Page 19 of Paper Roses

Nothing that happened between her mum and me has ever affected our relationship, because it was firmly established at the beginning that Daisy would lead me into trouble. I always followed her happily, because she brought vibrancy into my dull life. She loves me, and the people who I can say that about are a small number. In fact, it’s just her.

“You’re awake,” she says delightedly and edges her way into the room carrying a tray. She sets it neatly on my lap. “Breakfast in bed.”

Croissants steam gently beside a pot of jam. “You didn’t have to do this.”

She winks at me. “It’s your wedding day, Artie. Otherwise known as phase one of sticking it to my mother. Of course I remembered.”

I look at the food and my stomach tumbles. “I’m not very hungry,” I say apologetically. “I’m so sorry.”

She shoots me a worried look. “You’re nervous.”

“Of course I am,” I burst out. “I’m about to marry a man to commit fraud and get a house.”

She rolls her eyes and perches cross-legged on the corner of my mattress. The sun plays over her sleeve of tattoos, and she looks like a tropical bird in the grey of my room.

“Iknewthis would happen. You’ve been too cool the last few weeks since I told you about the will and we devised this plan.”

You devised it, I think.I’m so boring it would never have occurred to me.

“You need to listen to me,” she continues. “You arenotcommitting fraud.”

“I really sort of am.”

“Potato and potarto.”

“I do hope his majesty’s judicial system has heard of that defence, because otherwise, I’m stuffed.”

I chuckle as she pinches my leg under the duvet.

“You own that house,” she says. “It’syours. Your mother left it to you. The bad person in this scenario is your dad who should have obeyed her wishes, but we’ll cut him some slack, because my mother’s vagina seems to have contained a very dark and powerful magic.”

I grimace. “I didn’t really want that image in my head today.”

She continues, undeterred. “As I was saying, the house is yours. You know if you contested the will they’d find in your favour because Laura obviously had more than a few bats flying around in her belfry. Therefore, you’re just circumventing the trouble of contesting the fucking stupid thing and saving Mr Davies the solicitor a lot of time and effort.”

“So, I’m the angel in this scenario?”

“You’re an angel in any scenario.”

“And that’s it?That’syour defence?”

“You know it’s true. It’s your property. My mother was just a caretaker for a while. Your mum left the house to you. You were always going to get it. You’ve just got to jump through a few hoops first.”

“Lying hoops.”

“Best not to think about that, babe. Just keep moving. It’ll be fine.”

I nod and then do it again when the first one lacks conviction. “She did leave it to me.”

“That’s the spirit. So, it’s all sorted. Let’s get you married.”

“You’re very blithe about the whole thing.”

She shrugs. “I’d be more concerned if it was a complete rando marrying you, but it’s Jed for god’s sake. Jed of the handsome face and nice forearms.”

“He does have very lovely arms.”

“He also seems to be an honourable man, and I think he’ll look after you. So, are you ready?”

---