Page 48 of A Raven Reformed

He stopped.

Letting out a long sigh, he lowered the bottle and pushed the cork back into place. Alcohol wasn’t going to fix this.

He remembered the hurt that had crossed her eyes when she’d realized he was accusing her of being unfaithful. At the time, he’d stupidly thought it was guilt, confirming what she’d done. Only once he’d spoken to Isaac did he realize how wrong he’d been. He had no doubt about the man’s truthfulness. Right now, he hated himself for doubting her loyalty, almost as much as he hated himself for the rest of it.

He left the club. The chilly air prickled his skin as he walked. At some point in the last two days, his body seemed to have lost the ability to warm itself. His muscles shivered violently by the time he finally made it home. But it wasn’t home, anymore. He wasn’t sure when that had changed, but now his home was wherever Belle was. So why was he here? As he climbed the stairs to his bedroom, his mind replayed the time he’d made this trek with Belle in tow. The cautious curiosity that had filled her eyes as he’d slowly undressed her. He entered his bedroom with a long sigh. He had to make this right somehow.

As he walked toward the bed, he glimpsed his reflection in the mirror. The image stopped him in his tracks. Jesus, he looked like a goddamned tramp. Black circles ringed his bloodshot eyes that were sunken in his dirty, unshaven face. The image of Belle with her eyes clamped shut flashed in his mind, once more.

“Why?” he shouted at the ceiling. Why had he behaved like a bloody brute? Why had he wanted to force her to accept him?

He knew why, though. He hadn’t been angry with Belle. He hadn’t even been angry that she may have taken a lover. He’d been terrified that she may have chosen someone else, when she’d never been given the opportunity to choose him.

But rather than giving her the chance to choose, he’d forced her, or very nearly, anyway. He’d been so busy trying to control everything, forcing her to marry him, forcing her to accept his life, he’d never even given her the opportunity to choose any of it. In so many ways, he’d made her his prisoner, just as she’d said he had. He desperately wanted her to choose him, but because he’d never allowed her to, he couldn’t trust that she actually would.

He looked back to his reflection with a humorless laugh. No one would choose that.

First, he had to sleep. He pulled the cord from his disheveled hair allowing it to fall around his shoulders. Slowly, he removed his rumpled clothing and climbed into bed. For a long time, a part of him had resented the marriage that he’d in many ways also been forced into. But he’d had fifteen years to come to grips with it before they married. He’d given her two days. From this moment, he was choosing Belle. Choosing her with his whole heart and soul, and he would give her as long as she needed to choose him in return. Hopefully one day she would.

ChapterFourteen

Michael arrived at Glenwood just before the sun peeked above the horizon. He had a few things to do before begging for Belle’s forgiveness.

When he eventually entered the drawing room, he wasn’t surprised to see Patrick and Ash, lounging comfortably, coffee in hand.

“You’re back.” Patrick held his cup aloft in greeting. “And aside from that bruise on the side of your face, you look much improved.”

Ash silently studied him from across the room.

“I got some much-needed sleep.”

Patrick raised his brow. “You could have done that in your own bed, you know.”

“I did do it in my own bed. Just not the one that’s here.”

Ash uncrossed his legs and sat forward. “You know you’re going to have hell to pay for that, right? Belle is not happy with you for leaving.”

He nodded. “I’m fully prepared to grovel.”

“Get yourself some coffee and have a seat. I’m glad to have a chance for the three of us to talk without Giles around.”

“Has Giles done something wrong?” Michael asked.

“Just—” Ash waved to the coffee. Michael poured himself a cup and sat, just as he’d been instructed.

“I wanted to have a chance to talk business, without any extras.” Michael nodded and Ash continued.

“Now that the two of you are both married and busy with other things, we need to bring in some more help. Ideally, in the form of more partners.”

Michael hadn’t given it a lot of thought, but Ash was right. They wouldn’t be able to sustain the needed coverage the way it was.

“What do you think about Giles?” Ash asked.

Michael shrugged. “The truth is, I don’t know him all that well. But he has certainly proved his loyalty and willingness to help over the last few days.”

“Agreed,” Patrick chimed in. “I think he would fit well with us.”

“Good,” Ash said decisively. “If he’s interested, we’ll offer him a trial period and see how he does.”

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