Page 52 of Paper Roses

She turns her face to him, and he subsides. He looks over at me. “Will you be okay?”

“He’s with me and Mei, not a team of interrogators, Jed Walker,” his mother says indignantly.

A flutter of nerves fills my belly. Jed’s probably feeling the same. The ways that this could go wrong are numerous. “I’ll be fine,” I say.

He hesitates and his mum says, “That washing line isn’t going to mend itself.”

“I hope the line’s long enough to tie myself to the fence and let the chickens take me.”

“Sassy,” his brother observes, and they head out of the door, letting a gust of cool air flood in. Their voices fade as his mum shuts the door behind them.

“Brr, the summer already feels like it’s over. It’s going to be a cold autumn.” She smiles at me. “Now, what can I get you Artie, love? A cup of tea or a drink? We’ll save the champagne for when the boys come back in.”

“I think tea, if you don’t mind.” I need to stay sober for this.

She pats my shoulder and bustles over to the kettle. The kitchen is a cosy room with oak cupboards and a gleaming quartz worktop which is currently covered with trays of food. An old, scrubbed pine table sits in a nook with windows that showa view of a long garden. Outside, the two brothers appear to be arguing over a fence panel. A chicken flies at Adam, and he gives a loud squawk audible through the glass and flaps his arms. Jed collapses in laughter, and I smile at the sight. He seems younger here. Not so serious and weighed down by life and loss.

Mei makes a soft noise as she looks out the window, too. “Now that’s a sight I haven’t seen in far too long,” she says.

“Oh?” I say.

“He’s been so solemn and sad since Mick died.” She meets my gaze and blanches. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. That was a terrible thing for me to say. Jed was right to be concerned about leaving you with us.”

“No, it’s fine,” I say immediately. “I know all about Mick.”

“You do?” Her eyes widen.

I shift nervously. Even Jed’s mum has abandoned her tea-making to pay attention.

“Well, of course,” I say. “I’ve worked for him for years, so I know about Mick, and I saw how Jed grieved.” I hesitate. “I don’t know what Mick looked like, though. He doesn’t keep pictures in the office.”

Mei tilts her head at this information, and I blanch because I realise Jed probably has photos of Mick in his flat, and surely as his new husband, I’d have seen them.

“We haven’t been living in the flat,” I add quickly. “We’ve been at my house. I don’t go to the flat,” I say again.

Mei looks a little dubious but is polite enough not to question me.

Jed’s mum sets my tea in front of me and then pulls a photo from yet another wall full of family pictures. She hands it to me, and I look down at the photo. It’s a man sitting on a garden chair holding a beer. He’s very good-looking with blond hair and a handsome face full of laughter.

“That was him,” Jed’s mum says. “Mick.”

My heart sinks and I can only be relieved that she didn’t show me a wedding photo of the two of them. “He looks nice,” I say.

His expression is full of life, and even though it’s just an image, I sense his charisma and energy. He seems very unlike me. I suddenly wish I hadn’t asked. I’ve been holding on to a few delusions about being able to live up to Mick, even in a small way.

Nevertheless, I continue to stare at the photo, noticing the reflection of Jed in Mick’s sunglasses. So, that expression was all for Jed. How could Jed ever get over losing a love like this?

I look up and find Jed’s mum watching me. Her face is kind and knowing, and she reaches over and takes the photo from me and sets it neatly to one side.

“Jed’s dad died when he was ten,” she says abruptly.

“Yes, he told me.”

“Hedid?” Both women stare at me.

I shift under their gaze awkwardly. “Yes. He was called Carl, wasn’t he?”

“Well, I never.” His mum shakes her head, a wondering expression on her face. “Jed doesn’t usually talk about it. I don’t think he ever told Michael all the details.”

---