Page 44 of Irresistible

“If that’s the memory you need to keep, you just go ahead,” Brady replied. “The minute you spotted her in that bikini, you were cooked. Pretty sure you never got over it.”

“Hell, it’s only taken you thirteen years to do something about it,” Brody added.

“And it may be over before we’ve really had a chance,” Brock said quietly.

Brody let his feet slide off the table and sat up. “Stop it, you dumb son of a bitch.” Both brothers’ heads spun around with a what-the-hell look. “Yeah, I said it. Get over yourself. You’re not perfect, and you don’t have to be for Lilly. For being so smart, you sure are stupid.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Brock yelled.

“Ever since Mama died, you think you have to be perfect and never make a mistake. Something you decided in your twelve-year-old mind is running your life to this day. Mama had cancer. There is nothing that any of us could do about it. And that includes you. Being a perfect son, brother, and friend is not going to change anything. Don’t screw up the one thing you’ve wanted in your life because you made a mistake.”

“It wasn’t a mistake,” Brady said firmly. “He made the right choice in the end and let the asshole live.”

“There isn’t a man alive who could see his girlfriend being beaten and not do something about it,” Brody added.

“I was seconds away from ending his life. When he said it was Lilly’s fault, I lost it.”

“And who wouldn’t?” Brady asked. “But you made the right choice.”

“Barely,” Brock said. “It was only Lilly’s voice that pulled me out.”

“What the hell has got you so twisted up, then?” Brody asked. “You were in combat for eight years. Why is this getting to you?”

“Because I’m a civilian now, and what I did in war is not acceptable here at home. And…I’m not sure that the trained killer the Marines made me into knows how to behave in regular situations. Until I’m sure, maybe I shouldn’t be around Lilly.”

“Maybe,” Brady responded. “Or maybe you’ve got a lot of shit mixed up.”

“Which I should figure out before I go any further with Lilly.”

“What happens next at work?” Brody asked. “Are you suspended?”

“I’ve been assigned to desk duty while the department does their investigation. The lieutenant is reviewing it and then it goes to the captain. If they decide that a violation has occurred, then I face discipline. So, it’s a suspension, demotion, or discharge. A personnel review committee decides. It could take several months.”

“What is your union representative telling you?” Brady asked.

“He thinks I’ll walk away with a demotion. Loren thinks she can lobby for a suspension. I’m guilty of a violation. I used excessive force and I’m not going to deny it or try to justify it. I did it and I’ll take the consequences. What I don’t want to happen is for this thing to drag out while the union and department wrangle their own agenda.”

Brady opened them all another beer and passed them around. “Let me ask you a dumb question. Do you like being a sheriff’s deputy?”

“It’s fine.”

Brody tipped his bottle back and laughed. “Which means you hate it.”

“I don’t hate it. It’s not all that challenging, and I find myself bored out of my mind. I figure that would be true of almost any job I took. Years spent on direct action missions make a lot of things dull.”

Brady stretched his leg up on the table and cringed. “If I don’t heal up well enough to go back to HRT, I plan on going to work for a buddy of mine who has a threat response company. It’s called Trident Response Group, and they provide risk mitigation services and executive protection. They also do a lot of investigations for companies and personnel. It was started by a bunch of guys who came out of special operations.” Lifting his beer in the direction of his brother, he grinned. “It might be a good option for you if you decide to leave the sheriff’s department.”

“Or they decide I should leave,” Brock added. “Sounds interesting. It may end up being a better fit for me and my skills.”

Brody slapped his knee. “Give us a couple of hours and we can solve just about anything.”

“It’s been too damn long since we’ve been together. I’m looking forward to spending time at home,” Brady added. “I haven’t seen Poppy in a couple of years, and it would be good to catch up with her.”

“Yeah, that’s what you’re interested in doing,” Brock said. “Catching up.” When his brother flipped him off, he laughed. It felt good. While Brody filled them in on the projects he was working on, he thought about Lilly and how much he missed her. The last thing he wanted to do was sleep without her, but he wanted to make sure when he crawled back into her bed it was for good. And before he could do that, he needed to figure his shit out. She deserved a good man, and he had to make sure he was one.

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