Page 23 of Considering Us

“There’s no way that dude smells bad. He looks like an Axe commercial. But gross habits … lots of guys have those. I’m hoping for something super nasty. Maybe he’ll pop a zit at the table right in front of you. But I’m guessing he’s too good-looking to have zits.”

“Or he’ll reach over and pop one of mine,” I joked. “I get plenty of them from working in the kitchen. You’re fixated on his looks, you do realize.”

“The guy’s like a male Barbie doll.”

“That’s a Ken,” I said. “And you’re a very attractive guy since I think you’re looking for some kind of compliment or reassurance. There’s a reason I started talking to you over watermelon at that dinner, you know. Also, now that I think about it, why were they serving us watermelon in January? Where was this watermelon coming from? I guess I think about these things now that I’m on the other side of the buffet line. Notice it’s not January yet, and I’m still not serving watermelon.”

“You sure you weren’t just looking for a fling before DC, knowing that the guys there wouldn’t be so interesting?” he joked, finishing his drink. I had a feeling there would be several, given where this conversation seemed to be going.

“I had no idea at the time that I wouldn’t ultimately be attracted to wannabe lobbyists and congressional staffers,” I conceded. “And no, I wasn’t looking for anything. I thought you were cute and interesting and had a lot to say.”

“Because I talk too much,” he admitted, signaling to the bartender that he wanted another beverage.

“Not too much,” I said carefully. “You are a skilled conversationalist. And I enjoyed that. Among other things.” I almost regretted that last line.

“It was a fun night,” he said. “We didn’t really sleep. And then we went to breakfast, and I remember eating a lot of bacon.”

“So much bacon!” I said, remembering the heaping plate we shared, every salty last bite. “And then I had to leave, and that felt weird. I didn’t know how to say goodbye to you.”

“You kissed me really quickly, I think,” he said, swirling the ice around in his glass, not making eye contact.

“I did,” I said, thinking about it. Part of me wanted to lean over at that moment and do it again. Just a quick kiss to see if it felt the same. It would have been so self-centered of me to put Kyle in that position given all our conversations, the fact that I was going out with Heath the next day, and because there were likely a few Rockwood eyes on us. Enough people already suspected that something was up between us, despite me telling them regularly that we were just old friends. I decided to stay put and not lunge at him, but it wasn’t an easy choice.

He downed the remains in his glass and looked around. I followed his glance, and there were, indeed, several young teachers looking at us. We both waved at them, and Kyle asked me, “You want to go take a walk? Might be good to get out of here.”

We walked through the streets of Portsmouth, buzzing with Friday night socializing and merriment. I told him the story of Adrienne and Ward Connelly, as well as my interactions with Bentley and Julianna. He filled me in on his classes, how the soccer team was doing, and his attempts to keep things as normal as possible with Annie and Cora, given the circumstances. “Cora has a new boyfriend,” he told me. “He’s a lawyer named Gill. And I’m okay with it. Really. I don’t knowwhy, but for some reason, I’m not at all jealous. I’m actually kinda happy for her.”

“That’s good, Kyle,” I said. “You must be shifting into a new phase of all this.”

“Maybe,” he said. “I haven’t met the shithead yet, so we’ll see how I feel then,” he said with a laugh, lightly bumping into me for a moment.

“Right, right, you never know. Should we walk back over the bridge to St. George’s?”

“Sure,” he said. “Not much longer for these kinds of walks. It’ll get cold soon.”

“I’m hoping for a mild winter,” I replied, happy to only be wearing a light jacket. The thought of my puffy coat and big boots was not appealing. “But I know that’s rare.”

“Remember how nice out it was that night at Norwell? When we walked around the Loch a million times?”

I thought back to the path that circled Lake MacGavin and how, on that particular January night, it was free of snow and was comfortable to stroll along in just fleece jackets and sneakers. I could almost feel Kyle’s hand in mine as I remembered how we walked and talked and got to know each other—over fifteen years earlier. I recalled how we had finally stopped walking and stood facing each other, then held onto both of each other’s hands. How our faces had moved toward each other and how our lips met for the very first time. I felt blood rush through my body, and my face flushed just thinking about it.

“You okay, Dev?”

“Oh, yeah, totally. Let’s go see what’s going on with the sculpture. I wonder if Andrea’s keeping security there all night.” I had to try to clear those thoughts out of my head.

Sure enough, there were two security guards sitting in a golf cart next to the sculpture. Ashlyn Lark was talking to them,along with one of her followers, a small, shy girl named Jessica. I felt sorry for anyone who was caught up in Ashlyn’s whole situation. Who knew what she was pressured into doing? The whole thing gave me too many flashbacks to mean girls in high school.

“Oh, look who it is?” Ashlyn asked, almost purring. “Mr. Holling, I am going to work all weekend on that paper. I can’t wait to learn everything I can about the Guilty Age.” Jessica elbowed her and whispered something to her. “I mean, the Gilded Age. Of course. Did you know that I am related to the Rockefellers?”

Kyle nodded and scrunched up his face. “That’s fascinating. I’m sure it’ll be a wonderful paper. But Ashlyn, would you like some advice?”

“Always, Mr. Holling.”

“Be sure to include horizontal integration, muckraking, and Ida Tarbell if you’re going to talk about Rockefeller. Also, the gospel of wealth. Like we talked about in class.”

Ashlyn looked blankly at Kyle. “Oh, right,” she said. “Definitely.”

“It’s almost curfew. You two should go to your dorms,” Kyle said, and we walked away from them toward the quad. Once we were far enough away that they thought we were out of earshot, I heard Ashlyn ask Jessica, “What was he talking about?”

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