Page 18 of A Raven Reformed

Her eyes looked at him appraisingly. “Would you really have stopped tonight, if I had asked you to?”

“Yes. Without a moment’s hesitation. And I always will.” It was important to him that she knew that.

She was quiet for a moment, probably trying to decide if she really believed him, but then she moved onto a different subject. “You told Jones that you had given it up all those years ago for me. What did you mean by that?”

He let out a long sigh. He had hoped she’d never even know about his struggles, but perhaps it was right that she did. “Back in the before times, as I like to call them. The time before we were officially betrothed, or at least before I had laid eyes upon you. I was lost at the bottom of a bottle most nights. To this day, I have no idea why your father chose me to be your husband. I wasn’t worth a damn. When I signed the contract, I didn’t even realize you were practically a baby. Too soused to read it properly, I imagine.” He huffed a cynical laugh at the memory, shame settling in his stomach. “It was quite a shock when I arrived, and Mr. Carlyle walked me in to look at you in a crib.”

Belle gasped. “You really didn’t know I was a child?”

Michael shook his head. “I knew you were not of age, so we wouldn’t be marrying immediately, but I had just assumed that meant fifteen or thereabouts.” Michael let out another long sigh. “It was probably for the best, in the long run. I was not capable of being a decent husband at the time. When I saw you, I knew I had to do better. I had to be better. I vowed to spend the next fifteen years doing my best to create a home and a life where you might be happy. Part of that meant giving up the booze.” Although, here he was, all these years later, and still hadn’t managed it. Not giving up the booze or creating a life where she would be happy.

“And was opening a gaming hell part of that plan too?” she teased.

“I wouldn’t have that without you, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“I was essentially in financial ruin, and then you came along, a beautiful, innocent child, with adorable, dark ringlets, and her thumb in her mouth, and you saved me.”

The smile that grew on her face was magical.

“With the first few installments I received from your father, I was able to restore Glenwood to what it is today. I needed to make sure you would have a good home when you eventually moved here. Then, when Ash asked if I’d like to open a gaming hell, your father’s money allowed me to purchase my share. And this place. I wouldn’t have any of it without you.”

“Well then.” Mischief danced in her eyes as she smiled. “You’re welcome.”

God she was beautiful. And apparently smart and funny to boot. He would never truly deserve to have her as his wife because she hadn’t chosen him, but he would try his best to give her a good life.

“Why was our betrothal kept secret from me? Did you never want to visit? To see what kind of woman I was becoming?”

Michael pulled in a deep breath and let it out slowly as he considered his answer. “Those questions are more complicated than you might think to answer, but I’ll try. I kept the betrothal from you because I thought you’d be happier that way. I didn’t want it hanging over your head your whole life, the knowledge that one day you’d have to wed a brutish, old earl from the other side of the world.” She laughed softly. “Perhaps I made the wrong choice.”

Belle nodded, quietly mulling over what he’d said. “I had never considered any of that. I just assumed it was your way of controlling me, of having more power, dropping into my life and expecting me to just accept it all.”

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes, Belle, and I’m sorry. The truth is, I still don’t know what the right answer was.”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure it was a mistake. Perhaps you were right to keep me ignorant of it, allowing me to live my life free of it all. It just never occurred to me that you may have done it out of kindness.” She shrugged. “The truth is, from the moment you arrived, I chose to not like you or give you a chance to explain or prove that you might be something other than what I imagined.” She paused for a moment, her gaze drifting over his face. “I suppose that’s why you stayed away, as well, to keep the secret?”

“Partly, yes. But there were other reasons, too. I was kept informed of important things in your life, so I wasn’t completely in the dark. I made sure you were cared for and received an adequate education and all of that, but—” He paused for a moment. How could he phrase it delicately? “The truth is, I was afraid if I knew you as a child, as my ward, it would make things awkward between us as man and wife.”

Belle’s mind began to work through his explanation. Her eyes widened and pink infused her cheeks as she understood. “As hard as it is for me to admit it, I think you were right, about all of it. But if you ever tell anyone I said that, I’ll deny every word of it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” She had no way of knowing how much relief her words brought him. For the first time in fifteen years, he felt as if he could breathe properly.

“Will you tell me what Rosie whispered in your ear before she left?”

She smiled shyly. “She said your bark is worse than your bite.”

“Well, I hope she was right.”

She shrugged. “Perhaps I like your bite.”

That surprised another laugh from him, and another blush glowed in her cheeks.

Michael leaned closer and brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Her lush pink lips called to him like a siren’s song. “May I kiss you, Belle?”

“Yes, my lord,” she said playfully.

“Mmmm. Careful, little miss. You have no idea what those words do to me.”

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