Page 129 of Queen of the Crimson Throne

She braced her arms on either side of me, careful to make sure she didn’t touch the burn before she pressed a kiss to my jaw and then my lips. I wound my hand through her hair, keeping her lips against mine until she finally pulled away. She pressed her forehead against mine, her hair a curtain around us.

“Sleep,” she murmured.

“Sleep,” I confirmed. As much as I wanted to continue what we had started, I knew that’s what neither one of us truly needed right now.

She sat up and swung her leg off of me. She fixed her nightgown before curling up next to me, resting her head in the crook of my shoulder and pulling the blanket over us.

51

LENNOX

I snuck out of Luka’s room before he woke.

I usually relished waking up in his arms. I loved basking in the feeling of being safe, protected, and happy—for as long as possible in his presence.

But not today. Not after last night.

I know I’d have to face my choices later—all of my choices, but that was exactly why I snuck out. I needed to gather my thoughts with a clear head. I needed time out of Luka’s arms to do such.

I knew the moment Luka woke up and looked at me with sleep in his eyes, with his hair all rumpled like I loved, all rational thoughts would scatter and I’d finish what I started last night.

When it came to Luka, I had such a hard time being rational. The way he looked at me—sometimes it made me want to say fuck caution and reasonable thought and screw my shattered and broken heart because Luka made all those fears seem so much smaller.

But I couldn’t do that, because I was marrying him in a little over a week.

I would soon be tiedto him for the rest of my life.

If I said screw it and let myself be happy with Luka, what would happen if it all fell to pieces? Not only would I once again find myself shattered—but there would be no escaping him.

But last night—the idea of losing him shook me to my core.

I needed to feel him—to touch him to help quench my worries.

And it did. And then some.

It should have felt like a mistake—letting myself kiss him. But I couldn’t find it in myself to call it that. Maybe we could walk this line. We could be friends who were married and also fucked.

That could work, right?

I could contain my feelings towards Luka to strictly friends. Because being with Luka—touching him, kissing him, being with him, it quieted my mind.

And now my mind was anything but quiet.

I had no idea what to do about Luka and I, and on top of that, the Vanir had struck again. And there was the journal. Or the lack of journal. And whatever Arlo had to do with everything. Everything was a fucking disaster and we were running out of time.

But there was one thing I could do.

Trying to summon Astria again might be a stupid idea.

Trying to summon Astria by myself might not even work, but I needed to try.

We had unfinished business and I needed answers.

I pricked my finger, letting the blood fall into the bowl in front of me.

I had come to a cave hidden in the woods—one Kara, Luce and I used to explore as children not far from the lake. I hadn’t been here in years, I doubted anyone had, which made it theperfect place to summon the Goddess out of the prying eyes of others.

I hoped it would work by myself.

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