Page 18 of Paper Roses

And I’ve hated every single one of them, but I’ll never tell him that. I’d only need half a Post-it to list the things I’d feel comfortable telling him at the moment.

“I haven’t been with anyone since we said we’d do this,” he says.

The words tumble out of him so quickly, I don’t understand him at first. “Pardon?”

He runs his finger along the collar of his blue shirt. “There hasn’t been anyone in my bed since we started discussing this marriage. And there won’t be any until we’ve done what we set out to do.”

A weight falls from my shoulders. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Me seeing someone else would be rather counterproductive if the solicitor ever found out. We’re newlyweds, for god’s sake.” He frowns before adding, “And you shouldn’t see anyone while this is going on either.”

I consider telling him that my dry spell has lasted so long that I feel like a garden with a hosepipe ban in place. Instead, I say, “Ofcoursenot.”

He turns to face me. He’s very potent this close, all tousled hair and big muscles and celery-green eyes that see everything.

“I want to do this,” he says firmly. “I haven’t done anything I didn’t want to for a long time. I said I was going to help you, andI meant it, but we have to work as a team. If there’s a problem, I want you to come to me.”

“How is that any different from usual?”

He chuckles, but when he speaks, he sounds quite serious. “Well, this time you’re betting your house on it.”

“And I’m thankful for everything you’re doing. l don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you.”

“You don’teverneed to do that,” he says abruptly.

“I’ll find a way.”

He looks down at my hand as though it holds the secrets of the universe. Then he fixes his gaze on mine again, and I suppress a sigh. I know what’s coming. He’s said it in various iterations since he’d proposed this arrangement a few weeks ago. The moment he thinks we’re getting on too well together, he battens down the hatches and runs for cover.

“But we’re still in agreement that this is all it can ever be,” he says earnestly.

Yes, here it is.

“I want you to think about this before tomorrow,” he continues. “I’ve been married before, and it wasn’t like this.” I hide my wince, and he carries on, doggedly eviscerating my feelings in the kindest way possible. “You’ve never been married before, Artie. You probably hoped for more than this, and that’s completely natural, but this thing between us is an arrangement, and like all of those, it has a start and an expiry date.”

Just what every young boy dreams about on his wedding eve.

I squeeze his hand. “Of course,” I say. “We’ll do this and then go back to normal when I know I’ve got the house. It’s only until the will is read and it’s all sorted.”

His face relaxes immediately—both my reward and my punishment. “Good. I just don’t want any crossed wires.” He brightens. “And you can move on immediately afterwards withno pesky feelings. Then you’ll be able to find the one you’re meant for.”

He races around to open my door, and I climb out.

“See you tomorrow,” he says. He hesitates and then pulls me into a tight hug. I inhale the musk of his cologne and the sweet scent of his shampoo. His big body is hard and warm against mine, and I wish we could stand like this forever, but he steps away after a too-short moment, of course.

“Bye,” he says. Before I can respond, he’s back in the car, starting the engine and pulling away without a second glance.

I stand in the street watching his taillights vanish into the gloom.

“Get over you?” I say with a huff of frustration. “Sometimes, Jed Walker, you’re an absolutefool.” I turn and walk into my flat. I wish it was as easy to leave my feelings behind.

I wake up the next morning to sunshine filling my room. I roll onto my back and stare up at the water stain on the ceiling. My stomach is full of nerves, but it takes me a few seconds to remember why. Then I sit bolt upright. I’m getting married today. To Jed.

I should be more concerned about the fact that I’m about to commit fraud against my family’s estate. I wonder if I’ve embarked down a slippery slope, and in a few months’ time I’ll be planning a bank robbery.

A knock on the door sounds and Daisy pops her head into the room. I smile at her.

She’s small, with a sweet face and very blue eyes. Her hair is currently red and purple. Last month it was pink, and the monthbefore it was green. She’s a human colour wheel. She’s vivid and bright, and I loved her from the moment she and Laura arrived at my house.

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