Page 10 of Untruly With You

“Someone named Frankie called you back at the apartment,” I explain, moving my eyes to the floor so I can avoid looking directly at Sutton. “She wants you to call her back. ASAP. I don’t remember you talking about a Frankie,” I say, hiding my anxiousness with a weak laugh.

If Sutton is suddenly dating this “Frankie” girl, that would mean our time together would end. After all, even if assured there’s nothing going on between us, even though I’ve sworn off dating, there’s no way she would be happy about us spending so much time together. Already, I’m imagining the loss of my first best friend.

Sutton runs a hand through his hair, grinning. “She’s my sister.”

I’m quiet for a few moments, feeling like I’m walking a tightrope. One on hand, I’m relieved to hear I won’t have toworry about Frankie inthatway. But on the other hand, in all the time we’ve spent together, I can only remember a few times Sutton has talked about his family. I’ve gone into dangerous waters. While I know Sutton has a brother and sister, that’s aboutallI know.

He doesn’t like to talk about his family.

And I like to keep him happy.

So even now, when a hundred questions are firing in my mind, I squeeze my lips together.

“You shouldn’t be thinking about my sister right now, though. I’ll call her back after the graduation dust settles.” Sutton grabs me by both shoulders, his massive hands squeezing me gently. “You’ll do great,” he says, leaning down so he can look me directly in the eyes. His face softens, and those dimples flash as if carved just for me.

A flutter in my stomach stirs. I must be more nervous about the test than I realized.

5

SUTTON

“Just a few more pictures!”Ms. Carr gushes, grabbing me by the elbows and manually scooting me right next to Laine.

In the midst of the graduation excitement, I almost forgot about the missed call from Frankie. The weight of it feels like a distant cloud in the sky, currently outshined by the radiance of Laine and her parents.

“Come on, act like you know each other,” Cyrus prods, smiling at us from behind his camera.

Laine obliges, tightening an arm around the middle of my back, and I follow suit, laying mine over her shoulders. It's strange how a simple touch can hold so much significance. Even as we started to spend more and more time together throughout the semester, I was careful to keep boundaries between us, especially when it came to physicality. Now that I’m no longer Laine’s TA, the barriers that restrained me from getting too close have vanished, leaving possibilities that both excite and terrify me.

As we pose for the pictures, I wonder if my feelings are transparent to those around us. I wonder if Cyrus and Ms.Carr have noticed the way my smile is always bigger, my laugh always louder when I’m with Laine. Even if they haven’t guessed my feelings yet, how much longer can I conceal them when I can no longer carefully hide behind the walls of professionalism?

I can't help but notice the softness of Laine's skin beneath my hand and the way she leans in slightly, as if she's reveling in the closeness just as much as I am. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, though. After all, Laine has always made it clear that she could never dream of settling down. She relayed her failed college relationships early on in our friendship and swore that she doesn’t want a serious relationship until she’s thirty. Even if she changes her mind, surely it would be for someone more like her. Fun, energetic,alive.

Not some guy on antidepressants who works fifty-hour weeks so he can avoid thinking about anything else.

“We should go find our seats,” Laine says, showing her palm to the camera. She gives my torso a squeeze before letting go.

“Fine,” Ms. Carr says, snapping one last picture. “We areso proudof you,” she whispers, pulling Laine into an embrace. When she draws back, holding Laine at arm’s reach for one more look at her, both of the women’s eyes glisten. They’re a far different pair than the one I accidentally eavesdropped on just mere months ago.

“No tears!” Cyrus says, butting between them so he can give Laine a bear hug. “This is a day of celebration.”

My breath catches in my throat as I watch the three of them. Laine isn’t as close with her parents as most people I know. She claims that she’s seen them more in the past few months than she has for the past few years. But still, they love her, even if they don’t always show it.

Myparents don’t even know I’m graduating today.

As if reading my mind, Ms. Carr pulls me into her thinarms. “We’re proud of you too.” She’s at least a foot shorter than me and has to weigh half what I do, but she still manages to wrap her arms around my middle. Cyrus piles in on the hug, dragging Laine with him, until all four of us are packed together.

“I’m sorry your family couldn’t be here,” Cyrus says, his voice almost a whisper.

In our tight huddle, I see Laine’s eyes flick to me nervously. “Okay, I love you both. I really do,” Laine says, a bit breathless from Cyrus’s continued squeezing. “But Sutton and I need to go to our seats, or we’ll be late. Let’s go, cowboy.”

“Look at you, being a stickler for time.” Cyrus laughs, breaking the group hug. “Never thought I’d see the day. Sutton reallyisa good influence on you.”

Graduation is being held at the center of the Yankee baseball stadium, and as Laine and I make our way through the crowd of cap-topped grads, we can’t go more than ten feet without someone stopping Laine to talk to her. She has that effect on people. Everyone who meets her sees her as a friend. She claims I’m one of the lucky few for whom that is actually true.

“How weird was that?” Laine asks me once we’re seated. “My parents haven’t spent any time together since their divorce, and now they’re doing agroup hug?”

“They’re excited for you,” I insist. “As they should be.”

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