Page 19 of Thrust into the Light

It doesn’t sound like what he said. I try repeatedly, and each time I get it wrong, Connor says it again for me until I can say it right.

“So now I want you to think about something you feel drawn to, something that feels like it just keeps pulling you back to it, no matter how far you go away from it. And then I want you to tell me about it later today. Make sure you use your new word when you tell me about it. Now, for the other part of the night, I’m not sure if you know your letters, so we are going to practice writing them. This is the letter F. Follow the arrows on the paper with this pencil. It will show you how to write the letter.”

I don’t know how long we sit here trying to write the letters like the papers show. I am starting to get tired again. My eyes feel very heavy.

“We can stop really soon sweetheart, you’ve almost got the N down. You can do it. Follow the arrows on the paper. Almostdone, there we go. Look, if we combine all the letters, F-a-r-l-e-n it spells your name. You wrote your name.”

The sky is getting brighter behind him and the light coming through the window seems to surround Connor. It makes him seem like he is shining. Connor stands up, grabs my hand, and leads me to my sleep room. He waits with me while I get comfortable, then pulls my blankets on top of me. He bends down near the top of my head and I feel his hot breath on my head.

“Sweet dreams, sweet girl. If you need me, you know where my room is. No need to knock. Just come get me if you need anything.”

19

Connor

This is the last day I get Farlen to myself. She has been coming out of her shell more and more. She’s been more talkative and has been working hard at getting her letters down. Her writing has improved in the last few days. It still borders on the line of illegibility, but it’s getting more defined each time she practices. At her current rate, it should be legible in a few weeks.

Her words of the day, I swear, are a work of the Gods. Each day has been more and more of a push towards what we are. I know she knows we are a match, but I don’t think she understands what it is. I am not sure if I am the right person to describe it to her, though. I am equally hoping and dreading she finds another match soon once school starts. Hoping because it would give her someone else to look out for her, and if it is someone who is in the academy with her, would give someone to look after her while I can’t be there. Dreading it because it means she will be spreading her time between us, and I’ve gotten used to being the only one she spends time with. Even as I think about it, I feel selfish. She has six other matches out there, six other pieces of her soul waiting to connect with her, to help complete her in ways I can’t. I should want that for her. It’s just hard to see how far she has come with me, to see how trusting of me she is becoming, to let her get into a position where she could be hurt. Not all males are happy with their match and can reject them. It isn’t often done, because it causes immeasurable pain to eachof them. But some guys are so superficial, only seeing the beauty that is skin deep and not the beauty that radiates from Farlen.

When she walked out of my room naked, I almost had a heart attack. I know I was told the scars cover all of her body, but I figured some places were untouched. From everything I saw of her because I couldn’t look away, there isn’t a single inch of skin that isn’t marred by scars. There are even parts of her that have scars on top of more scars. She is so fucking strong for having endured all of that, and to come out the other side.

We have gotten into a nice little routine these last few days; she wakes up and goes and soaks in her tub, while I order some food for us. I always include bacon for breakfast. She makes the softest little moans when she eats it. It has become my favorite sound in the world. After her bath, and she gets dressed, I put on her deodorant for her. I can’t stand the thought of her doing it to herself. The first time she did it, I could have sworn I saw some of her skin start to come loose. Once that’s done, we come out and eat breakfast. All the while, I am fighting my growing need for her. Then she tells me about her word for the day and how she decided to use it in a sentence. Her first was about gravitate, and her sentence was “I gravitate to my bed.” The second word was love, and she says, “I love bacon.” Which I had already figured out by now, but to hear her be able to state it so proudly made me happy for her. Today her word is soulmate. Like I said, I swear the Gods have a role in helping her choose her words, because this shit feels cosmic.

This morning, she seems like she is deep in her thoughts. She has kept her head down all morning, and not many sexy little moans emerge from her while she eats her bacon. It’s a task of self-control not to open myself up to her thoughts. She needs to have some privacy from me, even though it drives me insane not to know what she is thinking all the time. A look of determination crosses her face, and she stands up and grabs the dictionary. She hands it to me and says, “Read soulmate.” Not sure where this is going, I open to the page we have bookmarked and quickly find the definition of soulmate again.

