Page 65 of A Raven Reformed

One of the stalls still had some old hay or straw inside. Using her feet, she brushed it into the best pile she could manage. At least it might get her off the cold ground, and she could rest for a little while. She laid her exhausted body down on top of it and curled herself into a tight ball, pressing a hand over her stomach.

“I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you, Michael. I was afraid. I love you,” she whispered again before sleep claimed her.

* * *

“I’m not a bloody lost lamb,” Michael grumbled as Patrick, Ash, Giles, and Isaac herded him into the drawing room. The only reason he’d even allowed them to do that was because Ash had threatened to have him dragged in again if he didn’t come inside willingly.

“Your lips are blue from cold, and you haven’t slept in far too long, Michael.” Ash poured a cup of tea after the tray was deposited by a footman. He shoved the dish into Michael’s hands. “Drink.”

“You’re one to talk, Ash. You’re not even supposed to be on that leg, and you've been hobbling around out there with us for hours on end.”

“Drink.”

His numb fingers struggled to grasp the small handle, so he wrapped his hand around the cup, instead. The tea scorched his icy lips and when he lowered it, the cup rattled against its saucer. He forced down the rest of the hot liquid. Perhaps it would help fight the chill from the inside.

A sudden explosion of rage surged through him, and he hurled the china against the wall where it shattered. “Where the hell is she?” He looked desperately at the other men in the room. Their eyes were all filled with endless sympathy, but there was nothing for them to say.

“This is all my bloody fault.” Michael’s body trembled so violently he’d soon lose his ability to stand. He collapsed into the nearest chair and pounded his fists against its arms. They’d been looking for her for such a long time already. The impenetrable fog had made the whole effort impossible enough, but darkness had fallen hours ago, and even though they all knew it was pointless, they’d continued with their search. What if they didn’t find her? Pain like he’d never known clawed at his heart.

Ash crossed the room and crouched down. “I know you’re angry and scared, but?—”

“You don’t know anything!” Michael cut him off mid-sentence. “You and all of your ridiculous rules. You’ll never allow yourself to get close enough to any woman to even begin to understand what I’m feeling.” The words were arrows intended to maim, and the brief flash of hurt in Ash’s eyes was confirmation that they had hit their target.

Patrick stepped forward then. “That was a low blow, Michael.”

Ash held up a hand. “It’s alright, Patrick.”

“No it isn’t!” Michael bellowed. His resolve crumbled and tears stung the corners of his eyes. “No it isn’t.” A sob broke from him, and he dropped his head into his hands, digging his fingers painfully into his scalp.

Patrick and Ash both immediately pressed a hand to his back. They were trying to comfort him, but there was no comforting him out of this. With an almighty effort, he pulled himself together. He wiped the tears from his face and took a deep breath. He peered at Ash’s pitying face. “I have to keep looking for her, Ash.” His breathing hitched. “She’s pregnant.”

Ash closed his eyes for a moment before he spoke. “We’re not giving up, Michael,” he reassured him. “We just need a break. We all need a couple hours to sleep and warm up and then we’ll get back out there.”

Michael nodded. As always, Ash was right. He wasn’t going to do anyone any good if he didn’t rest for a bit.

“Hopefully, the fog will dissipate some during that time,” Ash continued. “And if we haven’t found her by the time the telegraph office opens, I’ll send for reinforcements.”

Michael looked up into the faces of his friends. They all had tired circles around their eyes and ruddy cheeks from the cold.

“I’m so grateful to all of you for sacrificing and helping me through all of this, even if I'm not very good at showing it.”

Patrick squeezed his shoulder. “Let’s get some rest.”

On his way out of the room, Michael placed a hand on Isaac’s shoulder. Words failed him. He was so grateful for the way he’d stepped up, after everything. With a sigh, he patted the man’s shoulder and hoped that would convey what he was feeling.

Isaac nodded his understanding. “We’ll find her, boss.”

Ash walked with Michael all the way to his chambers, probably just to make sure he actually went, but he was glad for the opportunity to have a private word.

“Patrick was right. What I said was a low blow. I was out of line, and I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, Michael, but you needn’t be.” He turned to Michael’s valet. “I want your word that if he tries to leave, you will alert me.”

Jones, ever the loyal servant, looked to Michael. The memory of Belle giving the man orders appeared in his mind and it nearly broke him. He reminded himself that taking a rest was so he could better help her. He wasn’t abandoning her.

He shook his head at Jones. “You havemyword, Ash.”

“Even better. Now rest, Michael. Several servants are on watch and will wake us all in three hours.”

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