Page 48 of A Raven Returns

“Good afternoon, Sarah.”

“Ash would like a word with you in his office.”

Gwen’s stomach clenched. It had been a long time since she was last summoned to the office. Usually, being summoned meant you were in for a lecture, but she hadn’t even had a chance to earn one yet. Unless he somehow knew about her conversation with Rosie and was upset about it.

Gwen nodded and steeled herself before leaving the safety of her room and making her way to his office. He greeted her with the smile she remembered from her days as a Lady Raven. One that was kind and caring, but in no way hinted at any kind of attraction or desire.

“Come in, Gwen. Close the door and have a seat.”

She did as she was told, the blessed numbness keeping her emotions steady as she looked at him across the desk.

“How are you faring?”

“Fine,” she lied with a shrug. “It will be better once I’m working at night again. Less time to get bored.”

He nodded, but he looked a bit distracted, as if he hadn’t really listened to her answer because he was already thinking about what was coming next.

“What do you see your future looking like, Gwen?”

She felt a fracture form in the wall that was keeping her grief at bay, and anger seeped through. “I don’t know, Ash. I just got back here last night, where I’m supposed to pretend like everything is perfectly normal after learning a mere few days ago that my one-year marriage was a sham, and the man I thought was my husband was only ever my abuser. That was followed by the most incredible few days I’ve ever experienced with a man who I can never actually have and who is now my boss once more. I don’t think there’s a guide for what comes next in this kind of scenario.”

Ash looked as if he’d aged ten years in two days. His bloodshot eyes appeared slightly haunted with shadows lingering beneath and his brow furrowed as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He probably did, and rather than showing some kind of empathy, she’d snapped at him. None of this was his fault.

“I’m sorry, Ash. That wasn’t fair of me.”

“You’ve nothing to apologize for, Gwen. It was absolutely fair. I’ve been so selfishly wrapped up in what happened between us, sometimes I forget all you’re dealing with on top of that. Perhaps I need to be completely upfront and stop being cryptic about what I’m really asking.”

Suddenly, she understood. “Please don’t send me away.”

He closed his eyes, but she could still see the pain that settled on his face. When he opened them again, he gave a sad little laugh. “The words that got us into so much trouble.”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t trouble, Ash. Those nights were magical. A gift that I will never ever forget. I will treasure every second of the time I spent with you at Woodburn until I breathe my last breath. Please don’t ever convince yourself that it was anything less.”

His hands were gripped tightly together on top of his desk and the muscles of his jaw were clenched. Eventually, he nodded.

“Do you not think it might be easier somewhere away from me? Perhaps you could even take a position at Woodburn Hall?”

She shot him a look of disbelief. “And relive our time together day after day?”

“No, of course, that was a stupid suggestion. But between Michael, Patrick, and Patrick’s brother, one of them could certainly take you on. It would be a decent position where you’d be safe and looked after. They’re all good men.”

“I want to stay here, Ash.”

“Before you make your decision, there is one other thing to consider. There is always the possibility that rumors of what happened between the two of us could eventually find their way here. That could change how you’re treated by the others.”

“I’m sure I can weather it. They’re already going to know that I was bamboozled into a fake marriage. How much worse can it possibly be?”

“It could also cause problems for me. I’m afraid it would undermine my authority and my rules.”

“Well, that may be true, but if the rumors are going to somehow appear here, that will happen whether I’m here or not.”

“You’re probably right.” He looked so tired. Was he feeling heartbroken too?

“Is it hard for you to be around me, Ash? Is that why you want to send me away? Would it be easier for you if I go?”

“I don’t know.” His hand moved as if to reach across the desk, but he quickly pulled it back. “It’s going to be an adjustment for us both. But if you wish to stay, I won’t force you to leave. You’ll always be welcome here, Gwen.”

“Thank you. The truth is, I love it here. I love the life of the city. I love dancing in your club, surrounded by so much energy. I love being awake until the wee hours of the morning. The camaraderie of the women who live here. It feels more like home to me than anywhere else I’ve ever lived.”

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