Page 74 of Volunteer 4711

As soon as my wife says ‘goodbye’ today and leaves the conference room, we begin the meeting. I know we are close to striking a deal. It’s in the Empire’s best interest that my fleet is stronger now as the Home Planet is striking more and more trade agreements with the Agnorrians, angering the Empire.

After a few more hours, we all agree on a solution with more weapons and ships coming my way. Had it not been for my wife, none of this would have been possible. Imperials are wary of Silvers, but they respect her.

* * *

I return to my quarters to find my wife at the computer. She looks up at me and then back down at her work.

“Busy?” I ask.

“You’re receiving a lot of cryptic messages, you know? I don’t know how to reply. They aren’t the usual, ‘We had a baby’ or ‘someone has died’ kinds of things.”

“Mark them for me, and I will look at them,” I tell her. These messages aren’t surprising to me, given what I am planning. There’s no question that people on the Home Planet have heard whispers about it.

“Is something going on?”

“You know what is going on,” I say.

“I know you are planning on expanding your fleet with Imperial help, but this looks like more than that.”

“I don’t want you to worry any more than necessary.” I walk over to her and turn off the computer. “You are carrying our children, our future. Trust me to do my job, and you do yours.”

“Your job affects mine,” she says.

Ever since she saw the Imperial doctor, I have noticed that she has become more vocal about her place as a female in society. She has said that she always had these thoughts, but the hormones of pregnancy don’t allow her to contain them anymore. I think the Imperial doctor shifted something in her mind to make her less afraid to be vocal. I don’t mind because nothing of what she said isn’t true, even if I find it uncomfortable and unchangeable.

“It does,” I reply. “And that is why I do not want you to know too much. I do not want you to have to worry about the babies and me. I trust you to do what is right for yourself and the children.”

“I think my ignorance makes it worse because I don’t know,” she tries again.

“It does not,” I assure her. And I am resolute in this. “Now, let’s leave this conversation. Would you like to have a bath together?”

I can see on her face that she has mixed emotions about it. “Only if you promise to tell me something. I don’t know about all of this. It’s my greatest fear that you will die before you see your children. Remember the day I met you? Someone was trying to kill you.”

“This is why I don’t want you thinking about my work,” I say.

“I can’t help it,” she says.

I lead her into the bathroom and start a warm bath. Then I begin undressing her. I blow across her naked abdomen, stretched further than I thought possible with our children inside. She puts her hands in my hair, and I know we are going to spend the next couple of hours being very kind to one another.

CHAPTER35

VOLUNTEER 4711

It’s my worst nightmare.“I can’t do this,” I say to the doctor. I can hear the Imperial doctor in the corner giving advice as well over a computer screen, but I removed my translator, so I don’t know what he’s saying.

“You need to find a comfortable position. Perhaps hold on to something and crouch down.”

“Like what a tree?” I say, wishing for a tree to hug while I did this.

My husband stands in front of me and takes my hands. “Push when your body tells you to. You can feel it, right?”

“Of course, I can feel it,” I snap. We had decided that no medicine was best as these were hybrid children. However, the Imperial doctor had offered for me to have the children on his ship painlessly, but I didn’t trust him enough, and now I am deeply regretting that decision.

I push and think I might die. I wish I would have done more exercise. When I break, I just close my eyes. I try to imagine myself on the beach in Florida again, but that doesn’t work. Another contraction hits me, and I begin to see black.

I’m fading away from reality to accomplish this one goal. My body is telling me that nothing else matters. I hear myself groan in pain as I push, but I don’t even recognize it as my own voice. I’m in pain and but it doesn’t matter. Somehow my body, without my mind, is cooperating to get this accomplished. I must do this and have no choice in the matter. My mind has been pushed out of the process.

I can’t hear anyone. My heart is beating so loudly in my ears.I’m dying, I think. I just let go of everything, then. I cannot. It’s too much.

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