Even Fogg blanched slightly at the words.
Ash nodded. “I’ve kept loose tabs on him over the years. He lives about an hour’s ride from here. I believe I can probably convince him to come and work for me while I’m here. Perhaps it will give me a chance to make amends for some of the damage my father caused him.”
“You know,” Fogg said quietly, “it isn’t actually your job to make amends for your father’s wrongdoings.”
“And it isn’t your job to coddle me,” Ash snapped.
“Yes, my lord.” Fogg bowed deeply, all the while raising a challenging brow. Ash sighed and snatched his tie out of the man’s hand.
“Point taken,” Ash grumbled. Being back here was definitely making him grumpy, but Fogg recognized the words for the apology they were.
“What of Gwen? What do you mean to do with her while you’re here?”
“I don’t bloody well know.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, once more. “She wasn’t supposed to be a part of this whole goddamn mess.”
“Might I make a suggestion?” Fogg straightened Ash’s tie and reached for his waistcoat.
“By all means.”
“I may know of the way you comport yourself, but no one here will. They would most certainly believe her to be your mistress if you wanted them to.”
“Are you suggesting we pretend to be lovers?”
Fogg shrugged slowly. “It would be a way of preventing a lot of questions about who she is and where she came from. Your servants are hardly going to question the unwed master bringing along his mistress, especially considering you had her installed right next door. Not to mention, from what you’ve said of your father, it would help to uphold the pretense that you are your father’s son.”
Ash closed his eyes. He had spent a lifetime trying to convince himself that he wasn’t like his father. Fogg stopped the brush he was running over Ash’s coat and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“You’re not him, Ash. It’s just a role you’re playing right now. I know that.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Steel edged his voice as he spoke, self-hatred oozing through his every pore.
Fogg sighed and shook his head.
“You think I’m better than him, but I’m not. I have rules now, but back then I didn’t. I tupped all the female servants. Sure, I didn’t physically force myself on any of them, but once my brother was gone and I was the heir to the earldom, they would hardly have said no. All it took was a wink or a nod and they’d drop to their knees and pleasure me wherever I stood, or allow me to bend them over the nearest piece of furniture.
“You were a boy, Ash. How could you possibly have known it was wrong when that’s all you had ever experienced?”
Ash met Fogg’s gaze in the mirror. “Don’t you dare to make excuses for what I did to those women.”
Fogg stepped back and set the brush down firmly. “No. I’m sorry, Ash. You’re my employer, but I also count you as my friend, and I will not hold my tongue this time. You are not that man. You’ve spent a lifetime trying to atone. How many good deeds will be enough? How many people will you have to save? How many times will you have to abide by your own ridiculous rules to realize you are, in fact, a good man?”
Ash turned to face his valet. “Good men don’t need rules to be good.”
“That’s my point, Ash. Neither do you.”
Ash simply shook his head.
Fogg let out a defeated sigh. “How long will you need to fetch your new valet?”
“It’s early yet, I’ll go speak with him today. The sooner you get other people working, the sooner I can get some answers and leave this godforsaken place.”
“How confident are you that he'll say yes?”
“I’ll convince him. It’s probably best if you go today. Warwick is sure to turn up soon.”
Fogg nodded. “I’m kind of surprised he hasn’t yet. I assume the storm prevented whoever is working with him from immediately sending word of your arrival.”
“I’m sure you’re right. Gwen is going to need a new wardrobe, assuming she agrees to this ridiculous plot. I’ll take her with me and get that sorted, as well. She’ll be safe, so you can go ahead and go, whenever you’re ready.”