Page 56 of Royal Rebel

I roll my eyes, sighing. I should have known he would take one last moment for himself. “It’s always got to be about you, doesn’t it?”

He’s unaffected. “I am the king, Tristan.”

“Not really,” I remind him, a smirk on my face. “The minute I turned twenty-five, your time was over. You don’t have to even abdicate. By law, the crown is mine.”

He hates this, the way his jaw tightens, his teeth grind together. The only thing he’s known for the last twenty-six years is the throne.

“You don’t have to remind me.”

“I’m not unsympathetic to what’s happening with you, Dad. It’s time, though, time for you to find a hobby, something that will make you happy.”

His tone is resigned, a sadness replacing so much of the anger and vindication that’s been there for so long. “Your mother made me happy.”

The words are like a punch in the gut. No matter how hard he’s made life for me the past few years, he’s still my father.

More than anyone, I know this. I know the shell of a man he became once she was gone, and it still hurts that I wasn’t able to help ease his pain. I suspect no one will ever be able to ease the hell he lives in. He’s never said it, but I know he blames himself. If he wasn’t king, my mom wouldn’t have been in the situation she was in.

“There are other things that can make you happy.”

He looks over and for the first time in a long time he’s looking at me without the mask of the man he’s become. He’s looking at me like the father he was. I take this look and hold onto it. The grieving widower who doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings has been pushed aside for a short amount of time.

“I’m not so sure about that.” He rubs his chin. “I wasn’t like you. I lived my life knowing this would be the endgame for me. You knew it, but you didn’t allow it tokeep you from experiencing all the things a young man does.”

For the first time in my life, I’m hearing something I’ve wanted to from my dad. The truth, possible pride, and praise I never counted on.

“I never would have thought to break curfew, ditch my protection team, or drive my car at top speeds through the streets of Haldonia. I respect you doing that in a way.” He stops to take a drink of the water sitting in front of him. “I’ve had no life experience. Not like you have. There isn’t anything for me to compare to. I never did anything I wasn’t supposed to do.”

For the first time, I chuckle, realizing how much of a hellion I am compared to him. Maybe he didn’t know how to control me because he’d never once thought of being out of control. “You know, I never thought about it like that, but you’re right. I can’t remember you ever doing anything that angered your team, or grandfather. You truly have done everything you were supposed to do, haven’t you?”

He nods. “It’s why I’m so scared not to have this seat at the table anymore.”

I walk over, extending my hand to him. One of us has to forgive, and if it’s up to me, then that’s fine. For the good of my family and for the good of the country, I’ll take the first step. “You’ll always have a seat at my table. No matter how much we’ve argued over the years, especially since Mom died, you’ve always been my father.”

Uncharacteristic wetness can be seen in his eyes. He wipes discreetly at it. “I admire you. As soon as you realized Amelia was here for you, you took her away from the scrutiny of downtown Haldonia. It’s obvious how close the two of you have become in the last few months. More thananything, I wish you a life of love and a million memories. Sometimes memories are all we have left. I hate to be the person to remind you of that, and…” He stops for a moment, picking at an invisible piece of lint on his dress pants. “I’m sorry for what happened. When I put my hands on you. It never should have come to that. I’m terribly sorry, Tristan. I’ve had time to think about it and put it into perspective. That angry man wasn’t me when I took this throne, and I don’t want it to be me as I leave it.”

“Thank you.”

There’s nothing more I can say. This man who purposely kept himself closed off from everyone since my mother passed away is finally opening up. The way I’ve wanted him to my entire life. On the eve of my wedding, it’s almost too much for me to emotionally deal with.

I promise myself I will.

If he’s been brave enough to do this type of work on himself, the least I can do is appreciate it, and acknowledge it wasn’t easy.

“Tomorrow is okay with you?”

He phrases it in a question and for the first time in my life, I get he’s actually asking my permission. He’s not being a smartass and framing it in a way where I’ll be expected to say yes. Perhaps believing he’s been doing that for so long is my fault. Maybe I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt when I should have.

“Tomorrow is perfect.” I open my arms, and he falls into them.

Giving me the hug I’ve wanted far too often in my life, and never received. Those memories he talked about? This will be one of the best ones I carry with me, through whatever it is the future brings.

“Nervous?” Parker asks as he enters my office.

Dad left almost an hour ago and I’ve been sitting here, stewing in my own thoughts, trying to get them together. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, at least for me, and it’s starting to become abundantly clear the closer we get. I wonder what Amelia will look like possibly thirty years from now as we welcome a new king and queen to take over Haldonia. That’s my plan. Five years before we bring a child into this craziness. I have a feeling it’ll be as soon as possible, though. I have a lot of love to give.

“Slightly.” I give him a smile.

He gives me a smile back. “That’s why I’ve brought you this.” From within his suit pocket, he pulls two cigars out. “Figured we couldtoaston your upcoming nuptials.”

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