Page 51 of Crow

“I’m not looking,” she promises. “I brought you these.”

I step out and get a towel secured around my waist. I leave a wet trail to the door and take the clothes gratefully. I can’t imagine how nasty the ones are from yesterday. “Thank you.”

“Breakfast is here too. And painkillers. Yay! Plus, this.” She shoves a toothbrush through the crack in the door next, along with a tube of toothpaste and a tiny packet with some ibuprofen. “You can just order all this up from the front desk. Isn’t that amazing?”

“Yeah,” I agree. This morning, it is.

I’m so used to shutting out and shutting down, even when it comes to the things that I want, that the kind gesture hits me hard. No one has the opportunity to do things for me because I don’t let them in. It’s the worst part and the best part about her being here now.

“Thanks. I’ll be right out.”

It takes me ten more minutes to feel human again. Tarynn’s brush is on the counter, which I guiltily use, promising to get her another, but I clean out every hair meticulously anyway, then run it under hot water for a few minutes. Not like I have hair cooties or anything, but I didn’t ask her if I could borrow it.

It feels like heaven to have a fresh mouth and clean clothes.

By the time I exit the bathroom, I feel like I really can face this and fix it with the same level of competence and fearlessness that I usually display.

Tarynn is still in the robe. She’s sitting cross legged, looking quite cheerful and chipper for someone who should also probably be hungover as fuck. It’s a problem that I can’t tear my eyes away from her.

She pats the bed beside her. She has two trays laid out. Hers has waffles and fruit and mine has a few pieces of toast, an egg, and a piece of ham. Nothing fried and all of it looks bland. It’s astonishing that my stomach actually cramps with hunger at the sight of it.

“You look like you’re feeling better,” she volunteers. “I want to say that you look so good right now that my ovaries are about to explode, but that’s a little bit much for a morning after a night like the one we just had.”

My jaw practically unhinges. Where did the quiet, shy, meek woman I brought on a plane with me go? Yet, she’s right here. She might be bolder, and freer with what she says, but her sense of humor has probably been struggling to get free all thistime. She’s sharp and quick witted. She’s smart, and she’s also just as kind, genuine, and sweet. She’s studying me carefully while trying to pretend that she’s not, asking me silently if I’m going to be okay.

It’s a legit question from someone who just had to scrape my ass off the floor and clean up after me.

I sit down on the bed beside her, sticking out my legs to stretch them and setting the plate in my lap. The toast is good. It’s excellent actually.

Tarynn devours half her waffles while I chew a few bites. She waits all that time and then gets right into it. “This might not be the worst thing in the world.”

I’m glad my mouth is empty, because I wasnotexpecting that. Bless her, I find a mug of creamy coffee on the nightstand that I’d missed before. I sip it, thankful for the padding of the milk so it doesn’t burn my stomach.

“I’d be interested in hearing how you think so.”

“Well…” Her fork hovers above the waffles. “If I’m legally married, my parents can’t find me a husband against my will. It was probably coming down the line, or I’d get shoved one too many times into scenarios conveniently and coincidentally involving a friend of the family’s son or someone promising in the church congregation. Someone my father approves of. They also can’t commit me against my will.”

“Commit you?” My hand curls around my fork. I long to race all the way back to Hart on foot and shove it straight into her father’s fucking face.

At the same time, I have to fight to keep my emotion off my face. I don’t want her to see how any talk like that slamsinto me and cuts me like a knife driven straight into my side. My parents pulled that shit on me when I was at my lowest point. I thought I could trust them. I was wrong.

“That’s farfetched, but who knows how desperate they would be. They could claim anything. They could say that I’m not in my right mind. You’d think that would reflect poorly on my parents, but they’d probably eat it up, my dad especially. He’d say his faith was being tested, but at such a trying time, he’d stand firm. He’d do anything he could to make me better. He’d have the whole congregation praying for him. Technically me, but also for him. He’d be thrust in the spotlight.”

“That sounds a lot like Munchausen’s by proxy, except with religion rather than medicine.”

She ducks her head, flushing guiltily. “Chances are, I’m being mean. I don’t think any of that would happen, but if wewerelegally married, they would have no standing or say in just about any scenario I can think of.”

“Good or bad.”

She nods. “But nothing about this has to be bad. Nothing has to change. It could just be fake, but we’re the only ones who have to know that. You can’t tell me you haven’t done crazier things in your life.”

She’s looking at me like this is a done deal and like she’s thankful for it. The hope in her eyes slays me. If she needs me to be her shield and this is the best way to do it, then I’ll let this go on for as long as she needs it.

Even if I can practically hear Raven crowing in my head.

“My parents might never speak to me again, but at least they’ll have to learn to see me as an adult and respect me. Iwould feel safer,” she admits, but she’s not trying to cajole. She’s not pressing for this. “I know it’s asking a lot. Nothing has to really change, though.”

I haven’t given her an answer out loud. She’s right about a lot of things, but not about that last part. Thingshavechanged. We sort of slept together. She knows my body now, but I have no recollection of it.

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