Page 41 of Saving You Losing Me

“What hold?”

Mom is sobbing and that shocks me more than anything because she never shows emotion.

“He has a file on me.” Dad’s voice breaks.

“What are you talking about?” My mind is spinning.

“Several, well, liaisons have been recorded, and he has put pressure on Vikki and bullied her into bringing charges against me.”

“Where is she?”

I’m fearful for the only person I trust in this house and mom says with a slight cough, “She left this morning. She is now working for Charles Santobello.”

“Oh my God.”

The full horror of my situation is reaching out and socking me hard and my legs give way as I tumble back on the couch. “No.”

Tears blind me as my father pleads, “This will all stop if you agree to marry Michael and give up your relationship with Atom.”

Dad sounds almost regretful as he says his name and adds, “Do it for him, Clara. If you truly love him, which I believe you do, set him free to live the life he is dreaming of because if you agree, Michael has promised he will never touch Atom or his associates.” He adds, “He will get over it. He’ll move on and you will be happy with Michael.”

“What makes you think that?” My words are said with no emotion because I no longer have any. My world is crumbling as reality hits hard and mom says with a sad apology in her voice, “Because it’s what women in our position do.”

I wonder what she means by that, and she shrugs. “When I was your age, I was in a similar position. I had a guy I was keen on and my father put a stop to it. He made a deal with your grandfather and neither your father nor I had a say in the matter. The wedding was arranged and because we were brought up to respect our parent’s decisions, we went along with it.”

My world crumbles as she continues. “I suppose that’s why your father has affairs and I’m not sugar coating this—so do I.”

A flicker of a smile ghosts her face as she shrugs. “Michael will be the same. He will have many, I’m sure, and after a while, you will stray too. It’s what happens when you enter an arranged marriage. It’s called turning a blind eye.”

“But I’m in love with an incredible man. Why can’t you understand that?”

My voice breaks because it’s how I feel inside. Broken and shattered to the core.

Mom surprises me by reaching for my hand and tears stream from her eyes as she says with regret, “I’m sorry, Clara. We tried to educate you in this world. This is how we live. Favors, arrangements and deals behind closed doors that are for the greater good, eventually. Your love for Atom is undeniable, but after a few years will you be so enamored of that life? You are used to more, and it’s a sad fact that normal living will never be enough for people like us. Wealth is a drug that infects even the happiest pairing. When one person is used to a certain standard, the rot sets in when the love dims a little. Don’t drag this out and save Atom’s life because I’m in no doubt the Santobellos came to this town for a different reason than we first thought.”

“What are you talking about?”

I wipe the tears from my face that won’t stop flowing and dad hisses. “Charles Santobello made his fortune by exploiting others. Protection money, drugs and prostitution, all disguised behind sharp suits and apparent respectability. His son Michael is his heir, and they are used to getting what they want. They have decided you are the perfect wife to hide behind. You come from a respected family in town and are considered the prize in society. The deal is non-negotiable all the time they have the power to ruin lives and you would be wise to go along with this and pray they destroy one another along the way.”

He sighs heavily and takes a seat on the couch opposite, throwing a despairing look in my mother’s direction.

“I won’t pretend this is the right way.” He says huskily. “It never was and I wish more than anything this hadn’t happened. I can’t pretend I am happy with your choice, but even I realize Atom is better for your heart. But not for your head. If you choose to refuse, then Atom, his life and those of everyone he knows hang in the balance and if you love him as much as you say you do, then set him free and make the best of a bad situation.”

“A bad situation.”

That statement makes me laugh. “Is that what we’re calling this now? My life is a bad situation? I’m entering hell holding the devil’s hand and you’re standing there pushing me from behind. Sacrificing your only daughter to save what? Your reputation, your standing in society and your wealth. What about me? What about my life? What I want? It appears the only one that doesn’t matter here is me.”

I stand and regard them with bitter disappointment. “I’ll consider it. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m tired and would like to grab some sleep so I can think straight.”

I say nothing more and head out of the room and don’t look back.

They don’t see the tears falling down my face like two raging rivers. They don’t witness the devastation to my heart as I face losing the only man I will ever love and don’t regard my world crumbling as I accept I have no other choice. Michael Santobello will be my husband whether I like it or not and the only reason is to save Atom’s life and give him the opportunity to live his dream. He will get over it. He’ll move on and I’m the fool who will be watching him from afar, wishing with all my heart I was living it with him.

CHAPTER 22

ATOM

There is so much to do. When I left Clara, I snatched a few hour’s sleep and then spent the rest of the day packing up the house.

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