Page 46 of Irresistible

“Why is he growling at me?”

“Don’t know. Seems he doesn’t trust you and he’s letting you know.”

Holding up the pink box, he gave her a small smile. “Can I come in? I was hoping we could talk.”

“All right.” Stepping back, she let him walk past and decided to ignore how wonderful he smelled. There was a lot she was going to ignore because it wasn’t going to help her make a smart decision. Hormones never helped in that area, and unfortunately, Brock made hers sing. For now, she was going to dismiss the song.

As she walked into the kitchen, she noticed the large bag he placed on the island. “What’s that?”

“It’s the cameras for your security system. The equipment came in over the weekend, and I wanted to install it.”

“Not necessary.” She walked over to the coffeepot and poured two cups. “TRG is handling security for me. They are coming by this afternoon to finish the installation.”

She handed him the cup of coffee, then walked over to the dining room table and sat. Brock looked madder than an alligator who was denied his dinner. Whatever. Wasn’t her problem. The coffee hit her stomach like a ton of bricks, and she realized that rage and caffeine were a lousy mix.

Yeah, she was definitely mad. No two ways about it. It might be because she thought she could count on him and it turned out she couldn’t. At least, not in the way she needed most. Which made her think of a book she’d read, The Five Love Languages. Clearly, they didn’t speak the same one. The thing she’d needed from him over the last couple of days was his presence. And that wasn’t what he had to give.

Slapping herself mentally upside the head, she felt a river of anger flow out of her body. Just because she wanted it didn’t mean he had it to give. Which meant she was simply shopping in the wrong store for love. Looking up at him, she realized he was a lot of things. Brave, courageous, fearless and, by the looks of it, scared out of his mind.

Maybe what they had was a lifelong friendship and nothing more. Which, after all, was a very good thing indeed. So what if they got confused and added sex? It happened to people all the time. If they were lucky, eventually they would salvage something from what they had going on. After she knitted that story together, she felt much better. “So, why did you stop by?”

“Are you really asking me that?”

“Yes. I. Am.”

“Okay, maybe I deserve that after disappearing for several days. I had to get my head screwed on straight before I tried to have this conversation, and it took me a little longer than I expected.”

Clamping her mouth closed, she decided not to ask a thousand questions. Let him talk. Let him show her what he wanted. By the looks of it, he wasn’t really sure and was suffering for it. Popcorn laid his head on her knee, and she petted him quietly while Brock got himself together.

“I’ve spoken with Loren every day,” he said, “and she’s kept me up to date on how you’re doing.”

Oh, here came that river of anger flowing right back. He couldn’t call her and check in? Breathe in and breathe out. “Uh-huh.”

“I should just spit it out.”

“Excellent idea,” she responded evenly.

“I might not be good enough for you.”

Looking up, she studied his face. What in the hell was he talking about? “Why do you think that?”

“I got close to killing Drew the other day, and it seems the warrior side of me accompanied me home. I’m not confident that the trained killer the Marines made me into is under control. We’ve talked about the seven deadly sins a couple of times, and I know that I’m guilty of wrath. Wrath towards a man who hurt the person I love most in the world. I don’t want that anywhere near you.”

She ran her finger over the rim of her cup and watched him walk over and sit down. “I think people don’t know what they’re capable of until they’re tested,” she said. “Most of our opinions about ourselves never have to be verified, because we’re not put in a situation where they would be. How often are people faced with the very choice that will test everything they believe themselves capable of? How many people fail when confronted? From my perspective, you were tested and made the right choice.”

“Barely.”

“I didn’t know there was a measuring stick for that sort of thing. Like, one to five percent means you failed, and anything over that means you’re in the clear? What a load of crap.”

“I’m not comfortable with not knowing for sure,” he responded.

That’s when she felt the steel rod snap into place. Her spine was as solid as it could be, and she wasn’t going to do the dance again. “That is your decision.” Sweeping her hair off her face, she gave him a small smile. “I love you because I’ve seen all of you. I know what I’m getting into. But maybe that’s not true for you. Quite frankly, it’s a little disappointing that you’re holding yourself to such an impossible standard. Makes me think you might hold me to it as well. And if that’s the case, I politely decline. I’m a flawed human being and make mistakes every day. Some of them are real humdingers, too. If you expect perfection out of yourself, you may expect it out of me too. I’ve got no interest in that. I live a messy life and I’m guessing that might make you really uncomfortable. Hell, I know it does. You disappeared for four days, so I guess I have my answer.”

“That’s not what’s happening!” he yelled.

“Then tell me what is. From my vantage point, you got curious about an old infatuation and wanted to see if anything would come of it. You seduced me, and it worked. Truth be told, you barely had to put any effort into it. Seems I was curious too. So what…we scratched an itch. End of story.”

“It wasn’t an itch, Lilly.”

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