Page 73 of Crow

Patti’s is its usual bustling, lively self on Saturday night. Most of the guys from the club are here, the old ladies and the club whores hanging around playing pool, darts, drinking beers, shooting the shit—and holy fuck, that’s a statement I never thought I’d say.

Even Tyrant is here, though he probably won’t stay long. I dropped Connie off with his old lady, Lark, because their daughter has been begging me to let the dog come stay with her for a few hours at her house, ever since she saw her at the club one afternoon. As far as kids go, Penny is pretty awesome. There was no way I could tell her no. Tyrant will be at the club later, and I know that he’ll spend a few hours between now and then, doing dad stuff and probably working on house renovations at his place.

I’m in my usual spot, holding up the wall. I just feel more comfortable here, but I did let Wizard convince me to play some pinball earlier. Spoiler alert—I fucking suck at it. It was fun anyway. His score was so high, the machine shut itself off and restarted. He was pissed that he lost all his free plays. He had like eighteen balls lined up.

I spot Bullet and Smoke over at the far pool table. They’re in Tarynn’s section, and they’re both trying to pretend they don’t notice how hot she is in those short leather shorts, Patti’s tank top, and her badass biker boots. She’s got her hair down, but tucked into a braid, offset with heavy dark eye makeup and red lipstick.

She’s so utterly beautiful that it makes my balls tight. Of course my cock is raging hard. When is it not? There’s been times where I actually thought I was in danger of having to go to the hospital or something, the erection lasted so long.

Tarynn is sweet, gorgeous perfection. I dropped her off earlier on my bike and I can’t wait to take her home on it. I’ll take her for a good long ride, get her heady and high on that freedom open road feeling and fresh air before I set about parting her from the clothes she looks so irresistibly hot in, and ruining her hair and makeup.

I watch her cast shy smiles at Ella, Rita, and Jodie. They’re at a booth over in the corner. Tarynn walks over and lingers for a while, seeming to enjoy talking to them instead of just forcing it for work. She hasn’t made plans for dinner with any of the old ladies yet, but I know they’ll take her out soon. Probably for more than just dinner. Ella loves books as much as Tarynn, and the others love any kind of shopping. I’m sure they’ll have a great day or night out.

Tarynn might say she’s just an ordinary person, but to me, she’s a miracle worker. She’s the one who set up the truce between Raven and myself. Long before she ever got us to agree to give sharing equal amounts of time as the Dominant a try, she brought calm and quiet to my head.

I no longer feel like I’m constantly locked in a battle of good versus evil, restraint versus control. I don’t physically, mentally, or emotionally feel like shit anymore.

It’s not just a change on the inside.

After I told her about Raven, I told the club. Having that out and having other people tell me that I’m just fine the way I am, not broken or someone to be feared and fixed, has madea huge difference. I don’t feel strained anymore. I don’t have to hide. I can just be who I am and if that’s fucking weird, then so be it.

I’m finding that I can come out and enjoy myself outside of the club as well. I never would have been able to come here to Patti’s and think it was anything more than putting in time, pretending to be like everyone else. I don’t come here for me. I come here for Tarynn, so we can spend time together even when she’s working, and okay, also because both Raven and I are in full agreement about protecting her. I know she doesn’t need it here—the other guys know that she’s mine, and they’d take a bullet for her any day of the week. Aside from the pure enjoyment of watching her work, getting her secret smiles every now and then, and her fucking delicious grilled cheese sandwiches that she always has waiting just for me, I’m actually starting to feel like I’m part of something here.

Even at work, people are noticing the difference. Instead of tattooing for eight hours or more without saying a word, I try to talk to my clients, if they’re open to conversation, especially if I notice that they need it. I’m not so up in my head now that I just barrel on through until they beg me for a break. I always felt terrible about not noticing when someone was reaching their breaking point until their body physically alerted me to the fact that they needed a breather, or calories and sugar.

I failed to realize just how unlikable I was. At work, my employees thought I was the typical tattooist with a huge ego, too far above them to ever deign to ask them a single question about themselves. Since I stopped being so tense, they smile a whole lot more. We often exchange hello sand goodbyes. I haven’t told anyone outside of the club about Raven, but maybe one day soon I’ll come clean with my coworkers too.

Life is so different when I learned to stop hating and fearing myself.

It’s just about time for that long awaited grilled cheese. Tarynn is turning around to find me, and I can tell just by the questioning look on her face that she’s asking me if I’m starving yet.

I’m so wrapped up in her that I almost miss the man walk through the door on the other side of the bar. Almost, but I don’t. From where I’m standing, I have a vantage point of the whole place. It’s a strategic spot, so I can survey everything and everyone while Tarynn works. She told me the first time she caught me doing it that I didn’t need to, but at the same time, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to change my mind and she thanked me for caring enough about her that I’d hold up the wall for hours on end. I don’t stay for the full length of her shifts, but while I’m here, you bet your ass she’s going to be safe.

Even if I had no clue who Tarynn’s dad was or what he looked like, it’s easy to spot an outsider in this crowd. With his white button up shirt, black slacks, and polished shoes, he’s glaringly out of place.

Tarynn hasn’t seen him yet. She’s speaking with Raiden, who’s tucked himself into the booth beside his wife. It’s a tight fit, and that’s probably what they’re all laughing about. Tarynn is taking drink orders. She’s got that look on her face that says she’s concentrating on not messing anything up.

The asshole had the nerve to ignore her when she went to their house three days ago, and now he shows up at her place of work?

Yeah, that’s not fucking happening.

I’m usually the one cautioning against violence, but for once, Raven and I are in perfect agreement.

I take two steps forward to cut the bastard off at the pass, but stop abruptly, Tarynn’s sweet, earnest expression, her big eyes so full of everything, asking us both to promise that we wouldn’t hurt her dad. She had her dad’s number. She knows that he’s a hypocritical, self-centered waste of skin. She even walked me through how this would play out, with her father goading me into doing something stupid and then persecuting me doggedly, which would hurt Tarynn terribly.

I can’t let that happen.

I made her a promise.

No,wemade her a promise.

I’ve only hesitated for a few seconds, processing all of this quickly, but in that time, Tarynn has spun around, ready to head back to the bar to give Patti the drink orders for all her tables. Her eyes lock on her dad and she freezes.

He was waiting for her to notice him, and now that she has, he cuts straight across the bar for her, parting seas of rough, leather clad men.

My chest hollows out that I can’t stop him. I’m scorched all over by my desire to break ever bone in his body and leave him in a useless sack of bloody spare parts outside.

The noise in the bar seems to dial down, though I know that it hasn’t. I’m just hyper focused. The thing is, some of my club brothers are too. A whole bunch of heads turn to the middle of the bar, where Tarynn and her dad are about to clash together from opposing sides. A few swivel to me, waiting for some sign that they should close ranks, but I slowly shake my head.

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