Page 46 of Royal Rebel

He opens the door to my office, sticking his head out to say a few words, then he closes the door, locking it. “We need to have a real talk without people coming in and interrupting us.”

“Bestow your wisdom upon me.”

It’s a smart-ass answer, but Parker takes it. He knows me well, and he realizes I have to talk this out. If I don’t, it’ll drive me insane.

“This isn’t funny, Tristan.” He walks over, having a seat in front of my desk. “Do you trust me to protect you?”

“It’s a double-edged sword, Parker. I trust you with my life. You’ve always kept me safe, and I’ve never been scared with you, but this…” I trail off. “This is different.”

“Why?”

I’m struggling to say what I need to, but it has to happen.

“Because I love her. I don’t want my life shattered if she’s injured. You and I both know she’ll be targeted. The women always are. The way to get to a man is to threaten the woman who makes his world go around. She’s become that person for me.”

“You have to have faith in me, my friend, and I amtalking to you as a friend. I won’t allow anyone to hurt either of you. Easily I would take a bullet.”

I’ve become close with him, and hearing those words causes my gut to clench.

“Don’t you think I know that?”

“Then where is this anxiety coming from?”

The root of everything, where it always comes from with me. “I don’t want to end up like my father.” The words come out in a whisper. Back when I was a child, I’d looked up to him, but the man he’s become? I hate it. My biggest fear is I’ll lose Amelia and become the type of man he is now. The one who can’t allow himself to feel, the one who pretends like he’s living the life he wants.

When the reality is he’s so unhappy, I wouldn’t be surprised if he exiled himself once I take over the throne.

“You won’t, because you aren’t him. You’re Tristan, someone completely different from him. Everything about your lives is different except for being king. Look at the family he grew up with, versus the one you grew up with. Your mother, his mother. I promise you.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’re not your father.”

He says it like it’s just so. It can’t be this easy. If it were this easy no one would be like their family. We’d all skip over whatever horrible gene is in our line and become the best people ever. Since life isn’t like that, I have more questions to ask.

“Aren’t we the product of our parents?” I’m still not convinced.

“We’re products of our environment, and the one you were raised in was a good one. You can pass it on to your own children.”

A smirk pushes the side of my mouth up thinking of Amelia big and round with a child. “You believe I can?”

“I know you can. When you don’t have confidence in yourself, that’s what we’re here for. You have an extensive network of people who love you, Tris. Not for the king you’re going to be, but for the man you are. Don’t forget that in the craziness of what will be the next few months. You have a support system, all you need to do is call on them.”

“Thank you, Parker. Sometimes I feel like I’m in an ocean on an island all by myself. I realize it’s me who feels this way, not because anyone causes it.”

He nods. “This is overwhelming. Do you think I wasn’t nervous when I took over your patrol five years ago? I second-guessed myself all the time, but eventually I came to understand I know my job. I know my place in your life.”

I flinch when he says those last words. “I hope I’ve never made you feel like you’re the help. That’s most definitely not the place in my life you have.”

“No.” He chuckles. “That came out all wrong. My place is to make sure you’re safe, make sure you’re cared for, mentally and physically. Along the way you’ve become one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and I thank you for that.”

“Do you think I’ve changed since Amelia showed up?”

This is bothering me lately, part of me wonders if I’m the best for her. If possibly she could be engaged to another man who cherishes her more than I can.

“Oh my god, yes. You’re not as selfish. You’ve matured, and you think about her before you think about yourself. There aren’t days when I worry if you’re going to do something stupid for attention from your father.”

I chuckle. “I did do that, didn’t I?”

“All the time, but now you don’t need that attention. Youhave it with her. She makes you the center of your world, and I believe that’s what you’ve needed more than anything. To know someone loves you unconditionally.”

A deep breath blows out of my lungs. “Because my father’s always made love conditional. He would only show his love if I did what I was supposed to do, be the son he thought I should be.”