Page 11 of Dr. Attending

I can’t help but chuckle, though I probably shouldn’t. It’s not like I knew any of this before becoming a parent either. Sure, we learned the basics in medical school, and I did a short pediatric rotation during residency, but I operate exclusively on adults now. The last time I gave serious thought to childhood development was almost a decade ago.

“How you graduated from nursing school is beyond me,” Walker mutters as he shakes his head, unable to hide the affection laced in his tone. He turns to me. “I’ll handle it, don’t worry. And tell Parker that we need to grab drinks soon. It’s been a while since I saw him. Dude works all of the time.”

I nod as I grab my keys from the counter, not sure how to respond because I’m not confident that I’ll get to tell Parkeranything at all. I know he said he would come, but saying something and doing it are two completely different things.

“Call me if he wakes up and you can’t get him back down,” I add, feeling a slight pang of uncertainty even though Carter conked out as soon as his head hit the mattress.

This is the first time I’m leaving my son with anyone besides my parents, so I’m on edge, even though I know I shouldn’t be. Carter did great with Walker when we grabbed dinner a few weeks ago, so if he wakes up, he’s in good hands.

I don’t know why I always imagined that having a child would bring my world to a screeching halt. Of course, it was a massive adjustment in the beginning, but I’ve finally realized that I don’t have to hit pause on my life just because I’m a parent—I can do a few things for me now too.

Walker gives me an easy grin and claps me on the back. “I’m sure it will be fine. We’re buddies.”

Morgan shoots her husband a pointed look as we walk toward the front door. “I’m still pissed you didn’t tell me Wessy had a baby, by the way. What happened to spousal privilege?”

“It never came up.” Walker shrugs. He pulls his wife into his arms and plants a kiss on the top of her head. “Plus, his business is none of your business, little devil. And I didn’t want you running that big mouth to the whole hospital.”

I give Walker an appreciative glance.

It’s not that I’ve been keeping my son a secret. The department chair knows. My family knows. But I also haven’t been running around advertising it either—I’ve simply been focused on keeping my head down, trying to survive.

Morgan cranes her neck back and rolls her eyes. “Clearly, my mouth isn’t big enough, considering that ring gag almost broke my jaw.”

“Uh . . . I should be back in a few hours,” I say, feeling like I’m interrupting as Walker bends down to whisper something in his wife’s ear that makes her cheeks flush bright red.

I shift on my feet, unsure of where to look because it’s entirely possible that they’re less than thirty seconds away from taking all of their clothes off in my foyer.

Even though I’m beginning to wonder if asking Morgan and Walker to babysit was a bad idea, watching the two of them together fills me with a sense of longing that settles deep in my chest.

I’ve never had the desire for a long-term partner, probably because it was never something I was ready for. My life was always about me—my dreams, my aspirations, my enjoyment. But the moment I became a father, everything changed. What I wanted wasn’t important anymore because my son came first.

Now that I’ve finally settled into that role, I’m beginning to wonder what’s next for me. If I’m capable of the same passion that my friends have, or if it only exists for a rare few.

“His diaper stuff is in his room if he needs to be changed. And if he’s really fussy, he likes the Baby Beluga song. You can probably find it on Spotify if you need to . . .” I trail off, positive that they’re not listening to any of the words coming out of my mouth at this point.

Walker straightens and smiles warmly as he places his hands on his wife’s shoulders. “Take your time, man. Seriously. We’ve got it covered. And if you think of anything else, just shoot me a text.”

“Great. Thanks again,” I reply, pausing as I reach for the door. “Oh . . . and if you’re going to have a quickie, just make sure you keep it down.”

I shoot them a wink and Morgan giggles, wiggling her body against her husband.

Walker’s voice drops low, still playful but full of warning.

“Don’t worry,” he murmurs, brushing his lips against her ear, “what I have planned for her isn’t quick.”

Chapter 4

Weston

Most surgeons are unflappable under pressure—they’re stoic leaders who refuse to admit weakness both inside, and out, of the operating room. If you did a survey on which medical specialty has the biggest ego, nine times out of ten, the answer would be surgery. But if you whittled it down from there, nobody would be able to agree. Ortho would probably say cardiac. Cardiac would probably say neuro. And neuro would probably refuse to answer the question because they know that it’s them.

The point is that surgeons aren’t exactly known for their emotional intelligence. They’re paid to produce the best results with the fewest errors. And that type of focus requires a disassociation from yourself that can be challenging to snap out of once you go home.

But you have to.

You have to remember that when you leave the walls of the hospital, you are not a God. You are a person. A person whois capable of making mistakes, just like everyone else. And I’m hoping that Parker remembers that too.

“Ready to order?” the waitress asks me for the second time.

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