Page 51 of Queen of the Crimson Throne

Not after the parting words I left him with.

I didn’t realize where I was going—my feet carrying me up the stairs to the training room on their own accord. Nico had mentioned there was access to the roof from up there.

I tore through the room, looking for the door that would give me access to the roof.

Air.I needed air.

I finally found it—tearing open the door, My eyes stung as I ran up the stairs.

The moment the cool night air caressed my skin I felt like I could finally breathe again. I gulped in the air. My lungs were greedy for it. I ran for the ledge—my hands grasping the cool stone as I took deep breaths to calm my raging heart and shaking hands.

I don’t know how long it took but finally, my breathing steadied.

“Are you okay?”

I jumped at the deep voice behind me, my hand going instinctively to my chest. How out of control had I been to not notice there was someone else up here?

I turned as Declan approached me. His dark hair was unbound, his wings spread wide behind him.

Was I okay?

Yes.

No.

“I don’t know.” I turned back towards the sky as he took up a place next to me at the railing. “I don’t think I’ve been okay for a long time.”

He was quiet beside me. How pathetic was I? I was now telling my problems to Declan who rarely involved himself in others’ personal matters.

“Has Luka ever told you my story?” Declan spoke into the darkness, surprising me with his question.

“Not entirely. He told me it was your story to tell.” I thought back to mine and Luka’s conversation back in the Mystic Court, what he had told me about Declan.

He sighed deeply. “My mother died giving birth to me. Babes aren’t supposed to be born with wings. They didn’t expect it. I was considered a freak of nature.”

I had never heard of half shifted harpies before meeting Declan, but I didn’t realize Declan was the only one.

“My father abandoned me at birth. Lost in grief over my mother and essentially disowning me—his son was born an abomination with wings. The only of his kind. What a disgrace. And on top of that,Ikilled her. That was something my father never let me forget.”

I kept my gaze on the dark sky as Declan continued, his hands gripping the railing so hard his knuckles had begun to turn white.

“I was raised for the first seven years of my life by the staff in the palace. The only reason my father didn’t kill me wasbecause people knew of my birth. I was supposed to be the highly anticipated heir of the Captain of the Guard, but I had failed him from day one. I saw my father on occasion. He made sure he reminded me I was an abomination and he had disowned me. It wasn’t until others inquired about my abilities—if I could fly with my wings…” He let out a puff of air as his wings twitched behind him.

“I was so happy when he finally took an interest in me. I should have known better. He only trained me so he could use me. What a useful killing machine I could be. What a good spy I could be. My training was ruthless. Any wrongdoing was punished. Nothing I ever did was good enough for my father. He looked for any excuse to punish me. I couldn’t tell you how many times I had laid on the training room floor unable to move—only to be found by a staff member hours later. The palace staff, they are the only reason I survived. That I didn’t end it myself.”

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

“And then I met Luka. Or Luka found me, however you want to put it. He was the first person to show me there was more out there than the sad existence I was living. That I could leave. That I could live out from under my father’s terror. That hope is what kept me going those last years until I left at sixteen.”

I placed my hand over his. “Declan, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not telling you this to get your sympathy.” He didn’t move his hand out from under mine. “I don’t like telling my story for that reason, but I often wonder if being born with my wings is a blessing or a curse.”

I furrowed my brows as I tried to follow where he was going with this.

“I go back and forth depending on the day. My wings cursed me when it came to my father. But they were a blessing to bring me, Luka, and Nico together. And flying—” He shookhis head, his dark hair swishing with the movement. “There’s nothing like flying.”

“Why are you telling me all this, Delcan?”

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