Page 26 of Considering Us

My entire body ached at the thought of Kyle in pain. No matter what he had done fifteen years earlier, I never wanted to inflict suffering on him, and I knew that was exactly what I was doing. I had grown to care about him more than I had realized, which made all of this so confusing. “I am sure,” I said. “And I feel awful about it. Which is why I’m thinking about canceling on Heath.”

“Ehh, I don’t know aboutthat,” she said. “One date can’t hurt. Maybe keep it PG and see how you feel about him, not just what your hormones tell you. But what do I know? Professor Plum is both hot and smart, and I have no self-control around him. I don’t have any business telling anyone what to do.”

“I need to meet him soon. We need to make this happen.” I smiled at the thought of Tam finally settling into a happy relationship. He must be a good one.

“You bet,” she said. “Double date, perhaps. With the hot paramedic, or with Kyle, or some guy you meet in line for ice cream. Whatever. Whoever.”

“Sounds good,” I said, saying goodbye and wandering toward my closet. How does one dress for a Saturday afternoon date in October when you have no idea what you’re doing? Or whether you should be going at all?

Eventually, I settled on jeans and a more form-fitting flannel shirt with a lightweight fleece vest. I looked like I had walked out of an L.L. Bean ad. I just needed a golden retriever puppy and a thermos of hot chocolate, and I’d be all set. I met Heath in the parking area adjacent to the dorm and quickly hopped into the front seat of his truck, hoping not many people saw me.

“Hi,” he said with a huge, gorgeous smile. I had made the right decision to go on the date. All thoughts of Kyle briefly flew out of my head. “You look very fall-like. Super cute. I like it.”

“Why, thank you,” I said. “And you, well, you also look great.” He did. He was wearing dark-wash jeans and a waffle-knit long-sleeve, charcoal gray shirt that skimmed over his well-muscled physique perfectly. I caught the light scent of some kind of product, and it smelled like he had spent time walking through woodsy paths full of pines. Maybe it was just his deodorant. But it was good. “Sorry about these crowds. We had a controversial unveiling of a new art installation last night. The local community and some of the students aren’t very happy with it.”

“I heard about it early this morning,” he said. “We got an email in case things got out of hand here. I’m glad I have today off. I’d much rather spend it with you doing something fun than potentially deal with angry protestors.”

My stomach did a flip-flop. “Same,” I said with a smile. “And I mean, really, what could I do to help? Bring them cookies? My cookies are good, but I’m not sure how much they would help in this situation.”

“You never know,” he said, backing out of his parking space and heading slowly down the main road out of campus and away from the growing crowd of disgruntled people. “Cookies might solve all the world’s problems. Maybe tomorrow. Let’s go have fun.”

We headed south on 1A through Rye and into Hampton Beach. Fall had settled in, and many businesses had signs up announcing that this was their last weekend of the season. It all reminded me a bit of Old Orchard Beach, which was a couple of towns north of where I had grown up in Maine. Motels, seafood shacks, beach shops, arcades, bars, lots of salt and sand. I had been to Hampton a couple of times during college, but it had been many years. Heath pulled into a parking spot adjacent to a mini golf course.

“How about it?” he asked after shifting the truck into park and turning toward me with that huge smile. I think I would have said yes to most things.

“Mini golf? Okay. I haven’t played since probably college. I’m going to be terrible.”

“Really? You need to get back into it then. It’s, like, one of my favorite things to do in the summer,” he said.

Huh. Mini golf?“Well, then let’s go,” I said, trying to keep my voice upbeat. I didn’t know what I had expected from this date.

“What do you like to do?” he asked as we picked out our clubs from the rack inside the hut where he had paid our admission fee. There was hardly anyone at the course, and the whole thing felt a little odd. Part of me wanted to be back at Rockwood, taking a walk around the campus and feeling the leaves shatter under my feet. I would say hi to people and be able to scootaway easily when I was ready to move on. Part of me felt like I was becoming a loner and kept everyone—except Kyle, who was mad at me—at arm’s length. It probably wasn’t healthy. I took a breath and looked up at Heath, who was so darn cute and seemed eager to know me. I needed to at least try.

“These days, I’m pretty busy on campus. I’m still learning the job, and then new things keep getting thrown at me. I had to put together the reception yesterday for the art opening with only a few days’ notice. I’m supposed to meet with the Head of School on Monday to talk about something called Midsy. It’s a prank night, I guess, that the school has tried to rebrand. But I’m sure I’ll be expected to feed people.”

Heath set down his green golf ball at the first hole and effortlessly putted it into the hole. “Oh, I know all about Midsy. That’s a shitshow,” he said with a laugh.

“A hole in one? You took me here so you could make me look bad?” I asked, half-joking.

“Not at all, Devon,” he said with a smile and put his arm around me for a second. It felt good, so I tried to relax. “I just thought we could do something fun. But if this sucks, let’s go do something else. I’m up for anything.”

“No, no,” I insisted, my stubborn side peeking out. “I’m not one to give up. I still might kick your ass,” I said, lining up my shot. I made it in two, which was still a birdie. Not bad, considering I probably hadn’t played mini golf in at least fifteen years.

“That’s the spirit!” he said as we walked a few steps to the next hole.

“So, please, tell me why Midsy’s such a shitshow. Does the fire department get called to campus?”

“Depends on the year,” he said, continuing his streak of greatness with every putt. “See, it took me two shots that time. But yeah, sometimes we have to go, other times it’s the police,some years all of us. A hot tub was constructed on the porch of your dorm one year. Then it seeped into the basement and was such a mess. Plus, they had put a keg in the middle of it, which crashed through the boards, and everything had to be rebuilt.”

I shook my head as I got ready to putt again. “A keg in a makeshift hot tub? I have no idea how students could get away with that. We have security everywhere.”

“That’s fairly new,” he said. “It used to be there was just one old guy patrolling the campus overnight with a flashlight and a walkie-talkie. Now there are three old guys and a golf cart,” he added with a laugh.

“Yeah, so I don’t have much of a life these days,” I continued, laying it all out there.I might as well. I’m thirty-five and playing mini golf in fifty-five degrees with a paramedic who appears to be a putting prodigy.Heath sunk another hole-in-one, and I didn’t flinch. “My best friend is in Boston. She’s a news reporter and anchor. And I still go down there once a week to deliver food to a client. He’s a professional athlete,” I added, wondering if it would solicit any reaction. I found myself struggling to find things to talk about, and I realized I hadn’t done anything like this in so long. The last guy I had been involved with had been Bentley Preston, which was not a typical situation. Since then, I’d just been hanging out with Kyle. It was like I didn’t know how to be “normal” anymore, whatever that was.

“That’s cool,” he said, perking up beyond his already enthusiastic personality. “Can you tell me who it is? I’m way into Boston sports.”

“I am so glad this is the last hole,” I said, more to myself than to Heath. I putted the ball, and it plopped right into the dragon’s mouth, ending my game. “Finally!” I exclaimed. Heath high-fived me, and we turned in our clubs. “It’s David Anders,” I said. “You know who he is?”

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