“The definition of soulmate is a person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values and tastes, and often a romantic bond, or someone who shares a part of one’s being, a person designed by the Gods to fill up a part, the other didn’t know was missing.”

She nods her head to me, and for the first time since she woke up, looks up at me. Her big white eyes have what looks like the beginning of tears in them, and say the four words that rock my fucking world.

“Are you my soulmate?”

20

Farlen

Ever since Connor read the meaning of soulmate to me, all I could think was it describing him. He makes everything feel so much better when he is around, kind of like what he said. I found a part that I didn’t know was missing. I couldn’t really think of any other thing but that fact. I was afraid he was going to be mad at me when I asked that. But Connor never gets mad at me. He just smiled at me. I think it was the biggest smile I’ve ever seen from him.

“Yes, sweet girl, I am one of your soulmates. You are still missing six other pieces out there in the world, and we will find them together. I know you’ve heard people say we share a match bond, and I know you had your blood tested for it, but do you know what it means?” I shake my head at him. “When the Gods blessed the supernaturals with matches, it was something rare at first. People went their entire lives, and we can live long lives without finding their matches. Scientists studied people with and without matches for a long time, and then the plague struck that nearly wiped out all the female population. No one knows where it came from, and it didn’t discriminate between human or supernatural females.”

“Once it finally died out, there were about three billion males still on the planet, and only about sixty thousand females left. The human population, not having the same restrictions as we do, could repopulate faster. Supernaturals began to panic, andthey started giving more money towards the testing of the match bonds. Not long after, they figured out that something inside our very genetic makeup shows markers that match another. At first it was just called ‘the bond’ and those with more than one bond were called a ‘center’, but as more and more blood underwent the tests, even those who had been with their bond for a long time, found out that they had other bonds out there, more people whose very genetic makeup, matched their own. As soon as they met, the bond between them formed. Proof that it was, in fact, showing who their match was supposed to be. The older generation still calls it a bond, and the newer generation calls it a match. So what it all means, sweet girl, is we were always supposed to find each other, because we were always supposed to be together. I am sorry it took me so long to find you, and I wish I could have sooner.”

I don’t know my numbers well, which Connor figured out and has been helping me try to learn, but those seem like a big difference between the numbers. He’s been trying to not read my thoughts as much anymore and makes me talk to him. It’s been getting easier, but it still feels very weird to me.

“How did humans repopulate?”

His cheeks go red and he coughs.

“Sweetheart, that is something we will have to talk about at another time. Hopefully, with all of your other matches here, okay?”

I nod. Maybe it is something they all have to tell me? I trust Connor. It feels nice to trust someone. My body feels like it reacts all on its own, and moves over to Connor, giving him a big hug. He wraps his enormous arms around me, hugging me back. We stand there like that for a while. It always feels nice to be next to him like this, like he can shield me from the pain and darkness that I’ve always been in. I feel his hot breath on the top of my head again, but can’t feel what he is doing, and he lets me out of his arms.

“Alright sweet girl, let’s work on more letters. You’ve gotten a lot better at writing your name, and I want you to keeppracticing it. I also set out more letters for you to practice writing together. You know the sounds all the letters make now. So once you write them all next to each other, try to tell me what it says. This is going to be our own private little school while you attend the academy.”

I sit down and work on writing my name some more. It is hard to hold the pencil as he keeps telling me to, especially when I can’t feel it, but I keep trying. I think I have my name written down better, and show him. He smiles at me and hands me more paper with some new letters on it. It takes me a while to try to write them. Some of them are the same in my name, so it is a little easier to write. When I think I have it done, I start trying to say them, not in my head because he can’t help me if I mess up part of it up.

“C-c-coooooonorr?”

“Try again, Farlen. Say it a little faster. You’re on the right track with it.”

---