Page 43 of Irresistible

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Friday Evening

Brock walked into his house and dropped his bag next to the door. Flipping on the lights, he looked around and shuddered. He was deep into the remodel, and the great room and kitchen had arrived at the point where everything was torn out and little had been redone. At least he had kitchen appliances and cabinets installed. No counters, though.

He hadn’t accomplished much in the last couple of weeks because he’d been spending all his free time with Lilly. Running his hand through his hair, he let out a huff of air. How could he ask her to take him on if he was suspended and under investigation? The last day and a half spent in interviews and meetings had wrung him out. Seeing the tapes of his actions left little room for doubt about what he was capable of. Being deployed and taking part in direct action missions in a war was one thing, but being a civilian and using lethal force was quite another.

How well he could manage the warrior that lived within him was a question he couldn’t answer with certainty. Which made him want to stay away from Lilly, as much as that ripped him apart inside. The last couple of weeks had shown him a world of happiness that he wanted to hold on to. To fight for. To deserve. If that was even possible.

The rumble of a truck pulling into the driveway caught his attention. It was probably Brady. It had been far too long since the Landry brothers had spent any real time around one another. Being together might be just what he needed. Getting his head screwed on right about what was about to happen with his career and Lilly was critical.

The door opened and Brady walked through with a bag slung over his shoulder. “Big brother, you look like shit!”

Shaking his head, Brock ambled over and embraced his middle brother. “Back at you,” he said as he thumped his shoulder.

“Been on the road for seventeen hours. What’s your excuse?” Brady laughed as he stepped back.

“I’ve had a couple of rough days at work,” Brock replied. “I’ll order pizza and we can catch up. Brody should be by later.”

“Had a long conversation with him, and he filled me in. You should’ve just killed the son of a bitch when you had the chance.”

“That kind of talk isn’t gonna help.” Leaning against the wall, Brock shook his head. “I have a bed set up for you in the extra bedroom. Go on up and get settled, and then we can catch up.”

“You’ve been working on this place for a year. It doesn’t look like you’ve gotten much done.”

“The bedrooms are done and so’s the garage. This area is taking a little longer because I’ve changed some of the materials.”

“Why isn’t Brody helping you knock this thing out? He’s the contractor in the family.”

“Been a hell of a year for him. He’s had several big projects and hasn’t had any time. Looks like that little company of his isn’t so little anymore.”

“God damn, that’s good news.”

“What about you?” Looking down at the brace covering his brother’s knee, he wondered if the injury he’d sustained last month was career-ending. Life on the Hostage Rescue Team wore on a man’s body. Brady’d had several close calls over the last five years, and Brock hoped like hell this wasn’t the end for him. Leaving a career you loved wasn’t easy, and transitioning was more difficult than anyone let on. He knew that better than most, and the last couple of days had shown him he wasn’t even close to where he needed to be.

“May not come back from this one,” Brady replied.

The lack of emotion on his brother’s face felt all too familiar. When Brock had sat in the medical evaluation that ended his career with the Marines, he’d felt nothing. It was too damn big to process, so he didn’t. It was the same thing he’d done when his mama passed. Some things took a long time to understand and accept, and he’d always chosen to work through whatever it was by taking action. He’d been more comfortable doing something instead of thinking. “Second acts aren’t always bad. Turns out that when one thing ends, it leaves room for something else.”

“Are we talking about Lilly?”

“Go get settled and I’ll order up dinner. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

“That we do,” Brady said firmly. “I want to make sure that you deserve that fine woman.”

Brock slapped his brother on the back and watched him head toward the stairs.

Brady’s words were exactly what Brock was afraid of. Not deserving Lilly. A man who was capable of almost murdering another man wasn’t even close to being deserving. Doubt had settled into his gut, and not having a lot of experience with it, he hated it.

This might not be something he could fix. Which was as foreign a concept to him as anything. The woman owned him body, heart, and soul, and he had no idea how to prove to himself and to her that he was worthy.

***

The Landry brothers devoured several large pizzas and consumed enough beer to make them all think they were funnier than they really were. Brock leaned against the couch and wiped his eyes. “That’s not how it happened,” he said with more certainty than he actually felt.

“Yes, it is,” his brothers chorused.

Flipping them off, he lifted his beer and drained it. “I did not follow her around the party and warn off any boys who got close to her. I hung out with my friends and hardly paid her any attention.”