Page 59 of Dr. Attending

While she’s probably right, that doesn’t mean I agree. Or that I won’t leave the door open, just in case.

I’ll leave the porch light on if you change your mind.

Chapter 22

Caroline

If I could speak to the manager of my life, I would ask a rapid-fire list of questions starting with, “Why the hell am I doing this?”

And while there are multiple scenarios over the years that this question could relate to, it’s currently directed at the fact that I just pulled into Weston’s driveway.

Do I have a plan? No.

Is this a bad idea? Yes.

Should I turn around? Probably.

I turn my car off and unbuckle my seatbelt, but I don’t make a move to get out. Instead, I rest my forehead against the steering wheel, closing my eyes as my head and my heart engage in a debate more heated than a presidential election. Once I give both parties ample time to give their speeches, I come to the conclusion that there isn’t going to be a winner declared tonight, so I might as well head inside.

I take a few steadying breaths and then grab my purse from the passenger seat, not bothering to text Weston to let him know that I’m here. The front porch light is on, just like he said it would be, so I’m assuming that his offer still stands.

The back of my sleeveless black and tan dress gets caught on something as I try to exit the car, and I curse in frustration because the thin heel of my bootie almost snaps off when I plant it a little too forcefully onto the pavement to keep my balance.

Fuck me, it’s been a long day.

I’ve been wearing this incredibly cute outfit since I got out of bed, even though I normally wear nothing more than an oversized T-shirt when I spend the day studying at my apartment. But since I was planning on coming to Carter’s party after I finished my practice test and the timing was tight, I got ready in advance. I even put on a full face of makeup and blew out my hair with my Dyson, figuring it would save time later on.

And it would have . . . if I had made it to the party.

I wanted to be there. I really did. I even planned it perfectly so that I would finish right around the time everyone else was on their way. But as soon as I got my score back, I knew I couldn’t go.

Sixty-five percent.

I had barely answered more than half of the questions correctly.

Our school says that sixty-three is a good indicator of passing, but it felt too close for comfort. All I could think about was how a rainstorm of defeat was soaking me to the bone, and I had no idea what I could have done differently to prepare.

My phone has been permanently on the Do Not Disturb setting. I’ve barely seen or talked to anyone other than my family. I’ve remained focused and diligent as I’ve combed through every resource imaginable to prepare.

And I still nearly failed.

All I could do was lay under my comforter and cry until I couldn’t cry anymore. And when I finally pulled myself together, touched up my makeup, and looked down at my phone, I realized that the party was nearly over.

So I did what all girls do when they’re sad, I drove to Target and roamed the aisles aimlessly. I was mindlessly smelling fall-scented candles with a cart full of things I didn’t need when Weston texted me.

I expected him to make some snide comment about my absence, but he didn’t—he put me first.

So that’s what I’m doing now.

I’m showing up for Weston like he showed up for me. I’m letting him know that he’s important to me.

His front door opens as I’m halfway up his sidewalk, and it feels like I’m having déjà vu from the last time I climbed these stairs a month ago. I remember being so irritated when I looked up from my phone because I was in a terrible headspace after my neuro exam, and the last person I wanted to spend time with was Weston Southerland.

And while tonight is similar, it’s also different. I might still be overwhelmed and exhausted because of school, but the last thing that I feel when I meet his hazel eyes is irritation—I feel relief.

Weston must be thinking back on the moment too, because he greets me the same way he did that day, standing in the doorway with a wide grin.

“Hey, princess.”

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