful and mighty fae on our continent, held me. Not once did he let go. And not once did his embrace falter as I broke down and revealed the extent of my bottomless pain.

But as the minutes passed and his embrace held firm, my tears slowly began to dry. Still, he held me. Warm, hard arms kept their grip around my waist. Hands moved up and down myback in soothing gestures. Aching words were whispered into my ear.

“He doesn’t deserve you, Elowen. He never did. Someday you will see that and truly believe it. And someday you will see how magnificent you truly are.”

His words were quiet, heartfelt, and I clung to them as though they were the only thing that kept me from drowning.

I let him hold me, and I held him back just as hard. And as the minutes ticked by, I knew that Jax wasn’t going to let me go, not until I wanted it, and something about that heartbreakingly intimate gesture made me melt against him completely.

“You deserve so much, Elowen,” he whispered. “You deserve the realm, and by the gods, I wish I could give it to you.”

We stood quietly, and eventually his soft words grew silent, and he simply cradled me.

His heart beat against my ear. His scent enveloped me. And something in me cracked open. The first tendrils of hope bled into my system. A belief kindled within me that perhaps this male felt more for me and genuinely cared more about me than my guardian ever had.

Silence surrounded us as the moonlight grew brighter through the windows, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel alone anymore. Not within Jax’s arms. Not within his soothing embrace.

---