Page 6 of Considering Us

Speechless, I started my car and headed back to Boston. When I turned on the radio, Oasis was playing.

4

“How did I somehow end up packing your bathroom for you? And all your clothes, for that matter? By the way, I think it’s time for a wardrobe refresh. Some of these tops need to go. I almost put them in the donation pile.” Tam picked up a dingy, frayed, olive-green waffle knit L.L. Bean shirt that had clearly seen better days. I may have had it since college.

“You wanted to move in this week,” I replied, taking the glass baking dish of bubbly chicken enchiladas out of the oven. “And I love that shirt. It’s perfectly worn in. But I am eternally grateful for your help. I now have enough food for David Anders to last a week until I can get back here.” I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle the three enormous cooler bags I was bringing him that afternoon. Tam had to go to work, and I couldn’t afford to pay anyone to help me like I used to do with big jobs like this. Until I got my first Rockwood check, I was puttering along on fumes.

“And it’ll be October before you know it, and you’ll have some breaks from him when the season gets underway. This is always a tough stretch for you,” she said. I swore Tam knew me and my life better than I knew myself sometimes. “How are you feeling about everything?”

“Sweaty and gross after making a huge batch of cookies and all these enchiladas in late August. Oh, you mean about Rockwood? Totally fucking perplexed. I was all set to take the plunge. I mean, it’s a weird job for me, completely different fromanything I’ve ever done, you name it. Still, I looked at it as a one-year opportunity to make some money, have very few expenses, and figure out the next stage of my life. But,Kyle Hollingon campus? And recently divorced? A huge monkey wrench in the whole damn thing.”

“And Oasis on the car radio as soon as you turned it on. You said you listened to it with him on that fateful night. It’s got to be some kind of sign. I’m channeling a majorSleepless in Seattlevibe here.” Tam could truly tie a movie into almost any scenario.

“But a sign of what? The guy ghosted me. I tried to get in touch with him every which way, and nothing. And obviously, he wasn’t pining away for me. The dude got married. He has a kid, for God’s sake. And I’ve been here, living some sort of arrested development.”

“You have not,” she insisted. “You’re only thirty-five.We’reonly thirty-five. If you are, then I am, too.” She looked around the studio condo. “I’m excited to move in here. I’m covering so many stories at the State House these days, and I’ll be practically next door.”

“And closer to Professor Plum.” Tam’s date had gone well, and they were going out again that night.

“Yes, that’s true. Cambridge is just across the river. But you know me, I’m sure I’ll get bored soon.” She examined a pair of wind pants that were riddled with holes and tossed them in the recycling pile without even consulting me. “What about Bentley? Have you heard from him?”

“Nothing,” I muttered. “I mean, I don’t know if I should expect to. It was a bad scene. And Julianna’s Instagram is just pictures of her doing volunteer work all over town. Feeding people at homeless shelters, wrapping gifts for children, that sort of thing.”

“Saint Julianna,” said Tam with a nod.

“I guess she’s trying to put an angelic image out there. In contrast to me.” I sighed, scooping up the donation pile into a trash bag. “Where was any of that going, anyway? Decent romps and secret ice cream dates? Fun for a while, but I’m starting to need more, I think.”I need more.It was a significant revelation for me.

“You do deserve more, Dev,” agreed Tam. “Now, I get a cookie before you leave, right?”

...

“‘Sup, Dev?” said David Anders as I opened the door to his Seaport condo. I was one of only four people, including his mother, housekeeper, and trainer, who had a key. One of the doormen had graciously offered to help me as I unloaded the huge cooler bags from my Jeep at the valet stand. David’s building was the epitome of luxury in a city where people like me thought they had made it big time when they were able to buy a seven-hundred-square-foot condo in a good neighborhood with a dishwasher and street parking. Even three years into our arrangement, I still was in a bit of awe every time I came over.

“How’s my favorite Celtic?” I asked while dropping the bags onto the enormous marble kitchen island and going back into the living room, where David was intensely gaming on his PlayStation.

“Stressed, Dev. My shooting sucks, and I keep getting these groin muscle strains. Sorry for the TMI, but you know how it goes.” I did. He told me almost everything.

“Okay, so here’s the deal, kiddo,” I said, sitting down next to him on the big leather sofa. “I need to talk to you. Can you pause this, whatever it is?”

“PGA Tour 2K21. See, I’m playing on a course in Scottsdale here.”

“You don’t play golf.”

“A man can dream, right?” he drawled. David always worried me. He hardly ever left his condo unless he had a game or practice. I couldn’t imagine him spending four hours on a golf course, especially with other people. “So, what’s the deal? Don’t worry about the whole ‘Dev in the news thing.’ They just don’t have much to talk about until we start our new season and dominate the news cycle with our brilliance.” He put down the controller and gave me a high five. I knew he didn’t act this relaxed with anyone else. David Anders, on the bench and on the court, was quiet, focused, and extremely shy. I liked being a person he was comfortable with, but it felt heavy sometimes.

“You know it. Can’t wait to watch you guys. No, I’m putting the whole mess behind me.” I took a breath. “Which is why I’ve taken a job running the dining services at a boarding school near Portsmouth. It’s a nice place. Pretty campus. I’m just looking at doing this for a year. You know, so I can get my shit together again.”

He nodded slowly, digesting the information. “What about me?” he asked with a shakiness in his voice.

I patted him on the knee. “You are part of the deal. I’ll still come down once a week with a bunch of food for you. My new boss knows. I made sure I could still do this before I said yes. I’m going to call your mom and let her know after I leave, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

He stood up and walked to the kitchen. “Good,” he called back at me. “Because no one makes a cookie like this,” he said, opening the bags until he found what he was looking for. And with that, I had David Anders’ blessing.

...

Despite the two air conditioning units whirling from both sides of the fourth floor of Wentworth House, the ice in my extra-large iced coffee had melted, and the drink was growing lukewarm too quickly for my liking. I turned on the icemaker in my new freezer, but I knew it would be a while until it yielded anything. Somehow, I doubted I could get an iced coffee delivery to campus. I wasn’t in Boston anymore. And even if I could, it would most certainly be melted by the time it reached me. And I’d have to climb all those stairs yet again. Those were going to take some getting used to.

It had felt so strange to load up the Jeep and the rented U-Haul trailer and just drive away from Boston with Tam waving goodbye from outside my condo building. I had lived in Boston for the thirteen years since I graduated from Norwell. My whole adult life.Was I making the right decision?I didn’t feel like I had a better option. Word had spread about the scandal to the point where reporters were following me down the street, asking me questions that I tried to ignore. I finally told someone who claimed to be fromThe Raucous Bostonian, an online paper I had never heard of before, to shut the fuck up. For someone who represented a supposedly unhinged news source, he didn’t take it well at allandincluded my outburst in his story. It was probably a good idea for me to leave town for a while.

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