Page 135 of A War of Three Kings

“But you know you cannot do everything.”

“I know,” I whisper. It doesn’t help the guilt rolling through me.

Weeks pass in a blur as Mothers of Magic visit countless sites. The chill of early winter is heavy in the air when my mother shakes me awake one morning. Pale light seeps in through the open doorway, melting the light frost that coats the ground. I untangle myself from the blankets and furs, rubbing the heels of my hands across my eyes.

“Did something happen?” I ask groggily.

“It is time for your sister to return to Appleshield and birth her baby,” she says curtly.

My mouth hangs open. “She hasn’t gone into labor, has she?”

“I am trying to prevent her from going into labor in a war camp, or in this sanctuary, where we risk letting the enemy in each time a portal is opened.”

Realization slams into me. “You want to take her home against her will?”

Her eyes dart away from mine. “We will convince her to cooperate.”

I throw on my clothes and follow her out to the portal that leads to the Appleshield sanctuary. Placing my hands on the cold moonstone, I force the liquid fire of my raw magic into it, resisting the tug as the portal pulls more and more from me. Diarmuid feeds his magic from the other side, and our powerbumps against each other and fuses.The air vibrates with a low hum as the portal finally opens.

My heart will surely shatter into a million pieces, sending Caitlin away like this, when her journey is as dangerous as mine. I pictured myself at her side when she went into labor, wiping her face with a cool towel and holding her hand. At least she will have our mother.

“I am not ready to leave.” Caitlin’s voice breaks as my mother and grandmother lead her between them. “I can’t just walk away from Keira, from this war, when I don’t know if she will be okay.”

I move to my sister and take her hands in mine. They are swollen, along with her legs. She couldn’t fire arrows or ride a horse now. “You have done enough in this war. I have so many protectors that one more won’t make the difference.”

Tears roll down Caitlin’s face. “I can’t leave you in your darkest hour. I just can’t.”

“And what use will you be on a battlefield, so heavy with child?” My mother’s voice is stern. “You may need to walk away now, to make sacrifices to protect your child, but that doesn’t set the tone for the rest of your life.” She takes Caitlin’s face in her hands and peers into her eyes. “There are many kinds of mothers, and all are valid. Those like me, who live only for and through their children, but give up their past identity and self. And those who accept that it takes a tribe to raise a child and don’t need to take on every last responsibility themselves. Who work, like your grandmother did, or charge into battle like your father, and accept the help of the community around them.”

My mother brushes the hair from Caitlin’s face, and I think I am going to cry.

“You have plenty of time to decide what kind of mother you will be, and I will be at your side supporting you, but right now you need to come home and birth this baby. She is coming in the next weeks, maybe the next days, whether you are ready ornot. I guarantee you, there will be battles to fight after you have recovered.”

Caitlin nods. “It is so easy to feel diminished and powerless.”

My mother takes her hand. “It won’t always be this way.”

As they approach the portal, I realize a woman follows behind them. She is the fae who is both soldier and midwife, who Cyprien recruited for Caitlin.

I wrap my sister in a long embrace, rocking from side to side, before passing her to our brother. Then she steps through the portal with our mother, our grandmother and the midwife. A wave of anxiety rushes through me, making my knees weak.

Diarmuid is immediately at my side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just so scared for her.”

“I’m scared for both of you,” he says gruffly, threading his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side. “Come. Let’s go have breakfast before the priestesses return from their missions and we need to open the next set of portals.”

I allow him to pull me away, despite how I want to race after Caitlin.

Chapter 36

Keira

Iam startled awake the morning after Caitlin left as a heavy weight crushes down on me. My eyes fly open to inky darkness, but I can just make out a face hovering over mine. Panic rears within me as I jolt, then try to fight them off, but I can’t move my arms. I am pinned beneath the blankets. Hands press my shoulders into the mattress and a knee cuts painfully into my chest, with a man’s weight behind it.

I recognize the scent of his perfume, and thrash wildly, kicking and bucking, trying to flip him off me, but it is no use.Fear blooms within my chest.

Deranged laughter cackles out of my assailant, ending in a high-pitched note. He leans down and speaks into my ear.

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