Page 11 of Considering Us

“Well, I am super into this sandwich. I could eat five of them,” he said. “Yeah, Andrea talks. So, anyway, Cora was an English teacher here. Once again, I was all in. We got married, had a baby girl, and lived a pretty good life here for a while. At least, I thought so. And then she became best friends with Ryland Dennis last school year, and everything fell apart.”

“The guy who I met at apple picking? Oh, that’s why you couldn’t sit on a bus with him. Did they have an affair? He’s kinda gross.”

“I have no actual proof,” he said, grabbing a second sandwich. “Yeah, nasty, right? They both denied it, just said they were emotional soulmates, whatever the fuck that means. But she became convinced through their friendship that she and I were no longer compatible and that I wasn’t supportive of Annie—that’s our daughter—and her dream of performing on stage, so she filed for divorce and moved to Boston. And Ryland is still here. The former Head of School—before she left in disgrace—drew up this ridiculous contract with HR. I swear it’s like something fromThe Office. Ryland and I aren’t allowed to be within a certain proximity of each other, so that makes faculty meetings interesting. I also have a letter in my file with a big warning about contact with him. But I know they don’t want to fire me unless I do something colossally stupid. Most of the kids and their parents love me, and we have a killer soccer team. So, I have that going for me.”

I pulled out the container of cookies that Andrea had discovered the day before. I felt like he needed one. “I’m surprised you didn’t kick his ass,” I said, offering him a cookie. “You have an intensity about you, as you may have realized.”

“I went about my revenge in other ways,” he said, chomping on a cookie. “So, so good, Devon. Love these. Yeah, I sent a stripper to an English Department meeting for him. She was dressed as a librarian. It took a while for anyone to realize whatwas going on in the meeting, and Cora hadn’t left for Boston yet and was there, and things got ugly fast. She threatened to take full custody of Annie after that, so I had to tone it down.”

I felt my eyes widen at Kyle’s story. “Wow, that’s extreme. Very creative, though, I must say. Glad you like the cookies. I’ll make them this week in the dining hall to try to win over some students.”

“And the staff. This will help most definitely. Anyway, I’ve learned a lot about myself throughout these fifteen years, Devon. I want you to know that about me. I realize that anything I do, I’m one hundred percent in. Maybe it’s more like one hundred ten percent. It was good for playing soccer when I was younger. Coaching now, too. Super focused, eyes on the prize, all in. Not sure how great it was not for driving a spouse crazy. Or parenting a kid who is into something I don’t totally understand. I’m working on that, too.”

I began mixing another batch of drinks. “At least you know this about yourself. That is, shall I say, more introspection than I’ve heard from most men.”

“I went through a bunch of therapy when Cora left. Used every single visit available to me through the Employee Assistance Program. I’ve got all kinds of insight now.”

“So, what’s the verdict? How do you not drive a future romantic partner away with this, um, intensity?”

“My therapist said to lay it all out there early on. This is me, working every day to channel all this energy for good.” He looked into my eyes for a solid five seconds. I felt all the feelings throughout my body.Allof them. He pushed his disheveled hair off his forehead and smiled as if he knew the effect he was having on me. I was trying to keep it together the best I could, but I had no idea what my face looked like. “You know, just in case you’re still considering us,” he said with a wink.

I couldn’t. Not yet. It was too much, too soon, and there was too much damage and complexity between us. “Look, I sometimes make terrible decisions,” I explained, trying to snap back into a normal state of being. “You need to know that about me. You probably saw me on TV.”

“I don’t watch much TV, other than episodes ofThe Officeand sports,” he said. “I do spend way too much time, however, online. Hence, all the Googling. I know what happened, Devon. It’s okay. Things happen.”

“They do,” I said. “And there is a lot going on right now for both of us, and I think we need some time. We obviously had a very strong connection years ago, and I’ve really enjoyed talking to you tonight. For now, I want to be friends with you. Get to know you for real this time. As an adult. I could use a friend here.”

