Page 38 of Broken Promises

I mentally shook that thought from my mind and watched the scenery pass by, checking my phone to find a message from Reid.

Reid: Just wanted to say I miss you and I hope you’re okay.

My stupid heart squeezed painfully, and part of me wanted to reply. I didn’t though, putting it back in my pocket and leaving him on read.

“I thought I was going to die when Blake left me,” Ander suddenly said, not looking at me. “I’d planned our whole future. I wanted to make sure Kate got into a good high school, and find us a nice house where we could all be happy. Blake and I could’ve possibly found a new car club or something, and Kate could’ve made friends and not have to worry about getting kidnapped or shot at on her way to school.”

“If it was so picture perfect, why did she leave?” I was a little blunt, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“It took me a while to figure it out. Blake would get lonely and come back for some fun, but it was obvious after the fourth time that she couldn’t love me and keep Kate safe. She could be herself around me, I didn’t care that I was helping her with her sister, and I’d protect both of them with my life. The problem was, Blake likes adrenaline and danger, which was what put us together in the first place. I respected her choice to stop chasingthat high and focus on settling down for her sister’s sake, but then that itch would start and she’d want the danger again.”

I frowned, turning in my seat to watch him. “It’s not your fault that she can’t make up her mind. She either wants you, or she doesn’t.”

“She does, and that’s why she left. I tempt her away from the life she’s trying so hard to fight for. She doesn’t want cop raids, gunfire, and a target on their heads.”

“She knew what she was in for with you from the start.”

“Yeah, and she loved it. Then, she became her sister’s guardian. She can’t put herself first anymore, which means the joy of an illegal adrenaline rush with possible death isn’t a thrill she can risk having now. Not when she has a kid relying on her.”

“What happens if she comes back?”

He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “I’d like to tell you I’d send her packing, I know she’ll only leave again, but I honestly don’t know if I can. Not a lot of people get me, but she did. It’s hard to let go of that sometimes, even when you know it’s the right thing to do.”

“You know, if you lost some of your arrogance and the whole mafia thing, I think maybe you could make someone very happy,” I offered, his mouth curving into a small smile.

“That means a lot coming from the queen of the Anti-Ander Club.”

“I only hate you because every time one of the people I love were hurt, it was tied to you. You were there when Reid died in that ambulance. You saw what your actions?—”

“I’m more than happy for you to put blame on me if it helps you, but I didn’t force Reid into that car. I never did. It’s my fault that I didn’t deal with problem drivers, sure, but Reid is an adult who chose to race,” he said sharply, his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel. “I was there when he died, yes. I blame myself regularly for that, so I understand your frustration.Hating me won’t change anything though, and Reid will always be a friend to me. So will Logan, as well as Zav.”

“If it wasn’t for you?—”

“Tell me I’m the reason he crashed,” he bit out, the seat belt biting into my shoulder as he pulled over and slammed on the brakes, turning his angry eyes on me. “Go on. Tell me.”

My mouth opened with the intention of telling him, but I closed it again. It wasn’t his fault that Reid chose to race, I just wanted it to be.

Ander raked a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath. “Almost losing Reid and Riley in those races were what made me shut them down. I’ve never really had friends I could trust, Raven. I found my family in a bunch of adrenaline junkies who wanted to race cars. If I could’ve switched with you that day when you got run down, I would have. You might hate me, but I don’t hate you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe, even if that means dying.”

I stared at him, not knowing what to say, and he made things easier by putting the car in gear and starting to drive, not speaking again.

Once we arrived, I climbed out and shut the door, not expecting him to follow.

“You know you’re not staying, right?” I said dryly, and he rolled his eyes.

“I know. Just walking you to the door.”

“What a gentleman.”

“Hardly.”

A car pulled in, and I cursed when I turned to see it was Beckett’s, her door swinging open and a gun already in her hand.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” she demanded as she walked towards us, Ander instantly putting himself between us.

“Morning, Beckett,” he said cheerfully, his entire attitude changing when she aimed the gun at his forehead. “Get that out of my face.”

“You vanished without a trace just before the goddamn mafia strolled into town. You think we didn’t notice that?”

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