Page 31 of Considering Us

“Well, good morning,” she grumbled. I heard a male voice in the background asking who it was.

“I’m so sorry,” I said. It was a Saturday morning. Some people sleep in. Apparently, Tam didn’t have to be at work, and Professor Plum probably never was needed by anyone early on a weekend morning. “Can you come up here one night this week? I mean, I don’t know which night yet. Heath needs to let me know. But I want you to meet him.”

“Okay, okay, we can figure it out,” she murmured. “Is everything okay? Are you on the verge of marrying him or something? Are you pregnant, Dev?”

“No, not at all. None of the above. I have some kind of mental block toward him. I’m avoiding intimacy with him. And you know me, I’m not one to shy away from things.”

“You were caught in a closet with a married man by his teenage daughter. No, you’re not one to shy away. Isn’t this guy like super hot? Sorry, E.”

“Professor Plum’s name is E? What does that mean?”

“It’s Ellis. I never told you that? He’s going to be horribly offended now.”

“Does he know we call him Professor Plum?”

“Yes, I told him that on our second date. I decided honesty was an important foundation for a relationship. He rolls his eyes, but he’s accepted it.”

“So, it’s okay for me to call him Professor Plum.”

“Yes, Devon, you may. Okay, I will give you two more minutes. I am neglecting this man next to me now that we are both awake much earlier than either of us ever intended. What do you think the issue is?”

I sighed. “I think I feel guilty about Kyle. But I’m trying to figure out if it’s that or something about my chemistry with Heath—because that would be ridiculous. And to answer your original question, heissuper hot.”

“Okay, Dev. You let me know your schedule, and I’ll figure this out. Can Profes—, I mean Ellis, come, too? It might behelpful to have an outsider perspective, plus I really want you to meet him.”

“I’d love it. Get back to, well, whatever. Thanks, Tam.”

“Anytime, love.”

...

We got through the formal dinner. My go-to (and Adrienne’s favorite) Chicken Milanese, a silky fettuccine alfredo for the vegetarians, and a vegan-friendly stuffed spaghetti squash rounded out the entrées. My team pulled out all the stops, even as Marnie grumbled through the list of dietary restrictions of our students to ensure that everyone had something absolutely delicious to eat that night. “It wasn’t like this ten years ago,” she muttered as she inspected the label of the vegetable stock I had left for her at her prep station.

“We can make our own veggie stock next time if you’d prefer,” I said. “It’s not hard, and it’s quite tasty, but it’ll take a few hours.” She didn’t say anything in return.

After dinner, as Andrea had specified, students went to the auditorium to begin their travels through the various performances. Each of the entertainment stations had a dessert and beverage table. Given the fact that students would be ingesting food for hours–which made me nervous from a purely biological standpoint—I decided to make all bite-sized desserts. The auditorium where the improv troupe kicked things off featured tiny eclairs, mini cannoli, and itty-bitty crème brûlées, along with lemonade and bottled water. As my team prepared for the late-night breakfast with karaoke, I staffed the table to ensure all went well and, as Andrea had requested, that students weren’t spiking the lemonade with vodka.

“What do I do if I see them do that?” I had asked.

“I don’t know,” she had admitted. “Maybe confiscate it? I’ll be there. Bring the student to me.” I had the impression she had no idea what she would then do with the kid, but I left it at that.

The improv troupe went through a number of skits and brought a few random students onto the stage to participate, and to Andrea’s delight, got many laughs from the audience. Their final skit was called “The Staff of Rockwood,” and once I saw a female student come onto the stage in a chef’s hat, I knew I was in trouble.

“Guess who I am?” asked the student to the crowd.

“Chef!” “It’s her!” “The cook lady.” “Devon Paige!” Several students turned to point at me, and my entire body felt like it was on fire.

A male student walked out on the stage, dribbling a soccer ball. He was wearing ripped jeans and a Counting Crows t-shirt, and his hair was a mess. I had to give these kids credit; they were way too clever. “Who am I?” he asked.

“Kyle Holling!” “Coach Holling! “Mr. Holling!” I looked around and didn’t see Kyle in the crowd, luckily. I hadn’t seen him anywhere on campus since the kiss incident, but I knew he was still teaching his classes. Word was he was a mess in terms of his appearance and barely managed to get through his lessons, but he was showing up. I had wanted to reach out and see if he would talk to me, but I had to get through Midsy first. I was glad he wasn’t seeing this.

I caught Andrea’s eye from across the room, and she must have noticed the desperation on my face. “Look at the time!” she announced in her best Head of School voice. “We do need to keep to a schedule tonight. Please move to the gym, where we have three delightful a cappella songs awaiting us. And a huge round of applause to our very talented improv troupe!”

I sent thank you vibes in her direction and scooted ahead of the students to make it to the gym to relieve my staff, whowere setting up the mini cupcake and sparkling cider station. We even had plastic champagne flutes for the cider, which was quite cute. There was an all-female singing group, followed by an all-male, and then the coed group singing, as Andrea had promised, “Coconut.” They called themselves the Ponies, and they were by far the most creative of the three, “riding” out onto the gym floor on hobby horses. One student even juggled coconuts during the song. And best of all, there were no references to Kyle or me in any songs.

The last station before we returned to the dining hall was in the outdoor amphitheater for the faculty rock band. Andrea had yelled at everyone as they were leaving the gym to be sure to grab their coats but also to make sure they were in the amphitheater for attendance in ten minutes, which I knew was not going to happen. Half the students didn’t get their jackets for fear of missing the roster check, and the other half who did go back to their dorms were late. I did my best to get hot chocolate to those who appeared cold, but this situation was mostly beyond my control. I heard Ryland Dennis’ voice through the speakers and wanted to gag.

“Hey, Stallions! We are the faculty rock band. We’re still trying to figure out a name, so if you have any ideas, please let us know!”

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