Page 14 of A Raven Returns

“Of course,” he said, throwing back the last of his wine. “I understand the pair of you were caught out in the storm last night. I’m sure you’re eager to sleep in a warm bed tonight.”

Ash didn’t miss the innuendo in the man’s words. “Eager, indeed.”

“I’ll bid you goodnight, then, Mrs. Lawrence. I hope to see you again soon.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Warwick.”

The truth was, Gwen had been incredible. She’d put Warwick at ease in a way Ash never would have been able to do on his own. But as he escorted her to her rooms, he couldn’t help but ask himself whether he was being protective of her or possessive. He had no business being possessive, as she wasn’t his to possess. And yet, there was at least a part of him that longed for her to be. That was the part of himself he had to contain at all costs.

Mary was just warming Gwen’s bed when they entered. “My lord.” She curtseyed and waited to see if he wanted her to stay or go.

He ignored her and instead spoke to Gwen. “Sleep well,” he said, squeezing her hand.

“What? No goodnight kiss?” She pouted her lips, putting on a show for the maid. The little minx had trapped him. Laughter danced in her eyes as he struggled. She knew exactly what she was doing. She’d always been a tease, even when she was at Raven House. He couldn’t very wellnotkiss her or the entire household would hear about it before he even drifted off to sleep.

He tugged her hand, pulling her in against him. “I wouldn’t dream of depriving you of it, my dear.” One didn’t kiss one’s mistress chastely, so he didn’t start slow or gentle. He claimed her mouth roughly, wrapping his hand in a firm grip around her nape. An unexpected explosion of desire rocked him. Parting his lips, he hungrily devoured her mouth. It quickly became apparent that she didn’t have much experience in kissing such as this, but he couldn’t just stop. He had to see it to its end now. Arousal bloomed as he traced her lips with his tongue. She gasped, and he plunged his tongue into her mouth, tasting the wine she’d drunk with dinner. My God, it was like heaven. She whimpered quietly and he slowly pulled himself away. Dazed desire clouded her eyes as she looked up at him, her chest heaving with rapid breaths. Her hands were clamped onto his shoulders and she swallowed.

“Goodnight,” he said, and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. He had to get away from her before he lost all control. He strode through her dressing room and into his own. He closed the door and leaned back against the wooden surface. His cane nearly fell out of his shaking fingers. What was he doing? This wasn’t right. She hadn’t known what she’d signed herself up for, teasing him about a goodnight kiss. And how had she been married for a year and never been kissed properly? Christ. At least she hadn’t been afraid. Her whimper had been one of longing, not alarm. That sweet sound would undoubtedly haunt him for the rest of his days.

Benson entered the dressing room from Ash’s bedroom. A smile lit his face when he saw Ash, and he bowed. “Good evening, my lord.”

It was just the distraction he needed. He slid his mask of calm restraint back into place. “I’m glad you made it, Benson.”

“I’m pleased to be here, my lord. Are you ready to prepare for bed?”

Ash nodded and moved to the center of the room where Benson could help him to undress. He forced his thoughts away from Gwen. Or, at least, he tried to. It seemed to be a losing battle.

When Benson removed his shirt, he sucked in a gasp. Ash turned to see him two steps back, a hand to his chest, mouth agape. He’d grown so used to the scars across his back, he forgot just how disturbing they might be to look at. And of course, most of them weren’t there when Benson had been thrown out all those years ago. When Benson had gone, his father had taken over the beatings himself. He’d had a leather strap he liked to wield, but would often just use whatever was to hand, and had no compunction about scars or long term damage to Ash’s body. Not uncommonly his implement of choice was the cane that Ash still carried to this day. His constant reminder of what he strove not to be.

“My God,” Benson uttered. “I’m so sorry, my dear boy.”

Ash placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. “None of this is your fault, Benson. And as you can see, the wounds have all healed. I’m no longer the frightened boy I was.”

“But if I’d just continued to do as he’d demanded, perhaps I could have spared you some of what must have been unbearable agony.”

Ash shook his head. “At what cost to your soul? Besides, as I said before, there was no stopping him. He was a monster and we all suffered at his hand, including you.”

Benson nodded, but guilt still filled his watery eyes.

“Benson, you did the best you could in a horrific situation, and in case I haven’t been clear enough, I forgive you.”

Benson closed his eyes and stood silently for a long moment before exhaling a long, shaky sigh. “Thank you, my lord. I’m glad you’re here now, a man deserving of this title.”

“Well, I don’t know about that. We both know the title was never meant to be mine, but I’m glad the brute died anyway. It’s just unfortunate I was too much of a coward to help him on his way before he caused so much damage.”

He had tried to stand up to his father one time, when he was just fourteen years old. In his resulting tirade, the man had beaten his mother to death. Ash never again failed to submit to him after that day, even after he was grown and could easily have overpowered him.

Cold seeped through his body as the images of his mother’s battered face flashed through his mind. If only there was a way to erase them for good. Reliving that horrible event would certainly never bring her back. Not that he missed her. He’d hardly ever seen her as a child, but she still deserved so much better than what she’d endured. No one deserved that.

The warmth of Benson’s hand on his bare shoulder brought him out his nightmarish daydream.

“You did the best you could, my boy.” Benson quickly shook his head. “Apologies, my lord. I should not address you so.”

Ash smiled approvingly. “You most certainly should. Just not around any of the other staff. At least, not for now. Hopefully I’ll be able to wrap up this dreadful business quickly so I can put this whole charade to rest.”

* * *

Gwen had tried her best to hide just how affected she’d been by that kiss while Mary was around, but now that the maid was gone and she lay awake in her bed, she pressed her fingertips to her sensitive lips. They were swollen and still tingled from his touch. No one had ever kissed her like that before. She hadn’t even known such a thing was possible. Her nipples grew hard as she remembered the feel of Ash’s tongue plunging into her mouth. Why did her body long for him?

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