Page 25 of Loving Jake

“Thanks, a lot,” she whispered. She tore her chin from his grasp and stepped away from him. She pushed her shoulders back and tilted her head proudly as she walked toward the bedroom door. Before she stepped through the doorway, she paused. He watched her clench her hands at her side before she turned around to glare at him. “I hope your suitcase keeps you warm at night, Jake. And that it’s there for you during the holidays, or when you’re sick, or when you’re too old to travel… I would have stuck by you through anything, Jake Taylor. But instead, you decided to break my heart. I would like to break yours in return, but obviously you don’t have one.”

Jake felt the slam of her bedroom door shake the entire second floor. “Damn,” he swore quietly and proceeded to punch his fist against the bedroom wall. He leaned his forehead on the wall. His arm rested above his head to brace his body. “Damn,” he repeated.

TEN

“Hello?” Kimberly asked groggily. She cradled the cell between her shoulder and ear while she struggled to untangle herself from the bed sheets. She pushed several strands of hair from her face, as she forced herself to keep from yawning into the receiver.

“Yes, this is Kimberly Urbane.” She held her hand over the mouthpiece to conceal the yawn she finally allowed to escape.

“What?” She sat up in bed, now fully awake.

“Paris? Milan? Today? Paris?” she repeated in an effort to try and think straight. What do I do? Her magazine editor needed her to cover runway shows in Paris and a magazine spread in Milan. She looked across her room into the mirror above her dresser. Crying half of the night had left her eyes swollen and with traces of mascara smeared beneath them.

“What? Yes, I’m still here. I’m sorry. I’m trying to recall my schedule for the next two weeks. It’s so last minute... yes, I realize you’re in a bind. Ah, ah, please give me a minute to think.” Kimberly gazed again at her reflection in the mirror. The aftermath of her argument with Jake the night before was evident in the dark circles under her eyes.

She felt as if she had gone through a war and lost. In a sense, she had. She heard Jake’s voice echo through her head,“Kim, I don’t love you.”She pushed back the pain that surfaced again in her heart, and she knew what her decision had to be. “I’ll do it,” she responded before she changed her mind.

“Yes, I can be ready in three hours. Thanks.” She disconnected the call in a daze. She had just received the opportunity of a lifetime for a fashion photographer, so where was the feeling of elation that was supposed to be overwhelming her? Where was the sensation of having ‘arrived’ in the world of fashion photography? It was non-existent, non-existent because she realized that she would rather stay at home with Jake than further her career in the photography world. Even though he may not love her, that didn’t mean her own feelings had changed overnight. She groaned as she got out of bed. She had a lot of things to do to get ready for her trip and only three hours before a car arrived to take her to the airport.

Two and half hours later, she carried her suitcases down the stairs, while she mentally ran through her checklist again to ensure she had packed everything she needed. She glanced at the thin gold watch on her wrist and decided that if she had forgotten anything, she would just have to buy it in Paris. It would bust her monthly budget if she spent over two hundred dollars, but she hadn’t been thinking clearly when she packed, and she knew that it was likely that something had been forgotten.

“Where is Jake?” She peered out the front door and down the street. The car arranged for her by the magazine was due at the house in thirty minutes, and neither Jake, nor Daisy, were anywhere to be found.

When she had found Daisy missing earlier that morning, she had assumed that Daisy was with Jake and not roaming the streets, and now she realized that she should have confirmed it. Shechecked behind the back of the closet door and saw that the dog’s leash was gone. That was as good of an indication as any that Jake had taken Daisy out for a walk. The fact that he had been gone long enough to walk the large St. Bernard to Los Angeles did not sit well with her. Jake and Daisy had been gone by the time she went downstairs to fix her first cup of coffee for the morning, and that had been two hours ago. He hadn’t left a note, nor had he answered any of her text messages.

Kimberly checked her watch again. She was on the verge of panic, when the back door opened. She whirled around at the sound and ran into the kitchen. “Jake, I’m glad you’re finally back. Where’s Daisy?”

