Page 15 of A Raven Returns

Gwen had always submitted to Greg and allowed him the use of her body. He was her husband, after all. Or, at least, she’d believed him to be. Over time, the act had become less painful, but she’d never felt a desire for it. In recent months, it had only ever followed punishment, so the act itself had begun to feel like a punishment. More often than not, he’d simply pushed himself into her body while she was still bent over his desk and then sent her away as soon as he’d finished. She couldn’t envision Ash ever doing that. For some reason, she even imagined she might enjoy the act with him. She certainly had enjoyed that kiss. He obviously hadn’t been happy about being forced into it, but didn’t seem to dislike the kiss itself. Perhaps she could find another way of convincing him to do it again.

Gwen’s mind continued to relive every second of that kiss, over and over again, refusing to let her sleep. She didn’t mind, but it was making her body feel things she’d never before experienced. Warmth grew in her belly and between her thighs. What did it mean?

A shout tore her from her wanton thoughts. She sat up, staring into the darkness. Another muffled groan sounded through the silence. It had to be Ash. Gwen pushed the blankets aside and climbed out of the bed. She crept through her dressing room to the adjoining door. Sporadic sounds still issued from the other side, so she tapped quietly.

“My lord?” she said, in case there was a servant on the other side of the door, but there was no response.

“No!”

The shout startled her. She opened the door slowly and was met with continued darkness. Carefully, she moved across his dressing room, feeling her way around unfamiliar obstacles. Fortunately, once she reached his bedroom, dying embers in the fireplace and the moonlight that sneaked in around the curtains provided enough light to make out his shape on the bed.

He thrashed, throwing his arm out across the pillow. “No! Please!” His voice was tortured. “Please no! I’m sorry! Please!” The sound of his desperate anguish made her heart pound.

Gwen rushed to the bed and grabbed hold of his hand. “Ash,” she whispered, but he didn’t respond and only fought harder, ripping his hand out of her grasp.

She tried again to grab his hand, but he was flailing violently. Finally, out of desperation, she threw herself on top of him and yelled, “Ash!”

He sat bolt upright, and she flung her arms around him to keep from toppling over backwards. “It’s alright, Ash. It’s just a dream. It was a dream, Ash. I’m here.”

His entire body quaked. “Gwen?”

“Yes, Ash. I’m here. It was only a dream.” She could feel countless ridges beneath her palm as she rubbed the bare skin of his back. She didn’t want to think about what they probably were. The source of the nightmare, no doubt.

He gently pushed her back. “You can’t be here, Gwen.” Sweat glistened on his skin in the dim light.

“Hush, Ash.” She wrapped her arms around him, once more, and planted herself more firmly in his lap.

“You need to go, Gwen. This isn’t?—”

“I said hush.”

He continued to shake, his breathing labored, but he didn’t push her away again. After a time, he slowly wrapped his arms around her and simply held her. His warmth easily permeated the thin cotton of her nightgown, and his spicy scent filled her nostrils. She rubbed a hand over his temple as he settled his head against her shoulder.

Her heart ached. Ash was always so strong, never showing a moment of weakness, always firmly in control of himself and everything around him. These must have been unimaginable horrors to break him, even in his dreams.

They sat unmoving and silent for a very long time. For once, she was providing him strength, support, and comfort. He’d always been the one to save everyone else, and she was so glad that tonight, he was allowing her this.

Slowly, he lifted his head and gazed into her eyes. The shaking had subsided and his breathing had calmed. He looked lost as he stared at her, as if he wasn’t sure how to respond to her kindness. As if it were the first time he’d ever been shown any, but that couldn’t be. He brushed her hair back and tucked it behind her ear before gently holding her neck. He dropped his forehead softly against hers and closed his eyes, allowing himself a deep breath. It caressed her skin as he exhaled. Gwen would happily stay in this moment forever, with this man, and his warmth and his tenderness.

“Gwen.”

“Shhh.” She reached between them and touched a finger against his lips. He was going to tell her to leave again, and she wasn’t about to abandon him.

He pressed a light kiss against the finger and slowly raised his head. “Thank you.” His voice was barely more than a whisper, but she could sense the depth of his gratitude. It came straight from his soul.

You’re welcome didn’t seem to articulate how she felt, so instead, she took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips. She placed a lingering kiss against the back and breathed in, his alluring scent intoxicating. It brought her a sense of security and safety.

“You need to get some sleep, Gwen. I’m sorry I woke you.”

Gwen shook her head. “No.”

One corner of his mouth ticked up. “No?”

“No,” she repeated.

He chuckled then, and it warmed her to see the pain disappearing from his eyes. “No, what?”

“I’m not leaving you tonight, Ash.”