Page 43 of Saving You Losing Me

I’m upbeat as I cut the engine and wait for my dark angel to join me. It’s how I picture her. She was the person responsible for the naming of my club and is an integral part of my life.

However, when I note the expression on her face as she heads my way, my world tilts on its axis because it’s as if she has frozen her features into disinterest.

“Hey.” I smile but don’t get one back in return and, if anything, she won’t look me in the eye.

“What’s up?”

I’m concerned because something must have happened.

“There’s no easy way of saying this.” Her voice is unemotional, and it’s as if I’m a passing tradesman at the wrong entrance.

I regard her with a beating heart because something is telling me I’m not gonna like what comes out of her mouth.

“Well, um, the thing is–”

She takes a deep breath and then says quickly, “I’m getting married.”

It takes a moment to register her words and I wonder if she’s prankin’ me. However, that thought is soon squashed when I note the hard edge to her expression and the tense set to her jaw.

“Married?” I can’t form any other word and she nods.

“I’m sorry, Atom, well, I loved what we had but my life, well, it’s different to yours and I must face facts.”

“It was fine yesterday. What’s changed?”

I hide the pain I’m suffering right now because I’ve always been a master at disguising my emotions, and she shrugs. “A lot happened today, and it opened my eyes. It made me realize that I could never be truly happy being in your world, so I’m ending this before anybody gets hurt.”

I want to be physically sick. This isn’t happening and I’m still half hoping it’s not and she’ll laugh and tell me otherwise.

“You say you’re getting married.”

The words drag like razors through my lips and I growl, “Who are you marrying, Clara?”

“Michael Santobello.”

She won’t meet my eye and a rush of pure hatred engulfs me when I picture that creep anywhere near her.

“Is he forcing you?” I kind of think he must be, and she shakes her head vehemently.

“I had a choice. I chose him.”

As she says the words, she stares deep into my eyes and I see nothing but disinterest thrown back at me. It’s as if she has cut my chest open and my heart is bleeding out on the floor. She had a choice, and she chose him. It doesn’t make sense.

“I don’t believe you.”

I’m hoping this is true and she yells, “I chose him, Atom! Why can’t you understand that? Open your eyes. This was a summer fling. That’s all it could ever be and thanks for the memories, but it’s over now.”

Her words cause whiplash to my soul.A summer fling.

Razor’s words are haunting me good and proper, as I remember his warning. They went on a date. They were always matched. I thought I was good enough for her. I still do.

I close my eyes against the tears that threaten to weaken me. I will not break. I won’t, but as I open them and see nothing but contempt thrown back in my face, I falter.

“We made a pact. I waited for you. It hasalwaysbeen you.”

I hate how weak this woman makes me and it hurts that she shrugs and dismisses what we had.

“I’m sorry, Atom, but, well, it would never have worked and we both know it. This is for the best and you will thank me one day. Anyway–” She draws in a deep breath. “I must go. My engagement party is tonight and I should get ready.”

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