Page 81 of Queen of the Crimson Throne

I should have stopped talking. I had already made myself a fool for Lennox too many times only to be rejected by her each time. But I needed her to know how I felt. If there was even a sliver of a chance she’d ever see me as more than a friend again I needed her to know how I felt.

“You can’t say that,” she stammered, the panic clear in her voice. “I’m no one special. You can’t put your life on hold waiting for me.”

“I already have, Lennox, I did the day you walked down those stairs and hurled insults at me like it was your first nature.”

She opened her mouth only to shut it again.

“I’ve told you countless times and I’ll tell you again. I will wait for you, Lennox. However long it takes. I’ll even be your fucking friend if that’s what you need me to do right now. But there is no one else. There will never be anyone else as long as you are still in this realm.”

I wanted to tell her I loved her. I wanted to tell her I loved her until she believed it. I knew nothing would make her believe it until she wanted to, but I had already scared her too much. Pushed her too far. It was clear by the look on her face.

“Luka—I.” Her hands dropped from where they had rested around my neck.

“I need some air.” She turned to the door.

“Let me escort you.”

“No, I need—” I grabbed her hand in mine and turned her toward me as the crowd looked on and murmured around us. I took another step toward her in an attempt to keep our conversation between the two of us.

“I know you need a moment away from me. I’ll give you that, at least let me escort you.” She nodded in agreement and let me lead her towards the door to the patio.

The patio was mostly empty, as was expected at this time of year, but a few people were littered around the open space. I led Lennox past the patio, intending on leading her to a secluded space in the garden where she could be alone with her thoughts.When we rounded the first hedge we came face to face with a hulking silver-haired wolf.

Nico smiled brightly as he took in the two of us hand in hand. “Well isn’t it the couple of the night. Out for a little alone time?” He waggled his eyebrows.

I looked at Lennox out of the corner of my eye, who was visibly pale under the light of the moon as she stared straight ahead.

“Nico, can you escort Lennox to a private garden spot?” The wolf eyed the two of us curiously. “Lennox needed some air.” Understanding flashed across his features.

“Of course.” He held his arm out to Lennox and she took it without hesitation. I watched as Nico led her deeper into the garden. The knot in my stomach tightening with every step Lennox took away from me.

32

LENNOX

I gripped Nico’s arm with an iron grasp. Fearing if I let go I might sink to the ground as Luka’s words swam in my mind.

I felt like I had drank too much wine—my mind was foggy, nothing was making sense, although I‘d only had one glass.

“What did Luka say to freak you out now?” Nico continued to lead me through the garden. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but?—”

“I— he—I don’t know.” Tears prickled at the edges of my vision.

Nico led me to a bench and I sat, immediately putting my face in my hands as I tried to process what happened.

“I think he loves me,” I said finally.

“No shit.”

I whipped my head up to look at him, but his expression remained neutral. “What? Are you telling me you’re only figuring this out now? I could tell he was falling in love with you the first day I arrived in Alethens. He has it bad for you, Lennox.”

I wasn’t just figuring it out. He had tried to tell me he loved me that last day in Alethens, but I hadn’t wanted to believe it. Ihad hoped it was something he tried to say in the heat of the moment.

“We can’t be together.” The words felt rough in my throat.

“Why not?”

“It—it’s too complicated.”

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