Page 29 of Volunteer 4711

I break away from him and begin to cry.

“This life began with that name. You changed your future with that name. I am proud of your name Volunteer 4711.”

“I never volunteered for any of this!”

“You have volunteered. You volunteered not to die when you were chosen by your people. You volunteered to do the farm work. You volunteered to save me. You volunteered to learn my language and my culture. You volunteered to become a part of this crew. And all of this you did as a Water person. You volunteered, and you have won this game that was set out against you. I only see a successful female who has achieved more than most Silver people do and that no one seeing your achievements would ever call a ‘slave.’ Your name is your fame. Your name is the record of your accomplishments. Your tattoo is a sign of your success.”

I cannot deny the way he sees it, and this is the way I want to see it, but is it the truth, or is what the other human woman says the truth?

“Who you were on the Water planet died when you received that tattoo and your new name,” he says.

I begin to cry again, thinking about that night.

“I am proud of you, Volunteer 4711. You are treated as a valuable member of this crew because you have earned it under that name, not your Water woman name.”

I try to take deep breaths and calm myself.What is true?

He continues, quieter now, “That other Water woman, she will always be a volunteer. She gives you the impression that she is not because she does not have a volunteer number or the mark of a volunteer anymore but because she cannot speak our language. She does not know our culture. She holds on to her dead life. Her Water planet life will never be hers again. You actually belong in Silver society. You have your own life and your own money. If something were to happen to me, you could find another position.”

The Commander and I make eye contact.

“You pay me?”

“Of course, I pay you. I pay you the same as any other servant. Your payment is in your GC account.”

“I have a GC account?” I ask.

“Yes,” he looks at me seriously. “It is late now, but I will have someone show you tomorrow.”

I don’t speak for fear of losing control of my emotions again.

“I do not think you should spend too much time with the other Water woman. It makes you upset. I would advise you to see her as a ghost and nothing more,” he says.

“I want to spend time with someone of my own species,” I say. “It may be the last time I see another Water person.”

“It is your decision, but I would caution you not to taint your name with hers.”

“Is that an order?”

“You know very well that even I cannot dictate who you spend your free time with if they are members or guests on this ship.”

“But you dictate every other part of my life,” I say.

He looks at me questioningly.

“Computer access,” I say.

“You are not ready.”

“Why?”

“Have I ever harmed you or led you astray? Have I ever let others harm you in any way?”

“No,” I answer.

“Trust me when I say you are not ready, then. Go spend time with this other Water woman who lives in the shadows of her past if you want. You are not an idiot. You will soon see that she is no freer than you were on that farm.”

“I,” I begin, then hesitate, steading my emotions and meeting his sharp eyes, “I know, I should be grateful that you took me from the farm, but seeing this Water person and listening to what she has to say, and comparing it to my own life, has made me want to reconsider how I feel about what’s happening here.”

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