Page 62 of Saving You Losing Me

We don’t socialize with them because Jared keeps his distance from Michael for obvious reasons. However, Anna is a sweetie who ignores the warnings she receives from the other moms regarding me and has become one of my closest friends. I note the concern in her eyes as she opens the door and sees me standing there holding my girl’s hands.

She merely smiles broadly and peers at the girls with a kind expression.

“Hey, cuties. Come inside, Ava and Alyssia are waiting in the playroom and there are some cookies in the oven with your name on them. You can take a few of them to school if you like.”

They squeal with excitement and yet before they run off, both girls squeeze my legs tightly and say together, “We love you, mommy.”

I drop to the ground and pull them both into my arms and for a second, breathe in their gorgeous scent, feeding off their innocence. They give me strength. They give me hope and they are the fire in my soul.

Tears threaten to reveal my inner pain but I blink them away and force a smile. “Be good girls. I’ll be here tomorrow to pick you up and hear about your adventures.”

They both press several kisses onto my face and as they run off to the playroom hand in hand, their soft voices float back at me.

“We love you mommy.”

A sob catches in my throat as my world disappears through an open door and Anna says kindly, “Are you okay, honey?”

I note the concern in her eye and wonder if my makeup has rubbed away a little, revealing the dark shadows under my eyes and the slight bruise placed there by Michael’s hand.

Part of me hesitates because a kind smile and warm words are not things I get very often. Nobody knows the shit I live with daily and if anything, most people in town try to avoid me if at all possible.

It’s why I’m so cold, aloof, and frozen inside and out. I have nobody. Just two little girls who I would die to protect.

However, Anna is the only one who may be in a position to help me and she obviously senses that because she jerks her head toward the kitchen.

“You know, cookies are a magical pick me up that works on any age. Paired with a coffee, they’ve been known to work miracles.”

I am so tempted. It would mean so much to unburden myself to this kind woman, but at what cost? Her husband doesn’t need any further ammunition against Michael and if I’m the one who causes him problems, it will end very badly for me.

It has been no different for the past ten years. We are invited to gatherings out of fear, not from any wish to form a social connection with us. The women tolerate me in case I have my husband’s ear and make life difficult for them. Michael’s mantra has always been to rule through fear and that extends to his home. He is a cruel, violent man, who hides it behind well-tailored suits and a winning smile. He can turn on the charm when required and switch immediately to a callous murderer.His best friend is Emilio D’Angelo and they work together like two vital parts of a well-oiled machine. A killing machine and on Michael’s orders Emilio does the dirty work.

I’ve never been comfortable around Emilio. His hard stare and cruel smile reveals he knows exactly the nature of my relationship with Michael. They have no respect for me and view me as an accessory. A respectable designer accessory who is fit for purpose now but disposable if my usefulness runs out.

Anna is watching me with a kind smile and I am so tempted, but reality checks my words and I smile regretfully.

“I’m sorry, it’s a kind offer, but I really should take the time to catch up with some errands. I appreciate it though, Anna.”

I flash her my warmest smile because I mean it. Kindness goes a long way with me, and I’ll definitely take her up on the offer if my plan doesn’t work out.

She will become my Plan B if you like and I pray to God that Plan A is successful because if it fails, I may not be around to even attempt Plan B.

I detect the relief in Anna’s eyes as her words tell a different story and as she waves me goodbye, I return to the car, my heart racing as I prepare to return home.

Michael should be out. He has golf and I’ll get a few hours to pack the cases with everything we need to make a fresh start somewhere else.

My heart sinkswhen I pull up at the gates and note the guards in a frenzy of activity. Why is he home? Something has happened. It’s as if things have changed and I’m surrounded by worried faces and a sense of urgency that spears dread through my heart. Does Michael know I’m planning on leaving him? Iwouldn’t put it past him to know every thought in my head and my fingers shake as I grab my purse and make to go inside.

My legs tremble as I pass Michael’s office and hear him yelling at someone. I stop and peer through a crack in the open doorway and watch him strike Emilio hard across the face. “You fucking worthless idiot!” he shrieks. “I have a mind to kill you.”

He stands with clenched fists and roars, “Fetch Dominic Riley! I’ve had enough of his double-crossing ways and I’ve a good mind to end him.”

Before I can move, Emilio bursts from the room and doesn’t catch my eye as he races past me as I shrink back against the wall. Before I can move, Michael flies from the office and catches me, and screams, “You fucking bitch! What did you hear?”

“Nothing. I swear.” My voice shakes and yet the fear in my eyes must tell another story and as he makes toward me, I turn to run but it’s to no avail as he grabs hold of me and turns, pushing me violently into his office.

My face connects with the wall and yet before I can even catch my breath, he grabs my hair and pulls it hard into his fist, snarling, “I know it was you who brought trouble to our door. You and that bitch, Tanya.Are you still in touch with her? Using her to get close to her disgusting brother. What’s the matter, Clara, aren’t I good enough for you? Do you honestly prefer a foul-mouthed tattooed beast of a man who fucks women and drinks himself to oblivion every day? Do you want that? To live as his whore instead of mine?”

He snarls, “I will fucking kill the lot of them. The Dark Angels had better start saying their prayers because I’m ending this obsession you have with that man. All bets are off because no dirty fucking biker is going to breathe in this town after I’ve set alight to their fucking souls while you watch them burn.”

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