Page 44 of A Raven Returns

“Not yet, but we’ll find him, Ash.”

He was growing impatient. He wanted to make the man suffer for hurting Gwen. His angel. He couldn’t seem to stop thinking of her that way. But she wasn’t his, in any way, anymore.

His bed was cold without her in his arms and he was agitated. He’d seen her sadness. Oh, she’d tried her best to hide it from him, to spare him from the guilt she’d known he would feel. But he could see it, a shadow deep in her eyes, the sparkle growing less bright as the day went on and they traveled farther away from Woodburn Hall. He’d wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright. But that was one of the few things he simply couldn’t do, and it killed him inside. He had so much power and so many connections. He could move mountains when he brought all of his resources to bear, but he couldn’t give her what she needed.

She needed someone who was whole. Someone who wasn’t scarred inside and out. Someone who was respectable and didn’t own a gaming hell. Someone who wasn’t him. And yet, the thought of her with someone else, grated at his heart and turned his stomach. He rolled over and pounded a fist into his pillow. Maybe it didn’t matter. She’d said she didn’t want to marry again, and perhaps she wouldn’t.

He sat up in bed, his elbows on his knees, fingers gripped into his hair. Sleep was not going to happen, regardless of how tired he was. As he felt the scars stretch tight across his back, his mind replayed the events of last night. Was it really just last night? He could still feel her soft lips against his skin. Her tender affection helping his heart to begin to heal. But now it was breaking all over again. He sighed.

Something had to break, so it might as well be his heart. It could not be his will.

ChapterFourteen

Somehow, Gwen had slept right through Daisy’s return in the early hours of the morning. The sun was shining brightly around the edges of the curtains. The blanket covered every inch of Daisy except for her nose. Even her eyes were covered. They’d all gotten good at blocking out the light for their strange sleeping hours. She’d have to readjust to that now that she’d be working nights again.

It was hard to believe she was here again. She was trying her best to reconcile everything that had happened. Until just a few days ago, she had thought herself married. Miserable, but married. She’d thought herself in love with Greg before they’d wed, but the feelings she’d had for him, even then, were nothing compared to what had blossomed with Ash. If she was honest with herself, she’d always wanted Ash, from the day he’d rescued her from the streets. He’d never allowed anything to happen between them and had treated her just like all of the other ladies here. That hadn’t stopped her from trying, though. She’d always been a bit of a flirt with him. She wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. For both of their sakes, she would have to be on her best behavior.

Quietly, she changed into clean clothes, careful to not wake Daisy. Closing the door softly behind her, she went in search of food and tea. Her stomach rumbled loudly in protest at being empty too long.

When Gwen entered the main hall, she was surprised to see Patrick, and even more surprised to see his arms wrapped around a woman, his hands clasping her bottom while he kissed her passionately. Patrick also treated all the ladies respectfully and never crossed any boundaries, so it was strange to see him that way. She wasn’t sure what to do. Part of her brain said to turn back and not interrupt, but the drawing room with the food was on the other side of them. In the end, she just stood there, her eyes darting around awkwardly, trying not to stare at the pair of them.

“Oh!” Patrick said suddenly. “Apologies, I didn’t realize anyone was around.” He stopped then, and really looked at her. “Gwen? What are you doing here?” His brow was furrowed with concern.

Gwen shrugged. “I’m back,” she said quietly.

He walked away from the woman he’d been kissing, hopefully his wife, and approached Gwen. “Are you alright?”

She nodded. “I’m just headed to the drawing room in search of some tea and something to put in my stomach.” She turned her lips up in a smile that she hoped was reassuring.

“Oh, of course. I’m sorry to be in the way.” Then, as an afterthought he continued, “Gwen, this is my wife, Rosie.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rosie.” She didn’t seem to be able to muster the strength for another smile, so she simply nodded.

Rosie, on the other hand, beamed at her. “Do you mind if I join you? We’ve just arrived, and you know how train tea is.” She shook her head, making a sarcastic face of disgust and sticking out her tongue. The joke brightened Gwen’s outlook just a bit. Perhaps the company would do her good.

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

Rosie touched her hand to the side of the teapot and her lips scrunched to one side in disapproval. “That won’t do.”

But just then, a housekeeper bustled in with a new pot. “Mrs. Corstairs, you are an angel.”

Gwen’s stomach clenched at the word and she closed her eyes, trying to center herself before she spiraled into uncontrollable grief, once more. She took a deep steadying breath.

“Do you take sugar?”

When she realized Rosie was talking to her, she wrenched her eyes open and tried to focus. “Pardon?”

Rosie smiled kindly. “Never mind. This is definitely a time for sweet tea.”

Gwen tried to return the smile, but it just wouldn’t come.

Rosie prepared their tea and handed one to Gwen. She placed her hand on Gwen’s wrist and crouched in front of her. “I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through.” There was such understanding in her eyes. “If you want to talk about it, I’m happy to listen. Or if you want to pretend nothing is happening, I can do that too.” She squeezed her arm lightly before settling into her own chair.

Tears burst from Gwen’s eyes and she set the cup and saucer on the table with a clatter. Stupid tears. “I’m sorry,” she said as she swept them away. “I didn’t mean to start crying.”

Rosie relocated to sit beside Gwen on the settee. She wrapped an arm around her and pulled her head against her shoulder. “No need to apologize, dear. You cry out all your grief.” She rocked her gently, but Gwen pulled herself together. What if Ash came down and saw her this way? Or what if Patrick saw her and told Ash?

She sniffled and sat back, wiping the remainder of her tears away. “Please don’t tell Ash I was crying.”

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