Page 97 of If You Love Me

Every declaration he made to her was like twisting the knife in my chest. I was filled with so much hurt and anger. If he ever loved me, how could he say that? How could he act like I meant nothing to him? I stood there watching them until I couldn’t take it anymore.

I closed out of the app, tears streaming down my face. With trembling fingers, I called my mama.

“Iona?”

I could tell she was driving from the background noise.

“Mommy… I can’t take this.”

“Baby, please, let me help you—”

“He gave her a ring.”

“How do you know that, sweetheart?”

“I’m watching them right now, Ma! Damn! He really just moved on from me with no hesitation.”

“Iona… she’s his wife. They were separated a long time, baby—”

“I don’t care!” I screamed. “He was mine! They were mine! She should have stayed gone. I hate him. I hate him for hurting me. He thought he knew pain when she disappeared, he hasn’t seen shit yet!”

“Iona, baby, let me come to you. Let me take care of you. Please!”

“I don’t need to be taken care of. I don’t need a lecture. What I need is for him to feel what I feel!”

“Please let me take you—”

“I’m not going any fucking where! God, why did I call you? You’re never on my side. You’re supposed to be on my side sometimes.”

“I’m always in your corner, but right is right, and wrong is wrong. You have no right to cause harm to him for choosing to be with his wife, Iona.”

“You’re acting like I was a side chick. I was his fiancée. He asked me to marry him, to spend the rest of my life with him, then he just snatched it all back just because I sent his wife the divorce papers he should have sent long ago?”

“Are you hearing yourself, baby? Do you see how crazy this all sounds?”

“I’m not crazy,” I yelled.

“I didn’t say you were crazy—”

“Mama, why are you trying to reason with her?” Meena asked in the background. “This ain’t the first time she’s gone off the deep end. I don’t know why you won’t just commit her. You have the power to do it.”

“Shut up, Meena! You would love to see me put away. You hate the idea of anybody loving me.”

She laughed. “Nobody would be stupid enough to actually love you if they knew what they were getting. That’s why you fucked my husband. You’re the reason I’m getting divorced!”

“You still mad about that? It was eight years ago. I don’t want that nigga, but believe me, if I slid this pussy across his face again, he would absolutely take it.”

“Iona!” my mother yelled.

“I hate you!” Meena screamed. “You always want what you can’t have because nothing about you is desirable. Look at you. You paid all that money to be a bad bitch and still going out a sad, crazy, deranged lunatic. You wanted to play house with a man that already had a wife. All that sucking, fucking, cleaning, and playing mommy might have gotten you the ring, but you still don’t have the man.”

“Both of you need to stop it,” our mother begged.

“No, she needs to hear the truth. Did you hear what she said, Mama? She’s watching them. You put cameras in that house, didn’t you?”

“She wouldn’t do that,” my mother defended.

“It’s either that or crazy is at the house. You hear all the yelling she’s doing. There’s no way she’s over there. They would have come out or called the police by now.”

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