“I left her out back. Her paws are muddy from our excursion in the park. I need to give her a bath.” His eyes reflected his surprise to find her speaking to him this morning, and they both knew it. If he was surprised now, wait until she told him about her trip. She clasped her hands together and found her palms were damp.

“Kim, what’s going on?”

Kimberly wondered if he had slept at all last night, or if the sound of her weeping throughout the night had kept him awake. She had tried to bury her sobs in her pillow, but the walls were thin, and there were times during the night that her heartbreak had overwhelmed her.

“Jake, you’re not going to believe it!” She forced her lips upward into a dazzling smile. How a fashion model could plaster a fake smile on her face for the cameras, sometimes for sixteen hours a day, was beyond Kim’s comprehension. One minute of the false pretense, and she wanted to let her lips sag into the deep scowl she had been wearing all morning. “My magazine editor called this morning while you were out with Daisy. She wants me to photograph some runway shows for the magazine, followed by some magazine spreads. One week inParis and the next in Milan.” She straightened her shoulders and forced herself to continue with her explanation. If she paused even for a minute, she wouldn’t be able to continue her pretend enthusiasm for the upcoming assignment.

“According to my editor, the photographer assigned to the project broke her leg skiing in Tahoe over the weekend and failed to call the magazine until this morning.”

“I see,” Jake responded as if he understood, although his eyes reflected something altogether different. “Isn’t this rather short notice?”

“Of course, it is Jake. But Paris and Milan? I may never have a chance like this again.” At least I hope I don’t. Paris, the City of Love? Of all places she could be going to after last night, it had to be one of the most romantic cities in the world. And Milan wasn’t much better. She would much rather stay at home, mope around the house, and pour her heart out to Daisy than fly anywhere. The dog was as good of a listener as any, and she certainly didn’t blab everything people told her. Kim sighed despairingly. “Daisy! Jake, I forgot about Daisy. I mean, if you wouldn’t mind, ah, do you think you could take care of her for me? I know it’s a lot to ask and if it’s too much trouble, I can always call Carly?—"

“Kim, it’s fine,” he interrupted and reassured her with a small smile. “I, I’m just having a hard time trying to understand why you took this assignment in the first place? You told me you don’t like doing runway shows.”

“I said that? Well, I guess I changed my mind.” She diverted her eyes to a place somewhere over his shoulder.

“I don’t think so,” Jake returned bluntly. “I think you took this job because of what happened between us last night. And if that’s the case Kim, don’t do it. I’ll leave. I can get a hotel room if you don’t want to be around me?—"

“Jake, don’t be ridiculous.” She laughed a bit too harshly forit to be genuine. She walked over to the refrigerator and took out a Coke to avoid looking at him. “Last night has nothing to do with me taking this assignment. I’ve just received the opportunity to cover several Ready-to-Wear runway shows in Paris and a magazine shoot in Milan. Ready-to-Wear is the big time for fashion. Top designers from all over the world will be presenting their lines, most of it mass merchandised throughout the world, and I’m going to be right in the middle of it taking pictures for one of the top fashion magazines in the country.” She took her time pouring the soft drink into her glass, anything to avoid facing him.

“This is an opportunity of a lifetime for me, Jake.” She shrugged and took a sip of her drink. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” It took every ounce of pride she contained in her 5’ 10” frame to keep from refuting her own lie. She had to do this. She didn’t have a choice. Jake didn’t love her, and somehow, she had to learn to deal with that cold, hard fact, even though her heart wanted to crumble into a million pieces because of it.

“Can I drive you to the airport?”

She glanced out the kitchen window. “No thanks, the magazine arranged a car for me.”

“Okay.”

She glanced back at him, and he stood near the back door in silence. He stared at her, and she squirmed under his intense scrutiny. He appeared to accept her decision, and all she could do was wish that he would beg her to stay. Her heart crumbled a little more. If only he would tell her that he had been lying, that he did love her and everything would be alright between them. She looked into the hazel eyes she had dreamed of gazing into for the rest of her life and realized he wouldn’t tell her the words she needed to hear. Not now, not ever.

---