Page 112 of Queen of the Crimson Throne

Everyone mumbled agreement before slowly dismissing themselves until it was only Lennox and I left in the room.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I kept my gaze on the floor. “I will be.” She moved, the sound of her filling a glass at the bar cart filling my ears.

The couch dipped as she sat beside me. “Here.” She handed me a drink.

“How are you so calm about this?” I brought the drink to my lips.

She sighed deeply. “When Astria spoke to me, she told me something.”

She took another sip from her glass, I watched as she licked a drop from her lips.

“What did she say?” My voice was rough in my throat.

“She—she said some things that have gotten me thinking—I can’t make sense of it all yet, but she said I needed—thatweneeded to look past the arranged marriage. To instead look at how we got here and who we got here with.”

She set her glass down and rested her head between her hands. “She said things are more simple than they seem.”

I drained the remaining liquid in my glass before setting it on the table next to hers. “I feel the complete opposite,” I mumbled.

Lennox reached behind her, grabbed the bottle, and filled both of our glasses.

“Things have never been simple when it comes to you and me,” I muttered.

“Isn’t that the truth?” she agreed as she took another sip. “But we both need to accept we’re getting married. Hecate told us we would be tied together. This must be what she meant.”

I scoffed. “After all this you’re going to accept this marriage so easily?” I had no qualms in marrying Lennox. I loved her for fucks sake. I’d marry her tonight if that’s what she wanted, but it wasn’t. She didn’t choose me for herself. She was stuck with me.

“Luka.” Her hand rested on my leg. “There are worse people I could marry.”

I shifted so her hand fell from my leg. I was being more stubborn about this than I should have been, but I couldn’t understand why she was suddenly so okay with this.

“Isn’t that a nice sentiment?” I muttered.

“Luka.” She reached for me again, but I stood, moving out of her reach.

“Don’t.” I shook my head, trying and failing to right my thoughts. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t act like this, I need some time to process this.” I sighed.

I took up my spot next to her again. “I just hate the idea that I am someone you’re stuck with.”

I could feel her gaze bearing into the side of my face, but I remained looking forward. “Don’t you understand? I don’t see it that way, Luka. You are—” She stood, pacing as she wrung her hands.

“I know we’ve had our ups and downs, and most of that is due to me, but Luka—you mean more to me than about anyone. Yes, I always dreamed I could marry for love, but I also thought if I’d be forced into an arranged marriage it would be with a stranger, someone I didn’t know. I worried they’d be a cruel, terrible person I could never get along with. I never imagined I’d be in an arranged marriage withyou. With myfriend. With someone I care about so deeply—” There was a waver to her voice, but she continued.

“Someone who cares about me more than I’ve ever been cared about. Someone who sees me for me, who takes care of me, who pushes me to be a better person. Someone who will go to all ends to ensure I am happy and I get what I deserve, even if I think I don’t deserve it. You never gave up on me even when I was so broken and cruel and a shell of a person. I am so lucky to get to marry you.”

She took a deep breath. “I know you think you don’t deserve me Luka, but I don’t deserve you. I’ve dragged you through hell and you’re still here, wishing better for me.” She stopped her pacing to look at me. “You are better Luka, and I need you to realize that.”

There were times when I thought Lennox and I couldn’t be more different, but in times like now, I was reminded how similar we were.

“We’re two fucked up people aren’t we.” I leaned back on the couch and she collapsedbeside me.

“More fucked up than anyone else I’ve ever met.” It would take me a while to adjust to the fact we would indeed be getting married. Even if it wasn’t what either of us wanted. But we’d figure this out. Somehow, we’d figure this all out.

I wove my fingers through hers and brought her hand to my mouth, kissing the back of her hand, her skin was smooth against my lips. Astria’s tits did I want to kiss more than her hand.

“Thank you—for saying all that.” I sighed. “I’ve got issues, clearly.”

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