Page 40 of Volunteer 4711

I walk back to my quarters and am happy to get into bed. I think about my grandmother’s locket, and I find it difficult to believe I will get it back. But I remind myself, as the Commander suggested, it may just be a trick as well, so I don’t allow myself to get too excited.

* * *

In the morning, in the Commander’s quarters, we go through our morning routine, and neither of us mentions the night before. After he’s dressed, he leaves for the bridge, and I go through his personal correspondence before starting the laundry. I see one from the auction house. I open it. Inside the message is an image of my grandmother’s necklace. I swallow hard, looking at it. Then I look at the price the Commander paid, and I almost pass out. It’s more than a lifetime of what I’d make working as his valet.

I know he’s a wealthy man but still.

I remind myself that he just bought it without hesitating, so it must not be much money for him, and I shouldn’t feel guilty. He also said it was his fault for taking me to the other ship. However, I can’t help it. I feel guilty, even though I shouldn’t. And then it occurs to me; maybe it’s a bribe or price for me, not my locket, but a release, so the farmers will leave him alone. I think about that for a minute.Did he buy me and satisfy the farmers and me at the same time? Was I just bought and bought off at the same time?

I wouldn’t say I like this thought. It’s an evil thought, and I shouldn’t be thinking it, but now I can’t get it out of my head. By the evening, it’s festered, and I can’t think about anything else. But thankfully, the Commander is so preoccupied with other things he doesn’t notice I’m upset, or he thinks it has something to do with yesterday and is ignoring it.

* * *

The next morning, he keeps me in his quarters after he’s dressed.

“The other commander has issued a formal complaint with me on behalf of his Water woman. It’s a direct response to my wanting to punish want of his crew for trying to rape you. Unfortunately, the video footage of your attack is unavailable, so it is your word against his. I, of course, have my officer’s word as well, but again, it is his word against your attacker’s, but it is strong that the other crew member told my officer he was going to have sex with you, implying it would be against your will.”

“What happens now?” I ask. I don’t know much about Silver laws. I only know the cultural norms of gift-giving and family organization. However, I don’t have high hopes, as it’s an incredibly patriarchal society.

“He wants me to pay for your attack. It’s a matter of exchanging goods.”

“I will pay. I attacked her,” I reply.

“No,” he says. “Unfortunately, they have tricked us both. When I bought your necklace, I conceded by law that you were property. I was thinking with my emotions, and I acted too quickly. Now the other commander wants you as his property, and that’s the exchange of goods he wants.”

“That’s insane,” I say. I don’t tell the Commander I already had the same thoughts about the necklace and now his admission of being too emotional about it to make the correct decision makes me feel better. “You won’t trade me?”

“I told you before I would never, and no matter what the law says or whatever I have implied legally, you are not a piece of property to me.”

“I understand,” I say. “But what happens now?”

“First, I will offer him money instead of you. After a few tries, he will take it.” My Commander sighs, “Then, I will come down on him and his crew harshly with the fleet’s laws regarding sex outside of marriage, and he will be forced to marry or make his Water woman a volunteer again. Many crew members will not be happy with this arrangement, as they assumed they would have a longer grace period, so he will have more to think about than you.”

“Do I need to do anything?”

“Keep going to your self-defense lessons, remember you have a gun and do not follow anyone you have not already vetted through your years on this ship,” he says.

“Had I just let it go, this would have never happened,” I say.

“If not this, then something else would have happened to lead to this same situation. The other commander realizes your worth and wants to take you for himself, and he used the other Water woman to get to you.”

I can’t entirely agree, but I don’t say that out loud. I can tell by his manner he thinks this is concluded now and leaves for the bridge. I sit down at his desk and open his personal messages. I see that there are a lot from the government. I mark those all for him and don’t read them.

Then I open one from a female, which isn’t odd, but what she writes is unusual. I’m blocked from changing it to ‘unopened,’ so I continue reading the entire message. There’s no question that this is a past lover of his, and it looks as if her husband has died. She’s not asking for anything that I can see, so why would she message my Commander? I read through her message a few times. Her husband died recently, but she mentions that my Commander would have known about it, I’m assuming because he was also a well-known man in Silver society. Then she writes, ‘I still remember our time together.’ I try not to be jealous, but my mind is in overdrive, thinking about all the wonderful places and stunning people on the Home Planet. And that this Silver female he had a relationship with is someone I would never be able to be. First, because obviously, I’ll never be a Silver. Second, because I wasn’t born into wealth or power, I was so poor and weak; my own people traded me because I had no one to prevent it and then sent me to volunteer on a farm slash brothel. And lastly, there’s only so much I can learn and adapt to Silver culture; ultimately, I’ll always see this world through human eyes, which is different, and what Silver husband would ever appreciate that?

I close the message and mark it for the Commander. I then open my own messages in my GC account, and I only have receipts of my salary from the Commander. His name isn’t even on the automated messages. I wonder if I’ll ever have a male who messages me with something as romantic as, ‘remember the time when we were together?’ I want to be realistic with myself, and I must say, ‘No, that’s never going to happen for me. Not in this lifetime. Not like this.’ I allow myself ten minutes to wallow in self-pity, then I close my messages and open my Commander’s again. I go about my daily task of sending a few messages of condolences or congratulations and then get on to the laundry.

“Do you have time for tea?” my friend asks as she sticks her head in the laundry room.

I smile. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“You were all over the Home Planet’s news this morning,” she says as I sit down at a table in the servants’ canteen. She hardly stops to draw a breath. “The Commander bought a necklace that supposedly belonged to you from the farmers.”

“It was very kind of him,” I reply.

“It’s true, and you knew about it?”

“Yes, I told him it was mine, and he bought it for me.”

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