Page 11 of A Raven Returns

“Ash,” she said, shaking her head. “Can’t you ever just let someone help you?”

He ignored her question. “Are you sure, Gwen? I don’t want you to do it if you’re uncomfortable with any of it.”

“Of course I’m sure, Ash. I’m happy to do or be anything you need.”

He reached across for her hand and squeezed it. “Thank you. Let’s have something to eat, and then we’ll head into town. Lord Ashdown’s mistress would never be seen in a flour sack of a dress like that one.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to disappoint his lordship.”

He squeezed her hand again before getting to his feet. “Well then, Mrs. Lawrence, shall we?” He held out his arm and she allowed him to lead her from the room. She would gladly play the role of his mistress if it meant spending more time with him. Her stomach clenched as they made their way toward the dining room. What did that say about her? Until yesterday, she’d thought herself married. She’d made vows. Yet here she was, eagerly anticipating her time with another man.

Was Greg out looking for her even now?

Ash looked down at her hand, which she’d gripped tightly onto his arm without even realizing it. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her temple, then whispered into her ear.

“I promise we’ll talk about whatever this is, as soon as we’re alone.” He trailed his finger down her neck and along her shoulder, drawing out a shiver, even though she knew the caress was only for the benefit of the watching servants.

He escorted her to the chair to the left of his before seating himself at the head of the table. He ignored every servant that approached, but Gwen saw their trepidation.

Ash picked up a grape and held it to her lips. A flutter of excitement hummed through her as she took it between her teeth, his fingertips just brushing her lips as they closed around the fruit. Somehow, when he’d asked her to pretend to be his mistress, she’d only taken that to mean she’d not deny it. She hadn’t realized there’d be this kind of interaction involved. Ash had never so much as flirted with her in all the time she’d lived at Raven House. She, on the other hand, had never ceased flirting with him. She’d taken pleasure in watching him squirm. Perhaps he was paying her back for that now. Well, two could play at that game.

She slipped her hand under the table and placed it on his knee. His pupils dilated as she slid it slowly up his thigh and his throat worked with a swallow. His eyes narrowed in warning, but she simply quirked up a brow, daring him to stop her. The fabric of his trousers tightened beneath her fingers as his arousal grew and she felt a moment of triumph.

But then panic flashed in his eyes.

She quickly moved her hand, placing it over his own on top of the table, squeezing her apology.

She could hear the words as the corners of his eyes crinkled with a small smile, ‘you don’t have to apologize to me’, but she squeezed again to say, ‘yes I do’. She’d never intended to make him uncomfortable. Well, perhaps she had a little, but seeing fear in his eyes made her heart hurt for him. He was so strong, it was hard to imagine him scared of anything. Maybe there was more behind his rules than she realized.

When they climbed into his carriage a short time later, he sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, but as soon as the door was shut, he closed the curtains and moved to the opposite seat, taking his warmth with him.

“I’m so sorry, Gwen. If you’re too uncomfortable, we can stop. Perhaps I can escort you down to London and come back on my own, once you’re safely settled at Raven House.”

“Stop it, Ash. I’m not the one who is uncomfortable.”

He tipped his head. “Your hand that clamped onto my arm earlier would suggest otherwise.”

“That was different.” She shook her head. “My thoughts in that moment weren’t even about you.”

“What were they about, then?”

She folded her arms across her chest. “I will tell you, but only if you promise to answer my questions, as well. And not with your usual dodges. If you’re going to expect honesty from me, I deserve the same in return.” She wanted to know more about what he was doing here and why he’d stayed away so long.

He nodded, seeming to mull over her words. “Fair enough.”

“Promise me, Ash. And promise you won’t try to weasel your way around what I’m asking. I know you.”

He took her hand in his and looked into her eyes. “I promise.” He sat back in his seat, resting his cane on his lap. “So tell me, if it wasn’t me, then what had you frightened, Gwen?”

Her heart began to pound again as her mind brought up the question. “What if he’s looking for me?” Her fingers fidgeted with the fabric of her skirt.

“You don’t need to be afraid, Gwen. You’re with me now. I will never let him hurt you again.” A muscle ticked in his jaw, and she didn’t doubt for a second that he would protect her.

“But what of my wedding vows?”

He let out a sad sigh. “I’m sorry, Gwen, but they weren’t real.”

“Yes, but I didn’t know that. I threw myself at you, quite literally, and didn’t feel an ounce of shame when you had your hands wrapped around my bare backside. In fact, I quite enjoyed it. What kind of person does that make me?”

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