Page 137 of Queen of the Crimson Throne

“That’s not what you made it seem like last night.”

“Fuck you,” She spat, her eyes churning violently, the green turning a dark shade, I could sense her magic rising to the surface. “I needed you last night and you left me.” She shoved me with a hand to the chest.

“I didn’t leave you, Lennox. If you needed me, you wouldn’t have tried to get me into bed and would have talked to me instead. You wanted to use me to avoid dealing with whatever is eating you up. If you would have talked, I would have listened. But my feelings are at stake here, I have to have some self-preservation when it comes to you, Lennox.”

She looked like I slapped her, but I continued, “I’m not saying any of this to try and hurt you Lennox, I need you to understand that. I want to be able to be there for you when you need me, but I can’t risk my own well-being in the process. I’m trying to protect myself, Lennox. Don’t you realize the power you have over me? You can shatter my heart with a single word. One fucking word and I’m done for. That’s how much control you have over me. You don’t realize how hard it was for me to say no to you yesterday but I did. And then I drank myself into a stupor to keep myself from going to you anyway.”

Still, she said nothing. Her face blank—I had no idea if my words were even sinking in. If she heard any of them at all.

“Come and find me when you’re ready to talk,” I told her before leaving her in the hallway.

54

LENNOX

I stared at the space that Luka left empty.

Come and find me when you’re ready to talk.

How had I fucked everything up so quickly?

All this time I had been trying to protect myself from Luka hurting me, while he was trying to protect himself from me.

I let his words echo in my mind as I made my way up to my room.

First Astria and now Luka?—

“Lennox, what are you doing?” My sister’s grip was firm on my arm, her fingers pressing into my skin as she pulled me into her room from the hallway.

“Kara?” My brows furrowed as I looked at my sister. Her eyes were blazing. “What do you mean what am I doing? You’re the one pulling me aggressively into your room with no warning.”

“What are you doing messing around with Luka like that?”

My mouth fell open. “I’m not messing around with Luka!”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “The conversation I overheard makes me think otherwise.”

“You were spying on us?”

“It’s not like you were in a secluded location. You were in the middle of the hallway.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, making myself a mirror of Kara. “It still doesn’t make it okay.”

“You know what’s not okay?”

I looked at the ground, not wanting to hear her answer, but I knew I’d get it anyway. “Fucking Luka isn’t okay. Tell me you’re not fucking him, Lennox.”

“I’m not fucking him!”

She sighed deeply, giving me a look,mylook.

“We only kissed,” I admitted. She didn’t need to know there was more than kissing.

She threw her hands up in the air. “Goddess, Lennox. How could you be so insensitive?”

“Insensitive? How does that make me insensitive?”

She turned from me and paced the room, her hands firmly on her waist. “He would burn the realm to ashes for you if it meant you’d be happy. He’d string himself up if it was what you wanted. And you take advantage of that, Lennox.”

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