Page 55 of Queen of the Crimson Throne

I knew this palace, but right now I couldn’t figure out where I was. I needed—I needed space. I needed to be alone.

I ran through the great hall, ignoring the looks of the staff as I ran. I burst through the doors, gulping in the chilled air as it seized my lungs.

I tried and failed to calm my breathing as I made my way through the garden. It wasn’t much of a garden anymore, only a few late fall plants remained, the rest had all withered away for the winter.

Finally, I made it to the deserted patch at the far west side of the garden—the part that had hosted an array of witch herbs and plants growing up. By the looks of it, it still held those same contents, the plants spelled to continue growing even during the winter months.

When I spotted the old wooden bench, my legs threatened to give out from underneath me. I choked back a sob as I collapsed onto the bench.

My mother’s bench.

The sight of her name carved into the wood next to her sisters and my grandmothers, sealed with magic to preserve them, calmed my breathing slightly. My name, along with Kara, Nol, and Luce’s were etched into the wood at the bottom. Our script large and sloppy. We hadn't wanted to wait until we were older to carve our names in.

I sat on the bench, not bothering to use my magic to warm me as the air chilled my bones.

I stared at the patch of witch plants. I recited each one in my head, row by row, only looking up when I heard footsteps on the stones.

I expected my aunt or Kara to be the one to follow me, but I shouldn’t have been surprised to find Luka appearing from the path.

Relief flickered across his features at his discovery of me, but he remained silent as he sat beside me on the bench.

I continued my mental noting of the plants as we sat side by side. I could feel his gaze boring into me but I ignored him.

His hand moved to the space between us, brushing with my own only for him to immediately pull it back.

He scooted closer, eliminating the gap between us, and put his arm around my shoulders. A complaint was posed on my tongue, but it was momentarily halted by the warm tingling sensation cruising through my body—heating my veins.

Luka’s fire scorched its way through me, warming the pointed tips of my ears to my toes frozen in my boots.

“Thank you.” Only then did I dare to turn my head towards him. He gave me a slight smile before turning his attention back towards the plants I had been surveying.

“Will you tell me about them?” He dipped his head towards the plants. “They’re not any I recognize, I assume they’re witch plants.”

“They are.” I proceeded to tell him the names and uses of all of the plants I could remember and he indulged me. He asked questions and gave comments as he continued to warm my body.

When I had finally described all of the plants to him I fell silent.

“Does it make me a terrible person that I’m mad at a dead person?”

“No,” he answered immediately. “I think we spend more time feeling mad at the people we lost than we realize.”

“I—” I took a deep breath. “I hate that mycurrent situation is an outcome of a scheme I wasn’t even a part of. When it was a simple clear-cut deal between the two courts it made sense. My brother was set to partake in an arranged marriage, and one of us had to take his place. I understood it. I didn’t like it, but I understood it. That’s politics. But this? This mess? This I don’t understand.” I threw my hands up defeated. “And why didn’t they tell me? Why did it all have to be a secret? I’m—I’m so mad at them. Nol especially. This isn’t like him to scheme like this.”

“Maybe he truly believed the journal held that much power.”

“Maybe.” I sighed. “I hate that we both got brought into this mess with no say in it.”

“I could have had a say in this.” His voice was soft. “I could have passed off the prospect of marrying you to Lorenzo. If you think about it, I’m playing the same role your brother was.”

I mulled over his words. Was he? Luka had come in knowing he might have to marry me if he couldn’t find the book—but his and Nol’s circumstances were different.

“No, you’re not in the same position. Nol would have married Larissa if it came down to him not finding the book in time. You—you are fighting tooth and nail to ensure we don’t have to get married.”

Silence stretched between us again before I broke it.

“I don’t know if I ever told you, but I forgive you for keeping that secret from me. I did a long time ago,” I said softly. “And I don’t blame you for any of this—and my outburst in there had nothing to do with you but everything to do with our circumstances.”

Luka sighed deeply. “Sometimes I feel like we’re pawns in a game much bigger than ourselves—that we have no control over our lives. That every choice is dictated by some higher power.”

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