Kyle nodded. “I can’t help but think the stars were aligned for us to reconnect here at this stage of life, and I’m not going to lie, I find you very attractive. You’re smart and sexy, just like you were fifteen years ago. Like I said before, I’m laying things out there. But I respect you and want to be your friend, too.” He took a sip of the fresh drink I put in front of him. “Is it because you find me annoying?” he asked somewhat sheepishly.

“No,” I answered, shaking my head. “I mean, you talk a lot, but it’s not annoying. Not yet, anyway. Maybe I’ll change my mind about that.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Okay, cool. I think I really annoyed Cora after a while. Thinking you actually might be dodging a bullet here,” he said with another wink. Then I saw a bright flash, and Kyle ran to the window by the fire escape. He flung open the window, and I rushed over to see what was going on. Kyle yelled, “I see you! You’re going to fail my class this year!” He shut the window, and I backed away quickly so no one else could see me, even though I lived there.

“Who was that?” I asked, not expecting people to be sneaking up the fire escape to take my picture.

“Probably some kid fromThe Underground Stallionlooking for dirt.”

“Andrea showed me a copy of the scandal with the old head of school. Who are these kids?”

“They were all over my separation and divorce, too. No one knows for sure, but I have my suspicions.”

“Ashlyn?”

“Likely, or at least some of her minions. I’d get some curtains for that window, Dev,” he said. “I should probably leave before it gets too late and they pull the fire alarm to get us to walk out of the building together.” I shuddered, realizing the possibilities of total embarrassment. “Thanks for dinner. Best night I’ve had in a long time,” he said as he let himself out and headed down the Wentworth stairs.

I cleaned up our dishes and let everything from the evening sink in.Kyle was back.I felt a strong attraction to him in so many ways; he still looked great. I loved talking to him, and I knew that physically we had once clicked. It would be easy to jump into some kind of relationship with him, but it was also so complicated given the living and working situation we were in.And I haven’t even started working here yet,I thought as I started the dishwasher. Plus, he had so much baggage, both past and recent, to work through. I did not want to be his rebound or easy fix. Time would tell, but friendship—for the time being, anyway—seemed like the right answer.

It was dark outside, and I could hear the soft chimes that I read about in my staff handbook that sounded each night at ten o’clock, signaling quiet hours. There was something nice about a ritual and a cadence to my days. The past few years had been hectic and at the whims of others, and life at Rockwood might bemore structured and predictable. I could handle that for a year or so.

I was about to shut off the kitchen light and retire to the bedroom when I heard a knock on the window by the fire escape. Kyle’s face was peering at me, lit by the flashlight on his phone. I opened the window. “I thought I said we were going to try to be friends. No late-night booty calls,” I teased.

“Shh,” he said. “I promise you I’m trusting the process here. But I remembered something else you told me from fifteen years ago.” He handed me a plastic bag and headed back down the fire escape. I looked inside the bag and saw it. It was a hand packed pint from Georgy Porgy’s Ice Cream, the stand right outside Rockwood’s gates. Vanilla Toffee, my absolute favorite.

7

The first few days on the job were hard. I tried to ease into the role, working with the staff to see what they had in stock and what they needed while figuring out what the hell to actually cook for the students. We kept running out of things and improvising, and when Andrea stopped by, I found myself buckling. “I have no idea what I am doing,” I admitted. “If you want to fire me now and find someone else, you might be better off.” I knew she would probably tell everyone else on staff at Rockwood what I had said, but I didn’t care. I was sweaty, exhausted, and completely bummed out.

“That makes two of us,” she said in her usual cheery, up-tempo voice, pulling up a stool from the corner of the kitchen and sitting down. “I feel like I’ll never know what I’m doing in my job here. But you’re serving food that’s not in a cardboard box, so that’s a great first step.” She looked around and saw Marnie, the former interim Dining Director, glaring at her from across the kitchen. “Oops,” she said, chuckling softly. “How are things with her?” she whispered. “Is she pissed you took over?”

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