Page 139 of Queen of the Crimson Throne

But what if I let myself fall back into him? We were getting married. If everything fell apart, there would be no escaping him. I’d have to continue to stand by his side for the rest of our lives. But could I live with the opposite? Could I stand next to Luka, pretending not to care about him, pretending I didn’t want to let myself fall into him for the rest of our lives? I didn’t know if I could live with that pain.

The way I looked at it, both options could end in pain. Why wasn’t there an outcome that wouldn’t leave me heartbroken?

Luka all but avoided me for the next several days. We trained but hardly spoke. He left right as we finished, leaving the palace shortly after and not returning until late. I wanted to talk to him—I tried to work up the courage to talk to him, but I lost the nerve every time and before I knew it he was gone. What would I say to him anyway? I still had no idea where I stood—where we stood. Part of me hoped when I finally did talk to him I would know what to say—that I would know what to do. But the opportunity never presented itself.

We are getting married tomorrow.

Tonight there was to be a dinner with all of the monarchs that had arrived for the wedding along with several other important families.

Arlo and Lorenzo would be there, along with Caterina and Endora. The kings from the Aquatic Court, Alon and Ceto, arrived yesterday, as did the prince and princess from the Twilight Court. Nico’s sister was due to arrive tomorrowmorning as a representative from the Lunar Court. There would be a representative from every court except the Court of Embers, which was a surprise to no one. They hadn’t left their court in centuries.

My gown had a fitted corset, with sleeves that fell off my shoulders. The dark green fabric, the color of a deep forest, had an iridescent glow to it—like the fabric itself sparkled.

A crown far more extravagant than I typically preferred rested on my head. My hair was pinned up intricately—the pins Gulia had used already poking into my head. When Kara did my hair she was careful to make sure none of the pins poked me.

But Kara and I had yet to talk to each other since our fight.

It had been a lonely few days left alone with my thoughts.

Luka and I were sitting on opposite ends of the table—what felt like a million miles away. All the people I would have liked to have next to me to keep me company were seated away from me, scattered around the table. I would need to make sure I had a hand in creating the seating chart next time. This one felt like a cosmic joke.

The kings from the Aquatic Court were seated on either side of me. Ceto sat to my left, his dark hair was braided in many small braids, each one banded with gold and silver clasps on the end that complimented his dark skin. His large frame made the chair he occupied look small. His husband, Alon sat on my other side, the complete opposite of his partner with his lighter skin and smaller frame.

I didn’t mind conversing with the kings, I would need to make a point to visit the Aquatic Court, but political conversations were the last thing on my mind. While I talked with the kings I couldn’t help but let my gaze travel towards Luka. He looked so happy—so content at the opposite end of the table as he conversed with Caterina and Endora. He didn’t appear to be bothered by our lack of communication over the last several days, oblivious to the turmoil happening in my mind.

As the servants cleared the last of the plates, Arlo stood, glass in hand. I hadn’t had a chance yet to talk with Arlo and Lorenzo, and I didn’t know if Luka had either. But his presence in my home set me on edge.

“Thank you all for coming tonight. We are all so excited to celebrate the marriage of my nephew Luka, and our esteemed High Queen Lennox.” He looked around the table, giving me a lingering look, causing my back to straighten in my chair. “Our intention with this union is to help unite our continent, especially the relationship with the Blood Court and the rest of Lethenia.” Somber murmurs broke out around the table, and Arlo quickly continued, “We have already seen the impact of this union—the Blood Court and the Star Court have never been closer.”

I forced a smile onto my face. If only he knew Luka and I hadn’t talked in days and we were trying to figure out his involvement with my parents’ murders.

Arlo raised his glass. “To Lennox and Luka."

“To Lennox and Luka,” everyone echoed.

Arlo’s toast marked the end of dinner. I placed my glass on the table before standing and making my way to Kara and Luce.

“Hey.” I turned at the sound of Luka’s voice. I don’t know how he had gotten across the room so quickly.

He took another step closer to me, gently placing his hand on my back. “Is this okay?”

I nodded. “How are you doing?”

“Okay.”

“You made it through the dinner, that’s one less thing to worry about.”

“You’re right. If only we could just skip past tomorrow.”

“That would be nice wouldn’t it.”

We both took another sip from our drinks as we looked around the room at the people chatting. We were the couple they were all supposed to be celebrating today, but they allseemed unconcerned about engaging in conversations with the two of us.

Fine by me.

“You’ve certainly kept yourself busy this week.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. “There were lots of tasks that needed my attention. I think you’re familiar with that.”

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